Born To Die Chapter 1: Dark Paradise, a hunger games fanfic

My eyes shoot open at the whimpers coming from the monitor. I shake Peeta gently to go check on Rye and hoping it's fast enough that his whimpers don't wake up Cerise knowing how she behaves she'll be extremely difficult in the morning. Effie won't be happy if we're late again. Peeta's eyes shoot open and he looks afraid.

"Katniss, what's wrong? Another nightmare," Peeta asks startled.

I slowly shake my head and say, "No, it's just that Rye woke and it's your turn to put him back to sleep."

"Oh," replies Peeta, "just go back to sleep, my love. I'll take care of this don't worry he is probably having a nightmare because Cerise scared him with one of her many creative stories."

I nod my head and he leaves. I still can't believe that it's been six years since our games and so much has changed. President Snow came over before the Victory Tour to warn Peeta and I that we started something between the districts. He warned us that we had to do something and quench the small fire of revolution that we had created. After the cruelty that we saw in District 11, I freaked out and Peeta conformed me reminding of the fire that I felt within me when we kissed in the cave. By the end of the tour when we reached the Capitol it was discovered that I had gotten pregnant, Peeta proposed and we announced the news of my pregnancy. Snow was ecstatic he made sure that Peeta and I got married right before we left the Capital.

Snow brought our families and friends. Magde was my maid of honor while Rye was Peeta's best man. Snow forced as many victors to be a part of our wedding. The whole night was all for the Capitol. Even though the wedding was more of a show for the pleasure of the Capitol. Peeta and I had a toasting just for ourselves, making the night just for us. We continued to be in the eyes of the Capitol through my whole pregnancy that sent gifts after gifts, though they were upset that we decided to keep the sex of the baby a secret. When it was time for the birth we were surprised when I gave birth that I ended up giving birth to two babies.

I gave birth to two beautiful twins Rye Stark Mellark and Cerise Rae Mellark. The two were just like the sun and moon. Cerise had blue eyes with a hint of blue and dark brown hair, a little version of me; while Rye just turned out to be a small version of both Peeta and Rye. Cerise and Rye are both the light in my life other then Peeta and I am grateful for that. I am happy that I have Peeta in my life I've seen how Johanna, Finnick, and all the other desirable victors live their lives. I swear if I had to live a life like that I would've turned out like Haymitch or the Morphlings from six.

The Capital has kept their watchful eyes on us since our games; I was six months pregnant during the Quell. The Quell was announced the next they after my wedding and it was decried that one family member of a Victor would enter with a normal tribute. I am sure it was Snow's way of implying that he still has power on all the Victors' lives. Rye, Peeta's brother ended up going along with a poor Seam girl. Rye ended up being the winner of the Quell and with him being the winner the Capitol still had access to our lives. The Capitol loves Rye he has become their new toy, luckily he was charming as Peeta so he got away with so many things,like declaring his love for Madge on his final interview and her pregnancy.

President Snow loved the idea for some weird political reason and made Rye and Madge get married right before his Victory Tour. It turns out that they really had a thing for each other so things weren't as awkward as mine are and Peeta's wedding. Since their marriage they had a cute little girl named Lulu making her Mrs. Mellark's favorite grandchild being full merchant and a girl. This at times makes me jealous but she also loves my kids as I gave her, her first granddaughter.

I shiver as I feel a touch on my shoulder I turn to see Peeta. His eyes shine worriedly I hate that. The games have made it impossible for me to live a normal life for me to actually enjoy anything. It's been nearly six years since our games and we both get nightmares. The twins have started asking about us screaming at night and we tell them that it's just nightmares we tell them that we see monsters. My children believe it for now but I am afraid when the time comes and they will no longer accept that as an answer. They're growing up and learning about the same world they live in but right now they're too innocent to fully understand it. For now they believe that the games are like these old games where countries would get together and compete in sports with their best of the best.

"Katniss, love I know you're tired but Rye wants to hear you sing," says Peeta holding Rye in his arms.

"Mommy, I had a nightmare like you, could you please sing for me. I like Daddy's singing but your singing comforts me," says Rye rubbing his eyes. His blue eyes were begging me to comfort him and I cave in to his request.

