The ABCs of Rivalry
A/N: This story was beta-ed by hes-beauty-hes-jason-grace. It was inspired by a Harry Potter story called 'Look Around', and was posted on Archive of our Own as well.
Disclaimer: Not Rick Riordan. Duh.
Two days after their break-up, Jason wordlessly watches Percy carry the last moving box out of their apartment. Jason's apartment, that they used to share. Not any longer.
They haven't talked for the past two days. As in, not at all. Percy has slept on the couch, and he was always already gone by the time Jason got up. Jason supposes Percy returned every day once Jason was out of the door, because every evening, the apartment looked a little more empty.
'So that's it.'
Jason nods. They haven't acted this cold around each other for years. 'That's it.' He scrutinises Percy. 'Key? Any spare keys?'
Percy snorts. 'You don't even trust me that much anymore, huh?' He pulls out his key – his only key, as Jason dam well knows –, and places it on the kitchen counter, all the while locking eyes with Jason. Then, he turns around, and wordlessly leaves the apartment. The door slams shut.
Letting his gaze wander through the room, Jason thinks that he'll have to redecorate. Over the past year, he has gotten used to seeing Percy's belongings in his apartment. The Finding Nemo poster on the wall is gone, as is the e-piano Percy had bought and never used. The photograph of their friends Percy took a few years ago is missing, and half the cushions on the couch. Jason doesn't think that he could have said which things belonged to Percy if somebody had asked him.
Under the sofa, he finds one of Percy's books. He'll have to send it to him, because there's no way he's going to go after his ex.
One week after Percy left, Annabeth and Piper hold a movie night. Jason has always enjoyed watching movies with his friends, but this time, he doesn't come over. Not if there's any chance that he'll run into Percy. He doesn't go the next week either, when Reyna comes from San Francisco for a visit. His friends are also Percy's friends, and he doesn't want to see Percy.
Two months after Jason ended things, Percy turns up on Jason's doorstep – crying. Jason doesn't think that he has ever seen Percy this devastated, except maybe when his ex-boyfriend had a nightmare about the years he and Sally had to live with Smelly Gabe.
Percy begs Jason to take him back. Pleads. Promises to change everything they fought about if only Jason will have him again.
Jason has imagined a moment like this ever since Percy left. Has wondered what he would say. Has imagined how he would explain Percy why they just don't work out any more. Indulged himself in fantasies how he would, perhaps, be generous and give Percy another chance. But now, he can't even find the power to choke out a word. It's all he can do to shake his head and send Percy away. It's only when the door closes behind Percy – again – that the tears break through, stream down his face; that Jason falls against the door and slides down against it until he is sitting on the floor, unsure whether he is angry at Percy or himself. He has no idea how long he sits there before he decides that he needs to get drunk – a rare occurrence.
Three hours later, he returns, complete and utterly wasted, and punches the bathroom mirror out of frustration. He falls into his bed after he has bandaged his fist, still in his clothes.
When Annabeth invites her friends the next time, Jason goes. Percy isn't there. Jason doesn't ask, because he does not care about Perseus fucking Jackson, but from his friends' conversations, he hears that Percy has left. Travelling the world, Piper says. Not that Jason cares where Percy is. As far as Jason is concerned, Percy can jump off the Empire State Building.
Three months into his new life as a single, Jason sits in a pub he and Percy used to go to, and tries hard to drink himself into oblivion. The barkeeper makes the mistake to ask where Jason's boyfriend is. It's all Jason can do to hold back his anger and say, 'What boyfriend?'
He orders another beer. Two. Then a Whiskey. He'll puke his guts into the toilet tomorrow, but right now, he needs a blissful, alcohol-induced state of ignorance.
Today would have been their anniversary. Not that he cares.
Six month after their break-up, Jason tells Luke Castellan that they're over. They wouldn't have worked out anyway. Luke is eight years older than Jason, he's got a job, and Jason still goes to college. They wouldn't have worked out, so Jason better ends this before he gets too attached. That's why. And if Luke thinks that Jason is still hung up on Percy, then he wisely chooses not to express this opinion, because he is wrong.
Jason watches Luke pack the few of his belongings that are scattered in Jason's apartment into a plastic bag, all the while trying to ban the images of another break-up from his mind. It's for the better that they broke up. He doesn't know to whom 'they' refers right now.
Nonetheless, Jason can't pretend that it doesn't hurt when Luke quietly says that he thinks he could have loved Jason, disappointment twisting the features with the big scar Jason used to trace with his fingers. Jason feels a twinge of regret, and for a moment he considers asking Luke to stay, but he watches him go without saying a word. Lets him go.
Eight months after Jason saw Percy walk out, Jason spends the first Christmas since they met without Percy. Without any of his friends, actually. He hasn't seen them for weeks. He can't tell whether they're still mad at him for his and Percy's falling-out or not. Even Piper, who is as forgiving as anybody can be, and Leo, who doesn't take anything seriously, gave him strange looks the last time he saw them.
