So, long story short… I wanted to practice writing in third person. Because I'm definitely not quote-unquote good at it.
Anyway, once again: there's some one-sided and blatant ShigaDeku going on and it may or may not contain traces of TodoDeku, too. You can find this piece on my tumblr (inexchangeforyoursoul) with minimal differences, too. For reference, the story plays about 8.5 years after where the story is currently (aka after saving princess Kacchan).
Six years, five months, and exactly one week. That's how much time he had spent at the clinic.
He hated it. Shimura Tenko, as he was listed for protection purposes apart from other reasons, truly loathed every single day spent in the building which was oozing the characteristic hospital stench from every existing corner. Even more so in the beginning when he wouldn't be allowed to leave the bed, save the room or the outer walls of the institution… and how he would end up tied down time after time due to the initial suicide attempts. Wasted almost two years like that, didn't he.
Now, that he has to leave, though… he is afraid. Just looking down the path toward the gates signing the exit from this place makes him feel woozy; how funny, considering he would have given a limb and a half for the very same thing a few weeks ago. Up until he was told that there were two more months left, that is, and his urge to break out faded into apprehension and anxiety as time passed by.
About halfway through, he would catch himself scratching the neck again- the first time in ages. And, for a moment, a single moment, he almost believed he was back to ground zero. That any second from now, he would go for someone's throat or be staring down at a sharp object or the abyss below and reach out or take one step forward. And he waited for it, for days to come… but the urge never came. Eventually he realized that things were different; that they actually changed. That he had changed.
He had burst into tears right after, remembering all the times when Himiko, who had foiled at least one of his attempts at his own life by spilling the beans in her casual happy-go-lucky way after catching him red-handed fiddling at the rooftop door, would call him stupid after making a scene. Then getting scolded by the nurse, the doctor and his dog and his wife, the psychiatrist in a roundabout way as he had always guessed… and also Midoriya Izuku.
The last one had always been the worst, because there were no words involved. He just had to look at the other, who would be wearing his school uniform often at that time, and see the disappointment in his eyes. It was sweet of him to try and hide it- but the sadness in his voice betrayed him. And every single time, Tenko would remember Izuku's promise, and feel his heart sink and think of how much of a piece of garbage he was.
In the light of his behavior it came as quite a surprise that the other tried to keep at it with such determination, visiting almost every day, with the exception of exam periods and later longer trips abroad. Even as a pro with little time at his hands, he just… never gave up on him. At times, he would even drag others in, but the only ones who eventually came by their own volition were some of the former discharged Villain Alliance members (mostly Himiko) either for kicks or to piss him off, Miss Midoriya in her awkward but sweet way with some home cooked food and the occasional quick chat, and, for whatever reason, Todoroki Shouto, who was just…. there.
At those times when Izuku could not make it, the silent boy would randomly appear, and sit down to do his homework, read a book, you name it. He would rarely utter a word. It was bizarre and quite frankly, also rather creepy at first. Eventually the awkwardness faded into silent company, and in the past year Tenko got fed up with the calm and started to ask about what he was reading at the time, how Izuku was doing, or getting the info on things which the other's boyfriend would not talk about anyway. It was nice, actually. Getting legitimate communication with someone new.
He pries his eyes away from the entrance as a familiar figure enters the vista, just to have a last look around his room. It's a much nicer one than the extra sterile hole in another building where he was locked up in for quite some time; and if it weren't for the stench, shitty memories, and the lunatics screaming and running about all the time, he would daresay even like it here. Emphasis on "would".
Picking up the bag and about to close the door, he wonders a bit what his next place will look like… he's had a 4-hour-shift administration job he got through the rehabilitation process for over three months, but that was everything set in stone for the time being. He did skim some accommodation ads, but did not consider either offer seriously. Pay the caution money, and… POOF, he's left with nothing - and there was no way he would earn enough through this placeholder of a decent income to keep any of those flats anyway. A solution would be to crash on the couch of an acquaintance who puts up with him for a few months, but everyone willing to do so is sitting in jail, living their busy as hell lives, or living at the world's ass, where he would have to look for another job first, and, just… ughh.
He shuts the door with a huff and takes his leave before he could waste more time on thinking about how thoroughly screwed he is.
"Oh," he hears the familiar voice while trotting down the stairs, "you are ready to go?"
Lifting his gaze, he's met with a pair of green eyes.
"You sound surprised. No offense, but who are you and where's the real Midoriya Izuku?" he says with mocking suspicion as he passes the boy -suppose one should call him a man now-, who never managed to grow quite as tall as he did.
"Ah, sorry," the other babbles while he checks out; "I just did not think you would get up early enough to pack and get ready by the time I got here. It's, uh, just not something you do, you know?"