I stand on my knees on the bed and take him from Peeta and lay him right next me while Peeta lays on the other side. I close my eyes and start humming. The words soon enough come out.

"All my friends tell me I should move on
I'm lying in the ocean singing your song
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ahhh
That's how you sang it
Loving you forever can't be wrong
Even though you're not here, won't move on
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ahhh
That's how we played it

And there's no remedy for memory your face is
Like a melody, it won't leave my head
Your soul is haunting me and telling me that everything is fine
But I wish I was dead

Every time I close my eyes, it's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side
Every time I close my eyes, it's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side

All my friends ask me why I stay strong
Tell 'em when you find true love, it lives on
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ahhh
That's why I stay here

And there's no remedy for memory, your face is like a melody
It won't leave my head
Your soul is holding me and telling me that everything is fine
But I wish I was dead

Oh-oh-oh-oh-hah-hah-hah-hah.
I don't want to wake up from this tonight
Oh-oh-oh-oh-hah-hah-hah-hah.
I don't want to wake up from this tonight

There's no relief, I see you in my sleep
And everybody's rushing me, but I can feel you touching me
There's no release, I feel you in my dreams
Telling me I'm fine

Every time I close my eyes, it's like a dark paradise No one compares to you
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side Every time I close my eyes, it's like a dark paradise. No one compares to you
But there's no you, except in my dreams tonight

Oh-oh-oh-oh-hah-hah-hah-hah
I don't want to wake up from this tonight
Oh-oh-oh-oh-hah-hah-hah-hah
I don't want to wake up from this tonight"

I turn to see that Rye is sound asleep and Peeta is just looking at me with so much love.

"Katniss, love that was beautiful. I swear if I die the last thing I want to ever hear is your beautiful voice," says Peeta.

"Peeta don't ever say that I don't know what I would ever do without you," I practically whisper yell.

Peeta chuckles only making me scowl. He continues to chuckle and I smack his arm making sure that doesn't wake up Rye. Peeta then moves his hands up declaring defeat.

"Katniss, you know if I didn't know you better and you didn't respond like that all the time, I'd think that you're all hormonal" he jokes lightly.

My eyes go wide as it's been awhile since I last got my period. Since I've given birth to the twins my period turned regular because I no longer suffered from malnutrition. Katniss think I say to myself when was the last time I had my period, okay we're in June and the last time was in January. So that means about four to five months ago if my calculations are correct.

Peeta shakes me pulling me away from my mind and says, "Katniss you're scaring me please tell me what's going on in that mind of yours."

"Do you remember when was the last time I had my period," I ask him nervously.

Automatically Peeta replies looking a little confused, "Umm I think it was the third week of January."

Peeta then freezes as he comes to the same realization that I had. I see his eyes glimmer in the moonlight and I know he is happy. He puts his hand under my chin and kisses me softly as if I were a porcelain doll.

He then pulls away and says, "Katniss that's wonderful. We are going to have another child, another Mellark."

I smile knowing that I have made him happy. Now that I think about it the twins will be extremely happy they've been asking for a little brother or sister since Madge gave birth to Lulu. They see Lulu more as a little sister more than a cousin. I am sure the twins will enjoy the news that they'll pass out from happiness.

"I know, I know the twins will love the idea," I reply happily.

Peeta just kisses my forehead and says, "Well like Effie says we got a big, big day tomorrow so we need to sleep."

"But I don't want to sleep."

"Katniss, we need to sleep you're going to regret it in the morning," he says.

I don't realize till now that I am tired. I let a yawn out and give him a small kiss. Sleep soon takes over my body.

The sound of Cerise yelling wakes me up. I notice that I am the only one in the bed, hearing the shower running and hearing the twins running around. As I am getting up from my bed I feel two little small hands on my legs. I turn around to look Rye hugging my leg. I pick him up and say, "What's wrong blondie locks?"

He hides his face on my hair and says, "Cerise bite me again and she's coming after me. Mommy please hide me.'

I hear Cerise come running to my room and yells, "Mommy I don't know what is is talking about I just want to give him a hug."

"Yes, you did, see you already bit me," says Rye pointing at a bite mark on his wrist.

I stare at Cerise and she quivers.

"He deserved it because he bit my cheese bun after he ate all of his," replies Cerise in a very grumpy voice.

