Title: Lost a Friend
Author: Rasei
Summary: James Hale wants to help a friend, but does the friend want help? One-shot; Outsider view; Rated for suggested drug use
Disclaimer: I do not own Alex Rider in any fashion.
A/N: This was inspired by the Fray song, 'How to Save a Life'. James Hale was mention in the short story Incident in Nice set between Point Blanc and Skeleton Key. This is set after Crocodile Tears. This is also officially my 50th story on this account.
I was glaring down at my book, because I forgot to do my homework. Instead I spent the last couple of days reading up on the effect of withdrawing from drugs. Of course different drugs withdraws were all different, but I had no idea which Alex was on.
"Alex! You're back!" I turned my head to look at Tom's yell. Alex was standing near his desk, looking little worse to wear. He rubbed his chest as he sat down, and smiled tiredly at Tom. The smile was small, and didn't reached his eyes. What happened to my old friend and teammate that would smile with all his might?
Part of me hated Ian Rider, whose death started the cycle. Another part hates Jack for not being able to stop Alex before it got to this point. Another part hated myself for not stepping in before his eyes turn to look like my veteran father. No matter whose fault it is, I need to help him.
Dimmily I was aware of the class starting, but I continue to look at Alex. Something had to be done. With the books I have read, maybe I could convince him to get help for his problem. He was acting normal when we went to Nice that time, but there was that accident on the beach. He came back limping slightly, and my aunt convinced him to take pain medicine when they got back.
What if the rumors were true? What if Alex was truly part of a gang? What if I was wrong about why he is always injured? I bit my lip. I need to talk to him as soon as possible. I started standing up, ready to talk to him right then.
"Mr. Hale, what are you doing?" yelled the shrill voice of my teacher. I sat down bright red, looking down.
"Sorry, Ma'am."
I waited to lunch to speak with Alex. Alex and Tom were sitting in the regular spot, with a textbook open next to Alex. Alex wasn't reading it, instead he was listening to Tom. As I got nearer, it was evident that Tom was retelling a football game that happen while Alex was gone.
Alex turned his head to look at me before I even finished getting there. Slight curiosity was on his face, but he looked down again. Tom instead grinned happily as he patted the set next to him. I bit my lip and sat down. After Tom finished the story, he turned to me.
"So, James, what was up with earlier?" asked Tom. Alex lift his head, and looked at me. I noticed there were slight bags under his eyes.
"Nothing… I just remember I think Mum left the stove on at home," I said with a shrugged. Tom nod his head yes, having meet Mum after football games over the years. Alex looked unsure, like he knew I was lying. I bit my lip, looking at Alex.
"Is something the matter, James? Can I help?" asked Alex, worriedly. I nod my head.
"Can you come over to my house after school? I want to talk about something."
"Sure, James." The worry look in Alex's eyes deepen, and I felt horrible. He shouldn't have to worry about me when he was in more trouble. After all, the type of drugs he were likely on would be like codeine or maybe even morphine. I hear the morphine has horrible withdrawal symptoms.
"Oh, are you going to confess your love to Alex?" Tom asked, teasingly. I push him slightly.
"I have a girlfriend!" Alex leans in, with a wide grin. There was real interest in his eyes.
"Yeah, Carla," I grinned thinking of my girlfriend. Alex suddenly grins, his eyes has a glint of mischief in them. There seems still be some of his old self someone in him.
"Carla. As in the Carla that brained Tom that time in the library?" he asked, leaning closer. I grinned the memory.
"That is the harpy that he is dating," Tom said, faking sniffling.
"Hey, you deserve it! You were talking loudly in the library," said Carla's voice. The three of us looked at her. Carla smiled at Alex, then looked at me. I smiled at her briefly, the one that she says makes her gooey inside.
"Hello, beautiful. How are you today?" I asked.
"I'm okay, just wondering why my boyfriend forgot that he promise to help me with a certain project during lunch."
I frown, remembering. I stood up, and looked at Tom and Alex.
"I'm sorry, Carla. Bye Tom. See you after school, Alex."
After school, I started heading toward my bike. Unfortunately, I didn't have the same last class as Alex and there wasn't football practice tonight. Part of me want Alex to forget about tonight, hoping he wouldn't show up. To chicken out from the talk. But Alex needs help, and I will help him.
Needless to say, Alex was already sitting by the bike stand, leaning against his own bike. He tried to smile at me, but the tension in his body ruined the effect. I could see Tom nearby worried, as if he was the one I wanted to question.
"Thanks, Alex, for waiting."
"James, you told me that we need to talk. I don't know what the problem is, but I want to help," he said calmly, like I was the one missing school while pretending to be sick. I tried to smile at him, then unlocked my bike. As we rode to my house, I keep peeking over at returned, he keep looking at me.
