Christian's POV
She's left and it's all because of me.
I let the darkness corrode and now she's gone because of me.
Would she ever come back?
No, she couldn't. Not with someone like me.
"I should've known this wouldn't work. You need to get your shit together, Grey. I'm not the one you want."
No, Ana. You're everything that I want.
"I've fallen in love with you, Christian."
No. No, I can't bear to hear that. She can't love me. Not ever.
Then, the unfamiliar feeling comes back and I can't fight it even if I try.
The feeling has invaded me since she entered my life but I suddenly realize what it is.
Love.
Yes. Love.
I love her. That has to be why I'm feeling this way.
Stay with me, Ana.
I love you. Come back.
"I can't stay. There's no point."
No, Ana.
"You need to find someone that obeys you and I'm sorry that it's not me. I just…I can't do this."
No. You're all that I want.
I can't live without you. Come back Ana. I love you.
I wake with a start as I try to catch my breath.
Fuck. I can't do this anymore. It's been two weeks and it's only gotten worse.
As I think about my nightmare, I'm reminded of when Ana said that she loved me and even today I still can't believe it. Even after I hurt her, she still claimed to love me and I've never been more confused. How could she love a monster like me? Even after what I did to her?
As I contemplate the memory, it finally occurs to me what I've been feeling since we met. That unfamiliar feeling has been gnawing at me inside but I never wanted to admit the truth.
I love her. That's it.
I can't fight this anymore.
I can't live without her.
Today, I win her back.
I have to win her back.