I shake my head at my four year old twins fighting over food again. This is all Peeta's fault I know their heartache over cheese buns. While I was pregnant with them all I ate was cheese buns.

The shower seems to have stopped and Peeta comes out. We all stare at him and I say, "You sir are in a lot of trouble"

Peeta just stares at me wide eyes and asks, "What did I do. I was in the shower and I heard yelling."

"Well mister you have caused another fight between the twins. Rye bit of off Cerise's last cheese and Cerise has been coming after Rye. She apparently already bit him again."

"Yeah, daddy you're in big trouble," say Rye.

Cerise sighs and says, "Rye leave daddy alone. Daddy they're being mean to me."

Peeta picks up Cerise and kisses her forehead. He looks at me and Rye says,"Rye you know you can't be eating other people's food," he turns to Cerise and says, "What did I tell you about biting."

Cerise the tries her best puppy eyes look and says, "Umm it's not my fault that Rye was being selfish. I don't understand why I get to share everything when he takes my stuff."

Hearing her reply reminds me how grown up Cerise really is, she was the one to get Peeta's gift with words. She loves to use her gift to get her way. I give her a warning look and she turns to look at Peeta. She really has her Peeta under her control.

Peeta shakes his head and says all commando, "Everybody stop arguing over food, remember today is an important day and we have to be ready and be at the square at noon. So Cerise, Rye no more fighting or you guys will not get any cheese buns for a week. Katniss get dressed."

Cerise and Rye jump out of our arms and leave murmuring how much they don't like each other for getting the other in trouble. That's when I notice that they are both already wearing their matching outfit for the reaping. Cerise was in a cute little high low mint dress with a pretty tea rose orange bow tied on her waist, while Rye was wearing khakis and a mint button up shirt and tea rose handkerchief. Cinna out did himself again to make my children look unforgettable, but then I remember why he did that. It's all for the Capitol.

I rush to Peeta and give him a hug. I hide my face on his neck and Peeta's arms automatically wrapped around shielding me from my fears. Peeta mumbles comforting words as if already knowing what I am fearing. The kids are growing up pretty fast and soon they'll eligible for the reaping Victors kids' always go into the arena. We know Snow still isn't happy with us about the berries. He was upset that in the Quell things didn't go as planned and Rye came out alive. We know he will want to get us back and what better way to than to take away our children.

Peeta pulls away from me and says, "Katniss, I know that you don't like this day at all, trust me I don't either. But it's time for you to get dressed."

"I don't want too, I just want to stay in bed," I mumbled.

Peeta chuckles, "We'll if you get ready I have a tray of cheese buns just for you."

"That's not fair you're trying to bribe me."

"We'll did it work," he asks.

I nod my head and head to the shower. I move as fast as possible knowing that Effie would hate it if we were late to the reaping and we would never hear the end of it.

My shower is a blur I quickly get out and put on a high waist tutu skirt that's a soft pearl white & a button up baby blue long-sleeved top, with some flats. As I look at myself in the mirror I notice my small bump on my stomach barely noticeable unlike the twins. Like always Cina knows before me seeing me clothes that fits me perfectly and hissing my bump.

I walk downstairs and see that Cerise and Rye are playing with dolls with Lulu who is wearing the same color dress as Cerise except her blonde hair and blue eyes setting them apart. I feel strong arms circle around me and I can tell these aren't Peeta's. I turn around to find Rye hugging me and then Madge joins along. I just stand there not knowing what's going on.

From the kitchen we hear Peeta say for them to get off. As they pull away I see them wearing the same thing as me and Peeta except that Rye and Madge are wearing a lilac shirt. Peeta then comes out of the kitchen with a tray of cheese buns for me. The aroma fills the room and I hear Rye and Cerise say yum. I take a bun from the tray and I devour it. I groan feeling satisfied and I hear the twins complain how none of the cheese buns are for them.

I finish the rest and drink a glass of milk. Madge takes the glass from me and say, "Peeta told us the news. I am so happy for you guys. I thought I would be the one to get pregnant again before you."

"Well thanks Madge. I just can't believe that I didn't notice that I've missed my period for so long," I reply honesty.

