She sobbed all over again into her pillow just like every night just thinking of the memories… all the special times together.
It was just too painful.
And to think, he had a girlfriend!
She cried herself to sleep like so many nights before. She really thought she could convince herself she was over him: considering 2 years have passed, but she never forgot her one special love.
It ended too fast, a whirlwind of confusion and assumption. The media swept her off her feet and filled her head with nonsense and caused her to turn against her own husband. She thought they could last forever, but it was too good to be true. The worst part, her best friend, Vanessa advised her to separate from him and not a minute after, became his new fling. Nick stated that he was the happiest, luckiest man alive, and with that, she was truly deeply hurt.
Now, they were dating happily for 18 months, while she tried to date other guys, but it wasn't the same. He was her first love, her first kiss, her first time. He loved her with all his heart as she had loved him, no matter what. Their love was nurtured and flourished, but came crashing and burning unexpectedly and Jess found herself right back where she started: alone, confused and lost.
She looked at herself in the mirror: gosh had she changed since her Newlywed days. She no longer was bubbly, beautiful and peppy. But her eyes were blotchy and red, her hair was a mess, all tangled and curly (Ken will have a fit), mascara running down her face, dark circles forming around her eyes (from crying and sleepless nights. He haunted her dreams, and it felt so real: his smell, his touch ….) Her face was pale and her eyes were gray, limp and lifeless. She could feel the tingly sensation up her nose and quivered her lip, which triggered the blurry vision, signifying that she was about to start crying again. Nick would have thought she was beautiful, no matter what she looked like. He loved her for who she was and constantly reminded her of that and that her beauty radiated even when she was wearing baggy sweatpants and had her hair up in a messy ponytail without makeup on. But now she was alone and on her own. There was no Nick to say that to her in her life now. She gulped and controlled her sobbing. She didn't understand the beauty of moving on, she didn't want to. It was almost as if she liked the pain. She sagged her shoulders and rocked her head in her hands. She didn't understand how Nick could love another woman. How could Nick appear so happy in love, after he said that, no he vowed, that he would love her and only her until death did them part. A solitary tear rolled down her cheek as she remembered that day: the best day of her life. No matter how old she grew, or where life took her, she would always remember her wedding day. The beautiful gown, the beautiful church, with Nick smiling down at her from the church alter, giving her courage and all her prior nervousness flew away and nothing else mattered as she melted in his eyes. " I love you Jessica," he whispered. She covered her mouth with her hands and bit them hard to stop the free flow of tears. "Forever". She whispered into the dark cold night.