disclaimer : i own nothing.

Hopeless Desires

Maybe he'll look at me tonight.

That's what she told herself as she pulled her gold plated mask over her face. How she hated these masks. They were made of lead and sat heavily upon her face, making it hard to breath as the sickening metallic smell took over. Fighting without it wasn't an option. Seti liked the women around him flawless. If she'd been born a male, as her father had wanted, Nefertiri knew she would've placed as many scars on her body as possible.

Besides, she had to keep her face beautiful for him. All her life people had told her how beautiful she was. So fair, so thin, what pretty green eyes. Men often stopped to stare at her, even more entranced by the thought of the riches and power that laid at her fingertips. All men, in fact, but him.

Nefertiri sighed, standing up and adjusting her clothing. He would be there today, as he often was for these showings. Though she knew in the end it was for her own good, to learn to fight properly, it made her sick to know how many men were watching just to see two women act like men. She didn't want their filthy eyes on her, but the thought of his looking at her bare skin made her shiver.

What could she do to capture his attention? She was already a wonderful fighter, and a beautiful girl. What more could a man want? She knew he had an eye for women because she'd found his wandering over the Pharaoh's entourage before. What was missing?

She began to walk towards the great hall. Her opponent tonight was her father's new favorite woman, Anck-su-Namun. Nefertiri had not thought much of the girl, just relied on her snap judgements the few times they'd spoken. She was beautiful and cold, and though she was cordial and charming to everyone Nefertiri sensed there was a cruel streak in her heart. They had trained together before and she knew that this concubine was no fragile flower; she was someone to watch out for.

When she arrived there was already a crowd there. Anck-su-Namun was speaking to one of the Pharaoh's advisors, smiling more genuinely than Nefertiri had ever seen. The advisor handed her the two weapons that Seti had decided upon to begin tonight's match. Nefertiri scanned the crowd, and sure enough, standing tall and straight next to her father was the man she was looking for.

Imhotep seemed generally pleased tonight, which was odd, since he usually had a sour look on his face. In the many years she'd known him she'd seen him smile perhaps twice, and it was only in front of his priests, when he thought no one was looking.

His eyes were beautiful; amber colored and glossy, and the firelight flickered off them in a way that made them seem like deep pools of dark water. When she was merely fourteen and he was newly appointed as the high priest, she looked into his eyes once and was smitten. Back in her youth, she would find any excuse to go to the temple or make up reasons for her father to invite him to the palace. Imhotep liked the young princess, and would speak to her when she would ask him silly questions. He told her personal things when she went digging for it.

She was impressed by his history. He'd been an orphan, sent to the temple to work since there were no relatives to take care of him. Being a good student, becoming fluent in hieroglyphics at a young age, he progressed easily. Now he was the second most powerful man in the Egyptian empire. That was no small task for being the son of beggars. Such an ambitious man would make a good husband.

And he would see that she was ambitious as well. Nefertiri eyed her opponent, yet Anck-su-Namun seemed not to care about her, instead making her way through the hall and talking animatedly with the people there. Pompous bitch, Nefertiri thought, she might be a good fighter but I'll prove I'm the best in Egypt tonight.

Nefertiri cast a sideways glance as Imhotep. Now he was looking at Anck-su-Namun who was slowly inching her way closer to he and the Pharaoh. She bit her lip, hoping that perhaps tonight after the crowd died down, the high priest would come over and talk to her like he used to when she was younger.

Though she hadn't yet hit twenty five years, she was upset over her lost youth. Twenty five years was nearly old maid status for a young noble. Now that she was getting older, her father desperately wanted her to marry. If she could supply a male heir before Seti died, her son would take the throne instead of one of her cousins. Seti wanted a child of his blood to reign over the kingdom.

And Nefertiri wanted a child of the priest's blood. A little boy with his eyes. The thought made her giddy and sent a tingling sensation through her belly. Quite frankly there was no other man in the kingdom who was fit to marry her, at least in her mind. Her normal suitors were boring, uninteresting, ugly men. He was different, so different than the usual.

Seti clapped once and all were quiet.

"Let's begin, shall we?" he said, motioning towards his daughter and his mistress, "Two of my favorite ladies are going to demonstrate for us tonight. Come, take your places."

Anck-su-Namun bowed her head slightly and smirked at Nefertiri before putting on her mask. Nefertiri bowed and did the same, taking up her fighting stance, waiting for the Pharaoh to initiate the start of the duel. With one clap the two women were at each other. Anck-su-Namun moved fast and kept Nefertiri on her feet, but Nefertiri put more power behind her moves, making it an even fight on both sides.

