Miss Stephenie Can, a twilight fanfic

MISS STEPHENIE CAN

And we're back to the anti-Twilight musicals. Hey, I'm only telling it like it is. There are much heavier-handed critics out there who have much more choice words for Miss Meyer and her infamous series. (Even Anne Rice, another vampire author, hates "Twilight".) Anyway, this goes to the tune of "The Candy Man Can", for those of you who are familiar with Willy Wonka.

Original Song © Leslie Bricusse and Anthony Newley

Twilight © Stephenie Meyer (as if!)

Lyrics © unicorn-skydancer08

Who can take a vampire,
Change him to a wimp?
Turn some weird teenage girl
Into some pathetic gimp?

Miss Stephenie
Miss Stephenie can
Miss Stephenie can, 'cause she mixes it with mush
And makes it all sound good

Who takes a thesaurus,
Chops it into bits?
Makes the main characters
A bunch of idiots?

Miss Stephenie?

Miss Stephenie!
Miss Stephenie can
Miss Stephenie can, 'cause she mixes it with mush
And makes it all sound good

Not to inspire spite,
But what Miss Meyer writes
It's nauseating and outrageous
This crazy craze is contagious
And the fangirls are malicious

Who can take a story
That turns the brain to goo?
Flaunts it right and left
Till we're all just Looney Tunes?

Miss Stephenie
Stephenie Meyer can
Miss Stephenie can

Miss Stephenie can, 'cause she mixes it with mush
And makes it all sound good
And it all sounds good
'Cause Miss Stephenie thinks it should