Sleep was the hardest part for Tessa since her arrival at the Institute. The nights seemed to drag on for her. The days were a blur. She lived her first couple of days at the Institute in what seemed like a rut. Yes, she was beyond grateful for Will for rescuing her, however, she seemed to be caught up in her thoughts about Will's companion who mysteriously seemed to be around rarely if at all.
Soft music came from down the hall. Every night Tessa would wander down the same hall, silently, hoping no one would wake to the slight sounds of her movement as she made her way towards the noise. Her heart always started to flutter a little faster as she got closer to the music. However, she's never gotten enough courage to get completely there.
"What are you doing here Tessa?" a voice questioned from behind.
With a gasp Tessa turned to see who it could be this late at night. With a sigh of relief, she realized it was only Will.
"I'll ask you again, what could you possibly be doing here at this time of night?" Will asked with a hint of irritation in his voice.
"To be fair Will, you didn't exactly ask about this time of night, you only asked about what I was doing here." Tessa replied.
Will gave her a sharp look and inched towards her slowly. 'Why did he always do this?' Tessa thought. There were several times where he would act like he cared so much about her, that he was interested in who she was and what she was interested in. Then there were times like this, where it seemed like all the hate in the world was pointed right at her.
"Dare you come any closer Will, I will scream."
"No You won't. You wouldn't want to wake the whole house, I know you."
"I was just curious as to who was playing the music… that's all." Tessa answered with her head low.
"Just head back to your room Tessa." He replied as he backed away from her in what seemed like disgust.
She hesitated for a second then turned to make her way back down the opposite end of the hall. However, her thoughts were still hanging back there with the music. How is she supposed to ignore such beautiful music?
Just as she was about to walk into her room she turned around only to see Will watching her, probably to make sure that she did as she was told. They held eye contact for a brief second. Anger, wander, & lust filled her eyes & mind as she turned her head and headed back into her room.
After laying in the dark for an hour or so, she still heard the slight sound of music. Without a second thought she got out of bed and decided to make her way down the hall again to the room. She feared that Will would be waiting somewhere in the hall, but it was a chance she was willing to take. Every step made her heart race a little bit faster. Before she knew it she was standing right outside the door, hearing the music better and louder than ever. She had only dreamt of this moment and couldn't decide on how to act upon it. Suddenly the music stopped. Just as she was about to turn around and walk away, the door flung open.
As she started to turn her head towards the person, she couldn't hear a thing. All she could hear is her heart beating at high speed, she would be surprised if they couldn't hear it as well.
As she glanced up, in fear of who it was, all that she saw was a smile on his face. She recognized him instantly. It was the other man you had saved her alongside Will. She couldn't help but just stare at him. He was beyond handsome. It was as if he had her in some type of hold.
"Was there something you needed?" He asked. Even his voice was perfect. It sent chills throughout her body while at the same time it made her feel as if she was on fire.
"I just heard music coming from around here & thought I'd see who was playing." Tessa responded. She was trying her hardest to remember his name & wondered if he remembered who she was.
"It's Jem. It's nice to finally properly meet you Tessa. Would you like to come in and talk for a while?" He said smoothly. He stepped aside from the door frame & kept his eyes on her face.
Tessa couldn't even respond properly. The best she could respond with was a quick head nod & shy smile. She didn't even think about the consequences of being in a man's room alone with him. At that point she didn't even care. She couldn't help but feel some type of instant connection with him.
They ended up talking for hours & before she knew it the sun was just about rising, making it morning to come soon enough. She enjoyed those hours spent with him. It was nothing like talking to Will. She could be herself and talk freely about what was on her mind without being given a cold stare. She learned about his illness & his love for music & many other interests they had in common.
They both stared out the window in silence. Not the horrible awkward kind, but the peaceful, happy kind.
"I loved the time I spent with you Tessa." Jem said quietly. "It's been awhile since I've gotten along with someone so well without even trying."
Tessa felt her face turning red and her heart was racing. She didn't understand why she was feeling this way. It wasn't possible to feel this way with someone who had just recently came into her life...at least that's what she thought.
Throughout the days she started to realize her mind kept wandering back to Jem. Whether he's okay or just thinking about him in general. The two of them would occasionally pass by each other & as cliché as it sounds, it would seem as if it's only them together. Every night after the one they met up in Jem's room and either talked the night away or she'll lay there listening to him play his violin.
As she walked towards the library someone grabbed onto Tessa's wrist, "Why are you avoiding me?" the all too familiar voice asked with a hint of sadness.
"I have not Will. I've just been busy." She snatched her wrist away from his grip.
He turned her around to face him directly face to face. With their faces inches away he asked with his voice low, "You're killing me here Tessa, all I want to do is to just talk."