In a quick moment Anck-su-Namun caught her off guard, and before she knew it she was on the ground. She huffed and took off her heavy mask, trying to catch her breath, her lungs and legs burning now. Anck-su-Namun laughed, "Put your mask back on. Wouldn't want to scar that pretty face."

Nefertiri bit her lip and jumped back up, striking out, wanting to shut this rotten girl up. She was a princess and who was this concubine? Just a commoner with fancy jewels after all. Nefertiri was a descendent of Gods, and it was her duty to put this wench in her place.

When she was on the ground again, she realized she had failed. There was a spear pointed directly at her neck, and Anck-su-Namun's cruel smirking face above her. "I'll have to watch my back."

"And I'll watch my back as well."

"Bravo!" the Pharaoh shouted, "Who better to protect the bracelet of Anubis than my daughter, Nefertiri?"

Protect? But I lost. Nefertiri thought, displeased that she'd failed her father, and herself, but most of all that she'd been made a fool of in front of the high priest.

Seti embraced his first born, holding her close, "You were wonderful my girl." he whispered into her ear. Nefertiri was happy that her father wasn't upset with her. She'd seen him quite unhappy when her sisters lost these matches, but for some reason she rarely did wrong in his eyes.

Nefertiri looked up and saw Anck-su-Namun looking at her. Out of the corner of her eye a familiar tall figure came into view. Him. Her heart stopped, hoping he'd look at her, smile, give her something to dream about tonight. But he didn't look at her.

As he walked by the concubine his head turned to face her instead. Anck-su-Namun looked at him, a hunger in her eyes that was obvious to Nefertiri, she'd seen it on the face of so many lovestruck women. As the priest continued on, Anck-su-Namun cast her head down, a darkness on her face. Nefertiri's heart caught in her throat.

Well you can't have him, she thought, because you're betrothed to my father and a man like that would never look twice at a whore like you.

Nefertiri wanted to run after him out of the hall, but her father gripped her by the upper arm, "Come ladies, I do believe it's time for dinner."

XXX

She'd seen him in so many dreams, both at night and in her thoughts during the day. How she wanted to kiss him and feel his skin on her's, to run her nails down his back and hear his voice whispering close to her ear. She prayed every night that these fantasies would come true one day.

Nefertiri was bored tonight, all dressed up with nowhere to go. She moved out onto the balcony of her quarters and looked out at the beautiful Thebes skyline. The city was so vibrant and alive, even at night, and it was her's for the taking.

There was a commotion across the way and she squinted to see what it was. The golden bodies of the priests were visible to her, and she wondered why they were in the concubine chambers. A black robe moved among them and she knew she was seeing the man she loved.

Imhotep, she sighed inwardly, watching him walk across the room.

He was beautiful, so beautiful to her. She was entranced watching him, not even questioning what he was doing there at this time of night.

That was until Anck-su-Namun entered the room.

Nefertiri eyed her with distaste. Speaking in private to my priest, what does she want? Nefertiri thought, watching the two.

Anck-su-Namun's hands glided over his face, not quite touching him. Even from her distance she could see that he closed his eyes and breathed heavily. Her own breath caught. He leaned in and soon his lips were on the concubine's, his hands gripping her arms. This holy, righteous man had just broke the law of the Pharaoh.

Nefertiri couldn't believe her eyes. She looked away. You're imagining, she thought. When she looked back they were still locked together. The thoughts in her head jumbled into a heap as she tried to make sense of what she was seeing. Her love, her father, his concubine. Her love and his concubine together. She was alone, watching from a distance, as he broke her heart; and here came her father into the room.

This isn't happening! her mind raced, knowing the life she'd known was about to disintegrate in a few seconds. Her father was going to die and her love was going to leave her.

"Medjai!" she screamed down, "My father needs your help!"

As they ran into the building she saw the flash of a blade, knowing it was buried in her father's flesh. She cried out. It was over now.

My dear, how could you do this to me?

XXX

The Medjai had tracked Imhotep all the way to Hamunaptra, and Nefertiri had asked to see him once more before his death.

He was bound and looked more afraid than she'd ever seen a man. Imhotep was no fool, he knew what was coming for a man like him. Death was at his doorstep yet it wasn't the peaceful darkness most got to have. It meant waiting, in the dark, neither here nor there for eternity. It was the stuff of legends yet it was about to be bestowed upon him.

"My princess." he said softly, the fear in his eyes briefly replaced with a flicker of hope.

"High Priest." she said, and nodded her head. "I have seen everything, so there is no doubt about your guilt. You understand this would not take place if there was any doubt. Not this type of punishment."