But Jason doesn't give a shit, because Jason Grace doesn't need anybody. He has always been strong, a leader, and if he wants to, then he can get along without friends. He doesn't have to rely on anybody, really. But fuck, it hurts to look at the empty spot on the wall where he and Percy hung up their Christmas cards the last year. Grover didn't send one this year – last year, it was more to Percy anyway –, and neither did Rachel. Jason hasn't talked to Annabeth or Reyna for about a month now, and neither of them sent any cards. Leo's Christmas card tried to strangle him – although he is sure that it wasn't Leo's intention –, and Pipers just had one sentence on it.
Well, it isn't as though Jason had sent any cards either.
And one week later, when Jason tries to get drunk on champagne while the rest of the world celebrates 2015, he decides that he won't ever rely on anybody as much as he relied on Percy. If he keeps his distance, then nobody can hurt him.
He doesn't have enough champagne to get seriously drunk.
Thirteen months after Percy returned his key, Jason's girlfriend tells him that if Jason continues to lock himself and his emotions away from her, she'll end their relationship. Jason doesn't think that he's done anything wrong, he's just keeping his distance, but this only serves to upset her further. They break up two weeks later, and once again, Jason watches somebody move their possessions out of his apartment. Their last conversation is frosty, and Jason scolds himself for having gotten too attached once more.
Her black hair reminded him too much of Percy anyway.
Fifteen months after their break-up, Jason gets a birthday card from Percy. It's the first thing he's heard or seen of Percy in over a year, and he'd be lying if he'd say he didn't freeze when he recognised the familiar scrawl on it.
It doesn't say much. Percy wishes that things between them hadn't ended the way they did. He wishes Jason a happy birthday, and he wishes that Jason still has other people to care about him. The card is signed with Love, Percy, and Jason quickly puts the card away after reading it – to keep himself from tearing it apart, or spilling tears onto it, he doesn't know.
The card was sent in Munich, Germany. On the front, it says Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag! Jason has to look it up on the internet to find out that it means Happy Birthday. Attached to it is a small pendant – a souvenir, made of a Euro cent coin, with an image on it. According to Percy, it shows the Deutsches Museum – as Percy writes, a place full with decades of old history – sure Annabeth would love it!
One month later, Jason pays Annabeth a visit, and – since she presumably has Percy's address – pleads her to forward his own birthday card to Percy. He didn't write much, either, but it's the gesture that counts. Annabeth promises to do so. She doesn't bring up how much Jason has isolated himself from his former friends.
Under his shirt, Jason wears the pendant Percy sent him.
Seventeen months after Percy walked out of Jason's apartment, Percy sends a letter with a photograph of himself in front of the coliseum. Percy looks good, but what catches Jason's eye is the handsome stranger around whose shoulders Percy has put his arm. Percy writes that he is a friendly young man named Andreas, who is travelling the same direction as Percy.
Jason ends up tearing the image apart, only to burst into tears, and glue it back together.
He punches his mirror, angry at himself, because he is still jealous when somebody touches 'his' Percy. He has given up the right to call Percy 'his' seventeen months, four days, and eight hours ago. Not that he is counting.
Afterwards, Jason has to bandage his fist once more.
Twenty months after Jason gave up the best thing he had ever had, Percy stands in front of Jason's door when Jason steps out (he almost suffers a heart attack). Percy confesses that he has been standing there for ten minutes, unsure whether he should knock after Jason made it quite clear that he wasn't welcome here anymore. Jason was originally going to go over to Piper, but he ends up inviting Percy into his apartment.
They manage a civil conversation for at least two hours. Percy tells about his travels, in the childishly excited way Jason had once grown to love. Jason listens while Percy recounts his journey through Asia, Africa, and Europe.
Percy repeats his apology in person. Jason can't bring himself to apologise as well. Percy is hurt, Jason can tell, but he doesn't comment on it.
Jason then makes the mistake to ask about the 'Andreas' guy on the photo.
Percy doesn't say that he has feelings for the guy, or slept with him, but Jason can figure it out anyway when he sees the way Percy perks up at the mention of the other man. According to Percy, his new friend will come to the US in a few weeks, and what Percy doesn't say but implies is that he hopes to take their relationship to the 'dating' stage.
In the end, Jason claims that he has to pee, just so he can escape to the bathroom and calm down until he doesn't feel like murdering somebody any more.
Two and a half months plus four days later, Percy turns up on Jason's doorstep again. They have met a few times in the meantime, when their friends (are they still Jason's friends? He hasn't talked to them more than a dozen times this year) met for whatever reason, and each time, they have managed to behave. And if there's one thing Jason knows, then it's that Percy never drinks more than one or two glasses.