"Wow. Thanks."
"I wanted to help, alright?" he says, audibly smiling.
"In that case –goodbye-" Tenko nods at the receptionist and nurse who happen to be around; former gives him an encouraging smile that he cannot help but compare to the smiles of his escort, "… you can carry this, dork." he finishes the train of thought as he whacks the other with the rather scantly filled bag without looking.
"I couldn't sleep anyway, so… I guessed I should spend time in a more productive way." he adds upon exiting to the roofed terrace. Seeing the iron gates in the distance again, he slows down, feeling the blood fading from his face.
"Well, you did want to leave this place since day one," Izuku sang, flinging the baggage over his shoulder while walking by "so being overexcited sounds like a proper excuse to wake up at uncanny times and… hey." he stops, looking back to where the other stands, his smile melting away in an instant and giving place to worry. He skips back and puts his warm hands on the other's shoulders, who then notices how cold he actually is. "You look really pale. Do you want to sit down?"
There is no doubt that his legs are about to give in under him... this does not bode well. He breathes a yes, but all Izuku probably noticed was him nodding the head.
"Feeling better now?"
After Tenko survived a wave of panicked muttering storm, he was sat down on the odd bench that never seemed to belong in the psychiatry's yard. Now looking into the half-empty paper cup of hot coffee in his hand, he gives a more encouraging nod.
"Good." the green haired boy breathed in relief as he leaned back and dug into his pale locks; "you really spooked me there. Is everything alright?"
Deep sigh. There were no doctors he'd ever been completely honest with. But if there was someone he did share these things with… then it had always been him.
"… I'm scared," he confesses with downcast eyes. The word leaves a bitter taste in his mouth –he hated being weak, and admitting it was the last thing he did. Or he could just blame it on the aftertaste of cheap coffee, that works too.
Izuku gives a knowing look before pulling him into an embrace.
"Everything will be fine. I promise."
As the other's fingers gently rub his scalp, a delighted sigh escapes him. How this guy had this calming effect, and how he made every word sound like absolute truth… Tenko will never understand. Opening his eyes, he takes in the golden October view of the back yard.
This place had always been nice. He never was an outdoor person, but even steaming trash heaps were more preferable to the pungent antiseptic and medication smell inside. He got used to hanging out here. Smelling the flowers, the new bakery delivery in the early afternoon, the occasional oil spill slowly burning away on the other side of the tall, grey wall in summer, someone's coffee wafting in from the streets during winter… or actual steaming garbage from the garbage truck once a week. Taking another deep breath now brought a warmer scent that he would recognize even from a thousand. He buried his face into Izuku's sweater.
Today the puny yard was extra nice.
"I feel so lost." it burst out of him at last; "And have no idea where to start- or what the fuck to do in the first place. You came here to drive me wherever, but… I didn't even arrange a place to stay at." he said finally. The lungs against his arm heaved, which was followed by a warm breeze tickling his ear.
"It's okay. There's no need to worry, really. Playing the adult is not as hard as it looks. Have faith in yourself."
A stifled and defeated snort escaped him. "You are severely overestimating both my luck and social skills, Izuku." Nothing ever went my way. Nothing. "And, uh… while my hair hides most of the scars, nine people outta ten will still freak out over the state of my face, and the few who did not send me the fuck away? Will turn 'em off with my attitude. Written with a capital A, trademark included. I… I'm just a lost case, really." God. Being honest was so inexplicably exhausting.
The warm hand on his head wandered to his nape and then to- oh no. He froze as the fingers trailed over the little wounds that lined the scratching marks under his ear. He was preparing for the worst, but all that happened was the hold on him getting firmer.
"If life is not willing to do right by you, I'll make it do so anyway." the boy declared with such conviction that anyone would have believed him in that moment.
The statement somehow… hurt. But in an oddly nice way- he felt this before. That one time, about six and a half years ago. It felt warm. And safe. A big smile found its way to Tenko's face who finally returned the hug. The cup, which he almost forgot about, dangled awkwardly in his hand.
"You are the kindest motherfucker that ever existed, you know that, kid?" He stated while trying to force a lump out of his throat. Being a selfish prick and enjoying this very much aside, he reminded himself that he was overstaying his welcome in so many ways. "But, ah-" Voice, no… this is not the time to crack. "… you can't do everything instead of me."
"Well… I might not be a kid anymore," Izuku started after the other got a hold of himself again, slowly pulling away. He took the other's hands and continued, "but… you have a point. We are grown-ass people with our own lives and troubles to take care of. So…" Oh… this is going to be bad- this is going to be it, isn't it? He was trying to prepare himself a few times, but dissolved a pillow or turned to the PS Vita left for him soon after, because the scenario wouldn't end nicely, no matter how many times he imagined it to go down. Oh no… "So what grown-ass Midoriya Izuku would like to ask grown-ass Shimura Tenko is… do you want to stay with me?"