"About what exactly?" The irritation wasn't hidden as well as she hoped.
"About us, I thought there was something between us… I thought you were happy when you were with me." There was something about the way he said it, as if he actually meant what he said. Maybe he did mean it, but it was just hard to trust him.
"There was never us Will, it was a simple 'you save me & you be a hero' deal."
With that he released her. "If that's what you think, then so be it." Without another glance at her he turned and walked towards the weapons room.
Maybe at the beginning she might have felt something towards him. But whatever that was is gone now. Yes, she still cared whether he's okay or not. But it wasn't her top priority. Her main goal from there on out was to find her brother while at the same time try to be happy with who and where she's at.
As she sat in the library she couldn't but replay her moments with Jem. Every horrible thing that has ever happened to her in her short time in London has disappeared completely with him around. As if he heard her thoughts, he walked into the library smiling brightly at Tessa.
"How could you have possibly known I was here?" she asked smiling back at him.
"My heart started to act up and I decided for once I'd follow it, and it led me here, which I'm glad it did."
She couldn't even reply. She was caught off guard and all she could do is look at him. She studied his face, every muscle, every line, every mark. Her eyes started to wander down towards his neck then down to his arms. Every inch of him seemed to be perfect. She didn't know how long she was staring for but eventually she locked eyes with him.
"What?" he asked slightly smiling.
"I just love looking at you," she responded unknowingly, "I… uhhh… I mean – "
A genuine grin started to spread across his face. "I love looking at you too Tessa."
The atmosphere around them grew thick with tension. She couldn't tell if he was thinking the same as her. If he wanted her just as bad as she wanted him. Without losing eye contact he shifted to the seat next to her. She was sure of it; Jem could definitely hear her heart with him being this close.
"What's going on here?" an annoyed, angry voice snapped from the doorway.
Jem didn't even flinch, he slowly raised and headed towards Will. Not a word was said between the two of them. A different kind of tension was around now. Tessa was sure the whole house could probably feel it without a doubt. Both Will & Jem stood face to face. It seemed as if they were mentally fighting each other; Will most likely beat up Jem several times in his head. Jem however, did a quick glance at Tessa gave a sad smile & continued out the door.
Inside she cried for him to come back; to make sure that he's alright. Will on the other hand was making his way over to her. For some reason, fear flooded her emotions. She was terrified, she couldn't tell what he was exactly thinking of due to his expression. It seemed to be unreadable.
"You've got to be kidding me," Will sternly yet calmly said, "you're done with me because you found someone else. I thought what we had was something real."
"I have no idea what you're talking about Will," Tessa tried to reply without a shaky voice, "you never showed an interest towards me. You were confusing. You sent me mixed signs. Besides I'm happy with Jem; we get along well and I believe he's happy as well."
"Stay focused on the real issue Tessa," there was a change of tone in his voice, "your brothers missing & there is someone out there still looking for you." With that, Will got up and quickly exited the room.
"I have to check up on Jem, but I need to know if Will is alright as well." Tessa thought to herself. However, she chose to go to neither. Tessa decided it was best if she had some alone time and used the time alone to research more on the Dark Sisters in order to help locate her brother.
Night fell, instead of heading towards Jem's room she stayed in her own. Earlier she found a book that might help her better understand the new world she was just introduced too. She thought it'll be best if she could try to figure out who or what she was & why she would be so important to the Dark Sisters.
She heard the faint sounds of footsteps walking past her room. At first it was thought nothing of by Tessa. Soon she realized that it was a constant sound, as if someone was pacing. She did her best to ignore the noise & tried to continue on with her reading. The pacing seemed to cease after a while, however what followed was the thud against the wall.
Quietly she got off her bed and made her way to the door trying to go without being heard. With her head against the door she could faintly here someone mumbling to themselves.
"…to do. Just wanted her to be happy. What was I thinking?" The voice was low & raspy. "I have to tell her. If I could just tell her."
No thought was put into her next plan of action. She quickly opened the door and pulled him into the room. His hands were in fists on his lap. He was in a very tensed position; he was very still & silent. The muscles on his arms were tight. Tessa lightly placed her hands on top of his, & instantly he entwined his fingers with hers. Before she could take another breath she was pulled into a strong & safe embrace. With her heart rapidly beating, her breath shaking, she stared up at him. A smile grew across her face as she felt the hand gently cradle her face.
"What?" he asked with eyes that shown through the night filled room.
"I just love looking at you." She responded with a smile.
"I love looking at you too Tessa, I always will." Jem's smile matched his eyes and shown throughout the dark room.
Sleep turned out to be one of the easiest & best things for Tessa since her feelings for Jem was reciprocated. From then on every night & day was an adventure.