Yet here Percy is, looking like he has cried, and definitely drunk. Jason lets him in, and before too long, Percy is pouring his heart out. Jason can't help the spark of glee when he hears that Percy's not-boyfriend has found someone else during the three months he travelled without Percy. Nonetheless, he tries to comfort Percy, but without the (physical) closeness they used to have, there's only so much Jason can do.
Jason says, 'I'm sorry', and 'He doesn't know what he's missing out on', and a million other things meant to be reassuring. It only serves to make Percy cry again.
A few hours later, Percy falls asleep on Jason's couch. Jason scoops Percy up and carries him into the bedroom. And if Jason's back hurts the next morning, because he slept on the couch, then he doesn't say anything.
The next day, Jason apologises for what he has said and done almost two years ago. It's a little late, he knows that, and maybe during breakfast isn't the best moment, especially not since Percy is recovering from a hell of a hangover. But Jason apologises.
He brings it up while he makes pancakes – blue, of course.
'Remember when we broke up?'
Not the best way to start the conversation, if the way Percy grimaces is anything to go by.
'I want to take back what I said, Perce.' Now Jason has Percy's attention. 'I shouldn't have said any of it, and I want to take it back.'
Percy eyes Jason suspiciously. Jason can't blame him for it.
'Everything?'
Jason nods. 'Everything.' He doesn't remember all of it, but apparently, Percy does, because for the next few minutes, he does nothing but recall everything Jason said. It starts easy.
'You said I was clingy.'
Jason shakes his head. 'You're not.'
'Overly annoying?'
'No.'
'And that I would never grow up?'
'I take it back.'
'That nobody could ever stand me?'
'Everybody likes you.'
It's a long list. When they get to the more mean parts, Jason wishes for the ground to open up and swallow him. But he has said it, and now he will take it back.
'You said you hated me, take that back?'
'Especially that.'
'That you only slept with me out of pity?'
Jason winces. 'Even more.'
'That you didn't love me?'
Jason takes a deep breath. 'I did. Back then and while you were gone.' Under his breath he adds, 'Don't think I ever stopped.'
There. He has said it.
And Percy has heard it, because he lets his jaw drop and stares at Jason like he's grown a third arm.
Percy whispers, 'I wish you hadn't said that,' and gone he is.
Jason's fist is getting used to shards of glass stuck in it. He'll probably scar his knuckles.
He doesn't buy a new one this time. He'll just punch it again.
Twenty-four months minus one day after Jason sent away the one person most important to him, Percy quietly knocks on the door of Jason's apartment. Jason wordlessly lets him inside, mind replaying the several times Percy walked through this door since he came back. As he waits for Percy to say something, Jason clenches his fists, because he doesn't trust his hands not to shake.
'You scared me, you know. When you said it.'
Jason tries to look apologetically. 'I'm sorry.'
Percy shakes his head. 'I am sorry. I shouldn't have run away just because I was scared. But –' He makes a pause and shrugs helplessly. 'It was just too much to deal with, I guess. Sorta came out of the left field.'
Jason opens his mouth to say something – what, he doesn't know –, when Percy frowns. 'What happened to your hands?'
Jason hides his hands in his pockets. 'Nothing.'
Percy doesn't buy it. Even after two years apart, Percy can read him like an open book, Jason thinks. He sighs. 'I may or may not have punched the bathroom mirror.' He pauses for a moment before he adds, 'Thrice.'
Percy gasps, and Jason thinks, really, it isn't that much of a deal.
Then Percy deadpans, 'I liked the old mirror, you know.'
Without thinking, Jason replies, 'I'll buy you a new one.'
Jason wants to scold himself, because why did he say that, when Percy says, 'Us.'
Confused, Jason turns around. Percy shuffles his feet, and then he says, 'If you're okay with it… then maybe we could buy us a new mirror?'
It takes Jason a few moments to catch up on what Percy is saying, and when he understands, he stutters, 'You mean –'
And Percy nods.
'I think I've never stopped either.'
Going to bed with Percy again is great, but waking up in Percy's arms is far better.
It has been exactly two years since Jason told Percy that this is the end.
One week into their new relationship, they carry Percy's belongings into Jason's apartment for the second time in four years. Annabeth takes Jason aside and makes it clear that the next time he breaks up with Percy, she'll make sure Reyna scatters his remnants all the way between New York and San Francisco. And since Jason has a great deal of respect for Annabeth's girlfriend – 3,000 miles' distance or not –, he promises that he won't let his second chance go to waste as well.
Not that he needed her 'encouragement', because Jason shall be damned if he ever lets Percy go again.
A/N: I couldn't resist bringing a bit of Jason/Luke into this. Also, "Das Deutsche Museum" (The German Museum) in Munich is the world's largest museum of science and technology, so I figured Percy would think Annabeth would like it.