… Wait.
Whatever expression could be read on his face when he looked up, it was probably something other than surprise, because apart from staying dead serious, the look the other gave was also of concern and slight embarrassment. He tried to squeeze out a "what", but no sound could find its way out and the boy started rambling again.
"I've talked with mom and Shouto, and they are fine with it. The room is a little claustrophobic with no windows which you, uh, probably don't appreciate… and is still quite messy to be honest… but I got my old bed ready the other day and you don't even have to stay in there. You could also nap on the couch when you feel like it. Or play games there, it's fine. Even if you find another place, you are welcome to stay whenever you want. If… if you would like to, that is."
A solid minute passed until he managed to process what the other just said while his friend started sweating bullets in the growing awkwardness of the situation, staring down at their hands and probably regretting taking his about a hundred times by now.
"Why…" he squeezed the question out once having regained his ability to talk "… would you do this for me?"
Izuku was probably having an inner monologue by then as he jumped when the first word got out- within seconds, though, he relaxed "I promised, didn't I?" he said with a gentle smile; "I'll be right by your side."
… Dang. He had an inkling for a while, and was trying to ignore it by all means. He really did. But now… indeed, what now? He has no idea what to say.
"If you are trying to woo me, stop right now." he deadpanned. Izuku raised a brow and burst into giggles a few moments after which soon escalated into laughter. Well, that was probably not the way to go. But hell if he will back off now, no no… he will win this round, and be it the last thing he does.
"I'm telling because you keep doing shit like holding hands and it makes me jump to conclusions… and it's working, you know?," comes the continuation, accompanied by a steadily growing wolfish grin.
"Oh… oh my god, Tom- Tenko, please." While trying to suppress the giggles, the other turns gradually into a literal carrot. That face? GG wp.
Seeing the other like this, he can't help but start giggling, too. "You should… see yourself, man. Hey, guess what, you damn munchkin?" he pats the other's shoulder, leaning closer "I. Love. You."
"N-Nohooo…!" squeaked Izuku with his face already buried into his palms… and slowly taking up a fetal position. By doing so, he couldn't see the other- much to Tenko's relief, as he was also flushing deep red, with the dumbest smile across his face- and shedding tears, too, apparently.
If only it wasn't true.
"You are… terrible." Izuku mumbles eventually, giving a halfhearted mean look from between his fingers. The smile greeting him is the smuggest he's ever seen.
"In other news, the sky's blue and the grass is green~" To be honest, his cheeks are hurting. But he doesn't care, he's just basking in the moment and attention.
"Don't sass me." the exhausted boy said while sitting up, rolling his eyes.
"Izuku, dear, I don't know what you are talking about." the other responds, flipping his hair.
On one hand, he was definitely feeling better, and showing a side Izuku saw only glimpses of. On the other hand, though… he was definitely enjoying this, wasn't he.
"No dinner for you, drama queen."
Tenko is about to say something, but then he remembers… dinner. He snaps his head back towards Izuku again, with what could quite possibly a perfect realization of the ":0" face if there ever was one.
"You!" His friend is at a loss as a pointing finger appears at the tip of his nose … what was this about? "Forget your bed! Honey mustard chicken… and curry rice! You promised!"
The lightbulb goes off in Izuku's head after a second.
"Oh… OH, you're right…!" the realization hits him. When he had paid a visit to Black Mist in his cell quite early on to ask for help with his newly adopted overdramatic douchebag, he also received a recipe without context. He couldn't help but know that the man engulfed in dark matter was grinning wide without offering an answer when asked what it was for… and when asking Tenko, it turned out it was his favorite dish. As in an "I'd murder anyone that comes between me and my food" kinda deal. And he did, indeed, promise to make it for him whenever he got out of the mental institute. And prepared it a few times to learn how it goes for the big day. The day, which was, indeed, today. "Ah, shit, I need to go shopping!" he shouted, slapping his forehead.
"What are we waiting for, then!?" was the excited response as Izuku got pulled on his feet.
"Okay, okay," he mumbled while fishing for his car keys in his pocket, "we'll need… only curry and honey, actually." Izuku grabbed the other's hand and sprinted towards the gates "The supermarket it is, and then we go home and make the most delicious chicken and rice you've ever tasted!"
Tenko's heart may have skipped a beat upon hearing that. He didn't even notice that they were already outside, on their way to the parking lot, like many times before. There was nothing to be scared about. Not anymore.
He was going home.