"Well you've been busy teach the kids skills for the games, then you've been taking care of Haymitch," she replies.

"So how are you feeling today since you know this being Prim's final year and all?"

"I haven't thought about it actually, late I've been more worried with the twins and teaching at the school that I've completely forgotten about Prim and the games."

"It's very understandable, I mean Lulu isn't even eligible yet and Rye and I have nightmares that she gets picked. But then we wake up and realize that she is okay. Well do you think Snow is really going to risk it and have Prim selected?"

"I really don't know the games have been keeping the Capitol happy and he hasn't asked us to distract the districts. So I am guessing that she is good."

"But just asking do you think she has a chance of winning?"

I think about it for a moment, since Peeta and I won and the Quell was announced we've had all of all relatives that are eligible for the games to train. Prim up to this point is a fast runner, good with knives, and has her knowledge with plants. Really if she were to get picked the Capitol would love it and hate it. She would get all the attention and sponsors. Prim would make it home.

That's kind of selfish to think but the thing is that's the truth. Last year when Kitty our tribute nearly died I thought it was Prim instead. I had a meltdown in the Victors' launch and Johanna calmed me down. One because she couldn't stand my screaming and two because she actually likes Prim.

Since then I've been working so hard making sure that we bring a tribute home. I am tired of everybody dying and us not being able to not do anything and just watch. From what we've taught the the teens eligible for reaping most of them are good swimmers, some of them are as good as Finnick who came twice to help us teach.

I sigh knowing that it is really hard teaching all the eligible kids skills for the games. We haven't had a winner since Rye and the closest we've come to another winner was last year. Peeta and I managed to convince President Snow to allow us to build a pool behind our backyard. Since then we have been using it to teach the kids to swim and last year Kitty a girl from town managed to make it to the final three. The game makers thought it would be good to flood the arena from time to time. Kitty being able to swim made it so far until one of the tributes from four broke her neck. It was a sad tragic death as we were about to bring home a winner.

I feel someone link their hand to mine and says, "Come on Kat we have to be in the square in five minutes. Effie is outside in the car waiting for us."

I quickly make my way to the car grabbing Rye's hand we we all manage to get into the car. Peeta sits next to me with Cerise sitting on my lap and Effie sitting next to him. Haymitch just nods at all of us and looks at the window. Effie counts all of us in the car and tells the driver to drive. She looks at me and says, "Katniss thanks for making us late, again."

I roll my eyes and reply, "You're welcome Effie but you try calming down a crying kid from a nightmare."

Effie just shakes her head and looks at the twins and says, "I hope y'all didn't leave your mom up all night because when she doesn't get enough sleep she forgets about manners."

That comment makes Rye, Peeta, and Haymitch to chuckle. I just scowl only getting Effie to remind me about manners. We all get out the car and go up stage. The kids go and sit down next to Madge who sits next to her father. Rye, Peeta, Haymitch, and I all sit next to each other on the other side of the stage.

Soon enough we've gotten through the usual protocol and Effie says, "Happy Hunger Games and may the odds be ever in your favor. And now for the girls," Effie moves her hand through the bowl and pulls out a name. I pray that it isn't Prim this is her last year and Snow's last chance to get back at me. Effie unfolds the piece of paper and says, "This year's female tribute Lena Rodriguez."

Out in the crowd we see a short blonde in a soft pink dress making her way to the stage. I know this girl she is one of the best in plants and medical class that we teach. She is the daughter of my mother's brother the one who now runs the apothecary. She gets up on stage and stands right in front of us. The crow looks unmoved but I know most of them are happy that it isn't their kids going to the games. It's sick to think that people are happy out of others misery. I could imagine what her father must be feeling.

As I keep looking at the crowd I see my mother approaching Lena's parents. The blonde couple is down on the ground trying to comfort one another. It irks me that my mother is the type of person who would forgive anyone whose done her wrong. Her brother turned her back on her when she chose my father like the rest of the town. I don't understand how she can forgive him.

Effie moves quick on welcoming to the stage. She asks for a volunteer but nothing. The whole square is dead silenced. Effie then puts hand in the other bowl moving it as fast as she can and she pulls out piece of paper. I look out into the emotionless crowd and just hope that I can return with one of the tributes. Effie again unfolds the piece of paper and reads out, "and this year's male tribute Julian Windburn."

