Hey guys! I'm back with another Ouran High School Host Club one-shot! This was intended as only sibling fluff, but I really can't stop you from shipping them. You do whatever makes your little hearts happy, I don't judge. Hope you all enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club. Sorry if you thought I did.
Today was the day. The day of the funeral. Kaoru had been dreading this day ever since it had been mentioned, and now that it was finally here, he wasn't sure how to handle it. He didn't want to have a funeral for his brother, it would just prove that he was actually dead. And Kaoru had been trying to pretend that he wasn't. Kaoru felt like it just couldn't be true, felt that Hikaru just couldn't be dead.
Kaoru thought he would feel something if his brother was dead, that as soon as it happened he would know about it, feel like a piece of him had suddenly died the second his brother left the world. But he hadn't felt anything like that at all.
He had woken up in the hospital, a little banged up and slightly scared about what had happened, but nothing more. There was no sudden realization that his brother was gone, that he was never coming back. He had been expecting the doctor to come into his room and for him to ask for his brother and then for her to say that he was fine, just in a separate room for whatever reason.
Instead, all he got when he asked for Hikaru was a pitying look, like there was something wrong. And when Kaoru had asked just why the doctor had been looking at him like that, he got his answer. His brother was dead, killed in the fire that he had somehow survived. The one to die out of the hundreds of people who had been in the hotel. The only one.
Kaoru had argued with the doctor, explained to the woman that that was simply not so, that his brother – his twin brother that was everything in the world and more to him – could not be dead. No, Kaoru would have known, he just would have.
When the doctor said that Hikaru was actually dead – that he couldn't have survived when he was up on the roof and no one had seen him exit, even if there were no remains to show for it – Kaoru continued to object. He screamed and screamed until he was hoarse, and then he cried because, well, at the time he hadn't been sure why.
But right then, staring at the empty coffin that was being lowered into the ground, Kaoru had a feeling it was because he had excepted what had happened, reluctant as he had been to believe it. Even his parents had cried and tried to reassure him, promised him that they would be home more often and would spend more time with him. But even though he smiled and said that it sounded like a great idea and that he would really appreciate it, he knew that none of it really mattered to him, not if Hikaru wasn't there to enjoy it with him. Kaoru figured that nothing would ever be the same again.
Kaoru couldn't help but think about how pointless the whole ceremony was. It wasn't like they had Hikaru to bury, they didn't even get his body. It was just an empty box, and it meant nothing to Kaoru. That box was not his brother, they wouldn't get any closure from this, from burying a hollow piece of wood, no matter how fancy it was. Even if Hikaru's body was in the box, Kaoru doubted it would be any different. It wouldn't be the same without Hikaru around, and no amount of hugging or crying or box-burying would ever change that.
Was this supposed to make him feel better that his only brother had died? Well it didn't. As soon as the box was in the ground and the ceremony was over, Kaoru ran out of the cemetery, and he didn't care who was calling him back, telling him that everything was okay, because everything wasn't okay. Why couldn't anyone understand that?
He ran and he ran, as fast as his legs would carry him. He had to get away from that damn cemetery, from that damn funeral. It didn't feel right, Hikaru couldn't be dead. It just wasn't right.
Kaoru hadn't realized where he'd been going until he was there. The spot wasn't far from his house, actually. A small pond, surrounded by trees. The perfect place to hide. He remembered all the times he had come here when he was upset, just to get away from everybody for a little while. And all the times that Hikaru had come along to comfort him and make everything okay again. That was what his brother always did. But not anymore. He couldn't do it anymore.
Kaoru wasn't aware that he was crying until a tear hit his arm, and then his hands were on his face, scrupulously rubbing at the tears there.
Why was he crying? He shouldn't be crying. That was all Kaoru could ever do, cry and cry and hope that whatever was wrong would be fixed, but never actually doing anything about it. Hikaru had always been the one to fix things, so what was Kaoru going to do without him?
As mischievous as his brother had been, he had always been there and had always fixed everything that had gone wrong, simply because Kaoru could not. He was helpless, he knew that, but that was why he'd had Hikaru. That was why they had been twins. But he didn't have Hikaru anymore, so what was he going to do?
It should have been him. Hikaru was so much more capable of functioning in the real world, it would have been better if Kaoru had died. It should have been him.
A person sat beside him, and Kaoru wasn't sure how they had managed to find him, but he didn't care who it was. He just wanted to be along right now, and yet no one seemed to get that.
"I knew I'd find you here," the person said, and Kaoru was sure he had almost had a heart attack. He knew that voice, would recognize it anywhere.
He was afraid to look, afraid that he was dreaming and that, if he looked, all of it would disappear and he'd be left with nothing. But he had to know.
He risked a peek through his bangs, and was shocked beyond belief to find that his ears hadn't deceived him. It was Hikaru. He was alive! He looked a little strange – his hair brushed back more than normal and wearing clothes that were not his own – but other than that, he was fine, which Kaoru didn't completely understand because hadn't he just escaped a fire? But Kaoru couldn't have cared less about that at the time because he was alive!
"Hikaru?" Kaoru whispered, just to make sure he wasn't dreaming. Hikaru nodded.
Before either really knew what was going on, Kaoru had flung himself at his brother and wrapped his arms so tight around him that Hikaru felt as though he might actually explode.
"You're okay! You're alive!" Kaoru shouted happily, albeit through tears, that were now happy. He nuzzled his nose into the crook of Hikaru's neck and squeezed his brother harder, if that was even possible.
Hikaru had returned Kaoru's embrace as well, burying his face in his brother's hair. He had missed him, even if it hadn't been that long.
"I'm sorry I didn't come back sooner, it took me a while to remember," Hikaru apologized.
"It's okay," Kaoru mumbled, the sound muffled by the fact that his face was still hidden, "I'm just glad your okay."
Kaoru pulled away and looked Hikaru in the eyes, "Th-they tried to tell me you were dead, but i-it just didn't feel right. You couldn't have been dead, I knew it."
Hikaru's eyes crinkled, and Kaoru thought that he looked somewhat sad, "I'm sorry I was gone so long, that you had to go through that. A lot has happened."
"You'll have to tell me about it later, and I already said it was fine, Hikaru. But," Kaoru brought his hand from around Hikaru and smacked him on the arm, "if you ever do that again, I'll personally kill you myself."
Hikaru chuckled, "Whatever you say, Kaoru."
"But seriously," Kaoru said, hugging his brother again, "don't ever do that again, everyone was really upset. It was horrible."
"Sorry. We should probably go tell everyone then, huh?"
"You mean, you haven't yet?" Kaoru asked.
"No, I wanted to find you first," Hikaru explained.
"How touching," Kaoru said sarcastically before separating himself from his brother so that they could get up. He had practically been on top of him.
When they had stood up, Kaoru gave Hikaru one more quick hug, and when the boy had asked why, Kaoru explained that it was to make sure. The rest of the walk to the cemetery – where all of their friends and family were gathered for the funeral – Hikaru had his arm firmly wrapped around his brother's waist, keeping him close by and reassuring Kaoru that he was, in fact, still there.