So, I KNOW that I'm one of MANY with this oneshot, but come one people, the last scene between Elena and Damon in the new ep (S2E8) was just too good to pass up on!
And like always with my oneshots, this one is for my beta, too. I wouldn't write them if it weren't for her – she kind of always puts the craving to write them into my head, and then I just HAVE to. So thanks, my dear beta AVECIA^^.
The title is from the song 'Unthought known' from 'Pearl Jam' – I don't own anything about it.
Neither do I own TVD, or any of the character *sigh*.
Now, on with it!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Elena had waited for what seemed an eternity for that one thing that would make her forgive Damon.
Not some grand gesture for the whole world to see – just something for her alone.
He had saved her life; he had spared Caroline's mother, and even had made an effort to get along with Bonnie.
But these things were not for her, really. That had been him, trying to get back into her good graces, because he wanted her back. All good and noble things to do, but in the end he had selfish reasons for them.
But this, now?
He stood here, in front of her, not as someone who wanted her back, but as someone who was ready to let her go so she could be happy.
She had no idea what had brought this kind of behavior on. True, there had been glimpses of the man and not the vampire over the last few months. But they were short-lived, and reigned in as soon as he had recognized that he had let that part of him through.
The first time she had been consciously aware of that human part of him, had been on their way home from Georgia, as he accepted that fact that she had saved his life.
The second time had been that dreadful tomb-incident.
After that, she had stopped to look for these moments, and just had accepted them as they came.
And so they became friends. When she set foot into the Boarding house, she searched the rooms not only for Stefan, but for his brother as well. When she had called her boyfriend (or was it ex-boyfriend now?) she half expected it to be Damon on the other end of the line – and it hadn't even bothered her.
They had been good together, easy. It took no effort for them to be comfortable with each other. They were snarky and sarcastic, trying to one-up each other, yet always knowing it was for fun, no hard feelings involved.
And then something changed. Something in the expression of his eyes when he trained them on her, something in the way he grinned.
And until the day that Isobel (she wouldn't ever call this woman her mother, matching DNA or not) had spelled it out for her, she couldn't figure out what it was.
But it had been painfully clear, then.
The something in his eyes that had changed, had been the last reservations vanishing, the last chunks of ice melting away – at least whenever he was with her.
His grin wasn't quite as cocky and self-assured anymore. It had turned into more of a smile, instead of a grin.
And she had been so, so afraid of these changes. Because when she thought about it, it was spelling out trouble…all over the place.
She loved Stefan – she was in love with Stefan. He was safe and warmed her heart, and she knew without a doubt that he would protect her with his life.
But that was just the thing – safe was nice, but with time, it also got boring. And she knew for certain that she needed to be able to protect herself, and not be dependent on others all the time.
On the other hand, there was Damon – who still was there every time she needed him; but unlike Stefan, Damon took her hand and stood beside her, rather than stand in front of her.
He let her have responsibility of her own; let her be her own, independent person. He would never keep truths from her, no matter how it would hurt her to know certain things.
Just as she had started to admit to herself that what she felt for him probably went deeper than a simple friendship, everything went down the drain.
First, he nearly burned to death – a slap in the face all on its own.
Then her friends got into an accident, her uncle (biological father… she really could have lived without that particular knowledge, but whatever) had been stabbed nearly to death and mutilated in her own kitchen, and Jeremy had tried to turn himself.
And on top of everything else, her maniac vampire-doppelganger had breezed into the city, as if she owned it.
Everything had just been too much, and as Damon came that night, trying to force her to admit to something she hadn't even figured out for herself yet, she had fled into her proverbial shell, and lashed out at him.
In hindsight, she should have known that something was amiss with him – but hindsight always had been a bitch.
So when her brother slumped to the floor of her bedroom, with the sound of his brittle human bones giving in like cardboard under his strength still echoing in her ears… well, she said to Stefan that Damon wanted to be hated, because it would be easier for him.
But in reality, hating him just seemed to be the easier option for her. He had snapped her brothers' neck; she could – should – hate him now, and not even feel bad about it.
At least, that's what she thought at first – what she tried to make herself believe.
But the damn guy really made it difficult to hate him, once you had been able to look behind all those walls he had set up around his heart.
It hadn't been the fact the he had jumped in front of an arrow for her that made her start to reconsider. No, for some reason that hadn't lessened her anger in the least. But his apology and the honesty he had in his eyes and voice as he asked her if he had lost her forever… That had been the first moment in which she had hoped for something.
Something that would redeem him in her eyes.
The thing with Carolines mum – and what he had said about Stefan – had been the first brick in that road.
And now he was telling her he loved her. Just like that. No grand speeches, no demands or ultimatums. He was confessing his love, and told her he didn't deserve her – but that his brother did – in the same breath.
If it weren't so damn tragic, she would crack a smile and tell him that from now on, nobody would ever believe him again that he hated Stefan.
But really, right now was no place for Stefan in her mind.
Because she saw his pupils dilate at the same time he told her to forget. And there was a tear, making its way down his cheek and past his lips, only to drop into nothing.
Just as she wanted to lift her hand up and trace the wet path on his face, there was a gust of wind, and he was gone.
She blinked a few times, and looked down to see her necklace firmly back in place.
This had been it, the one thing she had waited for. Something so utterly selfless, that it brought tears to her own eyes and a bitter smile on her lips.
She opened her right hand, which had been clutched into a fist until now, and looked at the dry and crushed sprig of vervain.
Oh, the irony of it!
Because Stefan had been here earlier, giving her the herb 'just in case'.
If it hadn't been for that, she would be standing in the middle of her room, not knowing how her necklace found its way back to her – not knowing that Damon had just broken his own heart, in order to hold hers and his brothers together.