A tall pale guy with brown hair walkout of the eighteen years old. I know these type of kids seam women giving into Merchant men desire. He must be one of the many bastard children left to seam women to take care of. He walks emotionless to the stage turning around to look at what I assume is his mother and little siblings. He walks straight up and stands on the other side of Effie.

Effie just looks at both of the two tributes and says, "May I present you your tributes for the eightieth annual Hunger Games Lena Rodriguez and Julian Windburn now shake hands."

Lena and Julian look uncomfortable but they shake hands. I see Lena shed a tear and then the Peacekeepers separate them and take them into the Justice Building.

Soon reporters come up stage and swarm us all asking questions. But the most common one heard is how is the Mellark family. I should've remembered that we would've have to talk to them here and when we get off in the Capitol. We should this over with now or they'll ambush us at the train station.

As always Peeta is the first to speak up saying, "Well the Mellark family is doing good we're all excited to go back to the Capitol for the games."

Rye picks up from there saying, "Yeah we have a feeling that these games are going to be very interesting."

"Speaking of interesting Katniss how do you feel that your cousin was selected for these years games and that Prim has lost all possibilities of going to the games," ask one of the many random colorful reporters.

I freeze wondering how they've managed to figure out that were related. Lena doesn't go by my mom's old last name but by her mother's last name. I swear these reporters never stop to amaze me with all the information they get. If only they used that ability to dig up all the corruption from Snow's government.

I turn to Peeta and he nods at me as if reassuring me that whatever I say would be a good answer. "Well Lena and I aren't that close because of our age differs but she is close to Prim. I know that Lena is gifted and she would make District twelve proud. From the times I've spent in school I know I can tell you she is a very brave girl just like her tribute partner."

"Well if you had to pick between the two of them who would you chose as the winner," one of the reporters shouts.

"I would choose the one who proves themselves to be a worthy victor.

The reporters seem to be pleased with my answer. Soon Peacekeepers escort us back to our car the kids and Madge following along. But before we get off stage I hear someone calling my name. I turn to see who it is and I see my Prim, my mother, and her brother climb up stage.

Prim rushes to me and gives me a hug which I return. She pulls away and my mother soon replaces her place. She quickly pulls away and says, "Katniss this is your uncle Kaleb and he'd like to ask you something."

My uncle a tall, blonde who looks really tired says, "Katniss, I know that I haven't been in your guys' life, but I'm here not beg you that you bring back my girl. I know that I don't deserve to ask for anything but please bring her back. You're a parent too so you should understand what I'm going through. Please help her win."

I'm at shock at his request. He is right he has no right to ask for anything, but I can't help it but to feel sorry for him. Looking around at the twins and remembering my nightmares I know what he is going through but I can't give him false hopes.

"I'll try my best, but I can't promise you anything the district needs a winner and at the end of the day that's who we'll help," I reply.

Kaleb nods his head and says "I understand."

He and my mother walk away with Prim following behind. Cerise comes besides me and asks, "Mommy who was that man crying?"

"That was your uncle grandpa," I reply taking her hand and following the Peacekeepers.

The car soon drives off and Haymitch just groans and finds a bottle of white wine in the car and just drinks straight out of the bottle. Effie just sighs and reminds about manners. The twins giggle saying that grandma and grandpa are going to make up later by kissing. This causes for Rye and Peeta to burst out laughing. Effie shoots the deadliest glare she could muster up at the twins. Then Cerise says, "Rye leave grandma and grandpa alone it's not their fault they forget about manners."

Everybody in the car laughs and soon enough the doors to the car open. I grab Rye while Peeta grabs Cerise, we make our way to the train with Madge and Rye following along with Lulu. I look around seeing the avoxes bring us hot chocolate and giving the kids cheese buns. Effie begins running down our schedule.

We all sit down in the dining room and we all listen to everything has to say. The list goes on and on until I hear Caesar Flickerman.

"Wait are we having an interview with Cesar, I thought Maxon last year's winner would have the first interview with him," I asked worriedly because I know now that the kids can talk better than the average four-year-old. They are finally understanding the world and they're getting close to understanding in reality how cruel it is.

