Pen Name: PTBvisiongrrl
Story Title: The Letter
Summary: Short. Somebody writes a letter about Stephanie, and signs Ranger's name...
Story Rating: PG (mild language)
Status: Complete
Genre: Humor/Romance
Couple: Stephanie and Ranger (implied)
Spoilers: through TBO
Tired after an especially long and busy day- three skips, none of whom went easily, and a redecorating gig at the crack of dawn- Ranger settled onto his sofa and sighed. He cracked open a Corona, took a long drink, and reached for a magazine from his coffee table. He was wound up and exhausted at the same time, and knew it would be a while before he could sleep. He had briefly considered breaking into Stephanie's and watching her sleep, but had changed his mind on the way there. Stephanie had been hanging around with Morelli again, and Ranger just didn't want to deal with it tonight.
Reaching into the pile for the latest Soldier of Fortune (not his choice of reading material, but you have to keep up with your professional field), Ranger scanned the table of contents for anything of mild interest. There were the usual articles, about hot spots and the latest weapons, but "The Sexiest Woman Bounty Hunters in America" caught his eye. Stephanie flashed in his mind, and he pushed her image away. Determined to keep it from returning, he turned to the article.
The article did nothing to keep Stephanie out of his head. Her picture was plastered across two glossy pages, dressed for a distraction job he couldn't immediately remember, under a huge banner exclaiming, "Hottest Women in Bond Enforcement." Ranger tore his eyes away from the very sexy picture- Stephanie's long legs looked like they went on forever in that short skirt, and the tank top left very little to the imagination- to scan the actual article.
Each of the ten women whose pictures appeared had been 'nominated' by a friend or co-worker- that meant, the man had sent in her picture and a letter about the woman. There were very few men who would have had access to a picture of Stephanie dressed to kill for one of his distraction jobs- and none of them were stupid enough to do this, or so he thought. Ranger quickly focused in on the letter about Stephanie. The letter was very complimentary- not just about her looks, but also about how she did her job:
Stephanie Plum is a new bounty hunter, but she's racked up an impressive resume. Her usual job is bond enforcement, but she does other types of security work as well. Her specialty is distraction. Take a look at her, and you'll understand why. See her in action, and be amazed. She's as smart and funny as she is stunning. Her first distraction job, she had to be pretty inventive to keep the guy busy. My favorite line was "Thursday is our group sex night." She even hung on through a surprise appearance by her stalker- an ex-champion boxer.
Stephanie is persistent. She has never failed to capture an FTA, even her first assignment- which was to bring in a veteran vice cop accused of murder. She gets them all- from every level of Family to the bag lady at the bus terminal. And she does whatever she needs to get the job done. She's been in an explosion, had multiple cars burn, had her apartment fire-bombed, been kidnapped and tortured, and shot more than once. She's even lived with a contract out on her life, placed by a very dangerous street gang. Yet she still keeps doing her job. The local papers started calling her "The Bombshell Bomber Hunter," after her first car exploded, but I think the description fits her for an entirely different reason.
Above the letter but to the right of the picture were Stephanie's "Stats." Her previous job as a lingerie buyer was highlighted ("Talk about sexy and dangerous!"), as well as her measurements and age. Her employer was listed, too- as RangeMan Enterprises. Ranger quickly flicked his eyes to the bottom of the letter, where the letter writer's first name was listed.
Ranger spent about five seconds dumb-founded before seriously annoyed. He knew he hadn't written that letter. So who had written it and signed his name? He reached for his cell, not caring what time of night or morning it was, determined to find out which of his men was the smart-ass. Then he happened to see the prize Steph had won- a thousand dollars and a year's subscription to the magazine. He closed his eyes and mentally cursed.
The call was picked up on the first ring. "Lester!" he growled. "Did you write a letter about Stephanie?" A groggy Santos quickly woke up, the tone of Ranger's voice cutting through sleep. He hadn't a clue what Ranger was talking about, and told him so. Ranger had the same experience calling Bobby. That left one person- the one that Ranger would have least suspected in something like this.
"You son-of-a-bitch!" Ranger yelled as soon as Tank picked up his cell.
Tank chuckled, not the least bit intimidated. "Steph really was the best one of the bunch, Ric."
"I can't believe that you did this!" Ranger ran his hands through his hair roughly, agitated. "She's gonna see this!"
"That would be the point, Ranger." Tank's voice held his smile. "About time she got a clear hint form you about how you feel."
"But I didn't write this, which she is either never going to be believe, or she's going to be really, REALLY pissed that someone else did." Ranger stopped his tirade for a minute, distracted by Stephanie looking sultrily up at him. "Where did you get the picture?"
Another Tank chuckle. "Did you ever notice that our cell phones are also picture phones, Ranger? I can get a print of it for you, if you like."
Just then, Ranger's cell phone chirped another incoming call. Tank took the opportunity to hang up on Ranger quickly. "Better answer that. Could be Stephanie!"
Ranger gritted his teeth, then hit the button. "Yo."
"Yo yourself, Ranger. There's something I want to talk to you about..." Stephanie began.