Yeah, Stefan was – and probably always would be – the good brother. Noble and sacrificing to the point of martyrdom, carrying his heart on his sleeve.
But she knew for sure, that he would never, ever giver her up, just because he thought someone else deserved her more.
Wiping the tears off of her cheeks, she changed from her PJ's into a pair of jeans and a shirt, grabbed her car keys and made her way to the Boarding House.
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Her steps were sure as she entered Stefan's room – there was no point in postponing what she had to do now. It was like ripping off a band-aid. Better done as fast as possible, for the least amount of pain.
Stefan looked up from the book he was reading, and instantly knew that this was not a pleasure-visit.
He studied her face intently as his eyes fell on the necklace around her neck.
Closing his eyes for a moment, he put his book on a side table and then in a burst of speed stood right in front of her.
He laid his hand gently on her cheek, took in the dried tear tracks and the sad look in her eyes.
"Damon had been to visit you?"
It sounded like a question, but they both knew it was more of a statement.
She answered him anyway.
"Yeah. He brought my necklace back. Stefan I…"
Shaking his head, he placed a finger over her lips to interrupt her.
"I know. I knew for quite some time – I just couldn't acknowledge it, I guess."
She had tears in her eyes again, but there wasn't anything she could do about it – or want to do about it. Stefan had always been good to her, the perfect boyfriend. He deserved her tears, at least.
"I love you, Stefan. I really do but…"
"…but you love him more."
She shook her head – if only it would be this easy.
"No. Not…more. Just different. He… he makes me want to go out there – play with the fire, and enjoy every second of every day, even if I run the risk of getting burned by it. I'm sorry."
He gave her a watery grin, took her face between his hands and dropped a kiss on her forehead – just like Damon had done not even an hour ago.
Sometimes, the brothers were more alike than they would ever confess to.
"I know you are – I am, too. But it is what it is, right?"
With that, he made his way back to his armchair, and resumed his reading.
He was making it easy for her, and she couldn't be more thankful, so she turned around and closed his door behind her.
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
For some reason, it was way harder to enter Damon's room than it had been Stefans.
But with Stefan, she had known the outcome of their conversation. She had known that, at the end of this day, the relationship between them would be no more, no matter what happened afterwards.
With Damon, it was always a blind bet. You never knew what would happen next.
Steeling her nerves, she knocked on the door, but didn't wait for an invitation, instead choosing to just step in, before closing it again.
He was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling; button-down open, revealing his chest, and his feet were both shoe and sockless.
He had headphones on, and she could hear music blaring even to were she stood – she couldn't even imagine how loud it must be in his ears, what with vampire hearing and all.
She wondered briefly why he was wearing headphones – usually he couldn't care less if he disturbed Stefan with his music, but shoved that thought entirely aside.
She took a few steps closer to him, and he must have seen her from his peripheral vision, because in under a second the headphones lay forgotten on his bed, and he stood in front of her, usual cocky smirk firmly in place.
"Why, Elena. To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"
The sarcasm was so thick in his voice, it was nearly painful. Even more so, because she knew that he did it to protect himself from even more heartache. But she just took the sprig of vervain out of her pocket, and held it on the palm of her hand, so he could see it.
Damon lifted one eyebrow, giving her a strange look.
"Okay… I know we're not on the best of terms lately, but whatever I did this time, can't be worse enough that you want me to…. What exactly do you want me to do with that?"
He sounded slightly suspicious, and she had to make an effort to keep her face straight. It was so easy to forget how serious a situation was, with him nearby.
"I don't want you to do anything with it. But you should start to pay closer attention to the people you compel."
His expression went from mocking and a little suspicious, to guarded in the fraction of a second.
"What… I have no idea what you are talking about. And now you should probably go – I'm sure that won't like it if you spend too much time in the room of his devil of a brother."
Elena closed her eyes, counting from ten downwards. Now was not the time to get frustrated with Damon.
"I was holding it in my hand, Damon. Earlier, as you came to give me my necklace back. I haven't forgotten a thing you told me."
His eyes widened, and he made a – probably unconscious – step back. He started to speak a few times, before he gave up and turned around, running his hands through his hair.
Elena just stood there, waiting patiently for him to get his bearings back. As he finally calmed down again, he turned to her, an askew smile on his face.
"Look I…I'm sorry, okay? You just have to… Just take the necklace off, and I'll do it properly, this time."
She looked at him incredulously, before she shook her head, closed the gap between them and, just like that, kissed him. She saw him closing his eyes after a few shocked moments giving in to his feelings.
But it didn't last, because after a few way too short moments, he stepped back, looking like he had seen a ghost.
"Stefan, he…"
It was Elena's time to interrupt.
"He knows. I was in his room before I came here, and he knows. Damon you…I should hate you, should stay away from you. But I can't do either. I just can't, because I need you.
What use is it to stay with him, and always longing to be with you? Damon, I lo…"
She couldn't even finish her sentence – couldn't finish to tell him that she loved him, because his lips were pressed against hers, his arms around her, nearly lifting her off the ground.
And she just shrugged and let it go – there would be time for conversations and words later.
Now she had to work on putting his heart back together.
Because no matter what, she never wanted to see his eyes in tears again.
And words didn't matter, anyway. He had proven his love over and over again, and now it was her turn.
And she did just that.
Xoxoxoxoxoxo
I KNOW that Stefan was quite OOC, but I ALWAYS have problems writing him. He is just in the damn way of a happily ever after for Damon and Elena.
I'm done for today, now it's your turn: just click on the little button below. Reviews are love, people!
So long,
Zora.