"Well Cesar wants all the Mellarks and to get an update on how you guys are, you know the same old same," says Effie in her most enthusiastic voice.

"Don't you think that maybe he should be interviewing Maxon instead of us I mean we won six years ago. Then Rye won five years ago. I thought that the latest victor would get all the attention in the world," I say nervously.

Effie just ignores my comments and walks out of the dining room. Haymitch follows knowing he is going to have to fix this or we're all going to suffer for this in the morning. But before leaving staring back at us saying, "Sweetheart you should know by now that you'll never get what you want. You live the luxury life of a victor and the fact that you gave 'em something to root for, they'll always want you around."

Everybody just stares at me and I groan. I don't want any attention. The room is left in an awkward silence. The thing is even after all these years I just hoped that the Capitol gets sick and tired of us. I mean they get a new victor year after year, j just hoped that their lives' would be more interesting to the Capitol.

The silence continues until we hear Effie shriek knowing her it could be from many different reasons.

As she enters again behind her are Haymitch and these year's tributes. They both look look ready for a fight. They look at us and sit on the love seat across from everyone else. They both look nervous but they look determined to come back out alive. I just hope that that determination stays with them and that the odds are finally in our favor.

They sit there and stare but it isn't till Julian speaks that catches the attention of everybody. He then repeats again, "How do you guys plan on bringing one of us back? Cause so far the closest you've come to a winner was Kitty last year. We all saw how even trying to train us like Careers has worked for nothing."

I remembered Kitty she was one of the best swimmers that we had. Her parents being merchant and all had access to food so she was better fed than our other tribute Alistar. Alistair died in the bloodbath after he tried to get some knives even though we told him to stay away from the Cornucopia. He was cocky believing that all the years in participating in track would pay off. But it didn't he wasn't enough for the knife throwing skills from the careers. He got a knife to his neck and died pretty quick.

We all look at each other knowing that this year we might just have a winner. We'll make sure that these tributes listen to us we won't make the same mistakes we did with Kitty and Alistar. Haymitch laughs and replies, "By making y'all likeable to the Capitol."

They both look at all of us as if we told them the most stupidest thing ever. This only causes for Haymitch to laugh and say, "Eh, not the answer you were looking for pretty boy. You see the games are made up by two things skills and popularity. You see that's the only reason Katniss, Peeta, and Rye ever won. Cause they were smart enough to be liked. Actually Katniss was liked because of the actions of the people around her that were liked. I think if had she truly let her true ice cold queen attitude out for the Capitol to see them they would've preferred her cat Buttercup over her."

This causes for Rye to burst out laughing. Lena and Julian look at him like he is crazy. I don't understand what's funny that cat compare to me is very hateful. Madge just elbows him on his stomach to stop him. He let's out a groan and quiets down before looking at me and sticking his tongue out at me.

"What do you mean we have to get the Capitol to like us, don't they already like us for being in the games," Lena speaks up for the first time very nervously.

"Well you see the Capitol loves drama and anyone that they consider that could possibly become one of them. Why do you think they love the careers so much it's because they always have the skills and know how to give 'em a show. Rye here won because a, he had skills and good looks and b, he was related to the famous star-crossed lovers. Then when he added that he had a girl back home that the Capital already knew they pretty much wanted for him to win. Rye was everything they want in a victor someone with good looks but can also give 'em a show."

Rye interrupts, "So tell us, do you think you know the games?"

Both look at us wide eyes not knowing what to say. I guess they must of thought the games are just a salvation from hunger, but in reality you're losing your freedom to the Capitol. They still don't understand they'll understand when we get to the Capitol and they see people come and stare at them like they're some type of exhibit at a museum. I know how the Capitol loves they're exhibits the most popular one till this day is mine and Peeta's arena. I remembered when we were forced there for the grand opening thousands and thousands showed up. That was one of the worst day of our lives luckily the kids have never seen it but they heard about it last time we came when one of our many "fans" brought it up.

Julian again speaks up for both of them and asks, "How do we won these games then? Do you guys at least remember."

We all look at each other and reply, "By staying alive."

I hope you guys like this story. It's been on my mind for quite a while since I reread the trilogy. Follow, review, or fave if you want me to continue. Okay so in my time line the games happen in June.