He cast his eyes down, suddenly ashamed. "I am sorry to disrespect you, Nefertiri."

"Your disrespect of me is forgiven," she said, "but not of my father."

"What could I do?" he asked, his voice desperate, "Anything. Any fate but this one, my princess, is there anything that could forgive my crime?"

Nefertiri shifted nervously. "You could repay him by marrying me and giving him a male heir. That is what he wanted in life, you can give it to him in death."

Imhotep paused for a moment before he shook his head. "I cannot."

"You cannot? You are facing an eternity walking the Earth as an undead soul and you will not simply love me as I ask of you?"

He glared at her, "You think love is a candle that you and light and blow out all by your own will? It is not princess, and I cannot choose to love you or live a lie with you when there is someone else I love more than life itself."

"Her." she said, hatred in her voice.

"Yes, her. Anck-su-Namun." he said, "My soul burns for her. I could never love you. Now that I have had her there can be no other. I would rather walk this Earth alone with the memory of her than spend a single day with another woman. Give me my fate if you so choose it, but I will never be yours Nefertiri."

"Just try." Nefertiri said, "I have yearned for so long and I am offering you an escape, please, my priest!"

They were both silent, looking at each other, trying to find an answer.

"All these years I loved only you." she said sadly, her hand reaching out to touch his face.

"And I love only her." he said coldly, and her fingers stopped just short of resting on his cheek.

"Then you made a grave mistake." Nefertiri said, drawing her hand away suddenly as if it were close to flame. "You could've had any woman in the kingdom except her, but you couldn't resist. You will pay for it now." she paused and looked away, blinking back the tears in her eyes. "I had second thoughts, but now I realize you deserve this fate. Goodbye Imhotep, I will pity you."

With that she turned on her heels and left. She tried to push his screams of agony out of her head. She'd sealed his doom. She'd condemned him to hell on Earth because he loved another. Part of her was vindicated and part of her cried out for forgiveness.

Now he would know what it was like to burn.

XXX

Reawakening had been torturous for him. He'd been confused, in pain and even still terrified. The last thing he could remember was being placed in a sarcophagus, still alive, bugs crawling all over him. And now here he was, his body ravaged and unrecognizable. He had no clue how many years had passed. The people here wore strange garments and spoke in many strange languages that sounded like utter gibberish to him. They had carts that moved without horses and sticks that shot out tiny balls, yet were far deadlier than arrows. It was all so strange to him.

Then he remembered her. Anck-su-Namun. How he wanted to hold her in his arms! Seti was gone now and finally he could make her his bride. They could be together, they could find a place for themselves in this strange new era.

But she was dead. And he was dead too.

Of course, being the man he was, he could bring her back to life. There were consequences though, and one was to find a suitable mortal body for her to regenerate from.

When he began to seek out those who had awoken him, Imhotep was shocked to see a familiar face. The only woman looked like someone he had known so many millenia ago. Someone whom he had trusted, and whom had hurt him worst of all.

He looked at her. Those familiar eyes. She looked slightly different in this life but there was no mistaking that this was Nefertiri, daughter of his old master Seti I. He'd enjoyed the princess's company when she was only a teenager. She'd been a good girl. She'd been faithful to him once, devoted her love to him and he'd been thankful. But those days were gone forever.

Perhaps if things had been different he would've loved her in that life. Perhaps if he hadn't met Anck-su-Namun he could've found happiness with her - married her, raised a family, died an old man and fulfilled his lifetime correctly. He could've loved her in a way, but knew that his true love, his destiny, was Anck-su-Namun.

I am sorry to disrespect you once more, princess, he thought as he looked her over, but it's better you join your father in the afterlife. I need my lover back. You took her away the first time, so you'll bring her back to me now.

His lover. Imhotep whispered her name, "Anck-su-Namun." as he stroked this new Nefertiri's cheek. He would be with her soon.

Somewhere deep in Evelyn Carnahan's consciousness laid a dormant personality. It was always there but it rarely surfaced. It's memories were to painful to share with this new incarnation. It was tired of pain, of sacrifice and strife. Nefertiri was still alive and well, seeing through this 20th century woman's eyes, happy to be alive once more, even though she desperately missed those she knew in ancient Egypt. Even this man in front of her, decayed and horrifying, was one of those people she'd longer for her entire life but could never identify.

When Nefertiri heard that name on this monster's lips she cringed, crying out into the dark. How many times would this happen? How many lives was she condemned to be wronged by this monster?

For this monster was once her great love, and once more she was passed over in favor of another.