I'm tense, maybe I should leave him alone. I could be wrong. The trip was completely silence. The only time one of spoke was his quiet curses as a black governmental-looking car drove by. We got to my house, which I was both thankful, and hated. Our friendship will be change after we enter it.
"Want anything to drink?" I asked, as we enter the house. It was quiet, and no sounds that indicated that someone else was here. That was good. No one would interrupt the needed conversation.
"Water is fine. Should we go up to your room?" ask Alex.
"The kitchen is fine."
He was tense, as if someone would jump out at hit him. I lead him into the kitchen, and took to glasses down. We didn't speak, as I filled both glasses with water. I turned to see Alex looking out the window.
"Alex…" I tried to start talking, but stop. Was it really my business?
"So James, what did you need?" asked Alex, taking his water. I took a breathe, then sat down at the table.
"Alex, can you sit down? I want to talk to you about something." Alex nodded his head, and sat in the seat in front of me. When he sat down at the edge of the seat, he smile at me. I took in a nervous breathe.
"Okay, I'm sitting down. So what's up?"
"We need to talk," I said again. Alex nod his head, keeping that fake smile on his face.
"About what?" I sighed, wishing someone else had stepped in before me. Tom couldn't see what was wrong with him, and none of the teachers were stepping in. I don't know what Ms. Seabreeze was feeling, but I knew she must be feeling horrible and maybe lost on what do too.
"Your drug problem," I reply. Disbelief flicked across his face, and it paled slightly.
"I don't have a drug problem," said Alex, crossing his arms.
"That why we should talk. I know you believe it's not a problem, but it is."
"I don't take drugs. I only ever take medicine."
"That why you are getting your injuries, right?" The disbelief disappeared from his face, and it was blank.
"What?"
"Every time when you are almost better, you disappear again. When you reappear, you are even more injured than before."
He sighed, then looked out the window. I took a sip of my drink, trying not to show how nervous I am. Alex finally looked back at me.
"Most of the time, I don't get medicine for my injuries. I…" he stopped, as if he didn't know what to say.
"Alex, I want to help. If you need to detox, I will stay with you and help you along. Just please…"
"I don't have a drug problem!" he yelled, standing suddenly. The chair feel backwards, hitting the ground. We just stared at each other, anger burning in his eyes.
"Alex, you are my friend. I want to help," I said, trying to stay calm. He shook his head, as if saying we weren't friends. How did I lose his friendship? I stood up, to be at his level.
"I'm fine. It's… I'm fine now," he said. He starts to turn, then gasp slightly.
"Alex?" I asked, worried.
"I… I hurt my back," he said. He bent down, and pick up the chair. He sat back down, and he look down at the table. I slowly sat back down. We were quiet for a few minutes. Should I stop trying to help him? Forget this awkward conversation? Alex sighed, his gaze switching to the window.
"Alex, I… then how are you getting your injuries? Don't tell me that you are clumsily, because there is no way I would have missed it in all the years we been friends," I begged, wanting to understand my friend. Alex look back at me, his face still blank.
"Accidents. I am clumsily, maybe you just never paid attention before," he said. I could tell he was lying, and that he was scared.
"You are lying. Don't claim you aren't lying. Is Ms. Seabreeze's new boyfriend hurting you? Or are you getting the injuries in fights?" I tried to stay calm, not wanting to yell at him. Alex shook his head.
"Jack doesn't have a boyfriend, and I'm not in a gang," he said.
"I know you aren't in a gang. Who mention anything about a gang? I…"
"I'm fine! Really, I am. please James. Let it go." I could see he was getting angry now, and I bit my lip. How can I help him if he didn't want help.
"How can I let it go when one of my best friends keeps disappearing, and returning injured. I know you say you're sick, but I can tell that…" Again the chair hit the ground, he is clutching his hand. I wench slightly, but stared into his eyes. The blankness was gone, and all that is left is anger.
"James, leave it. I'm fine. I promise I won't disappear again. Now leave it," he said, stepping away from the table. I stood up too, ready to chase him if he leaves.
"I'm not going to leave it! YOU ARE MY FRIEND! FRIENDS DO NOT LEAVE THEIR FRIENDS WHEN THEY ARE HURT!" I yelled, my voice breaking slightly. He took a step back, and fall over the chair leg. He hit the ground hard, and he let out a whimper. I rushed around the table, and knelt down next to him. When I reach to help him up, he hit my hand away. I step back, trying not to fall myself. He force himself up, and glared at me.
The glare made my heart ache. The Alex I was friends with was gone, and an imposter was standing there instead. How did I lost my friend without realizing it? What went wrong? I bit my lip, but didn't back down. Maybe… maybe I can still get through to him.
"Alex, you need help. I want to help you. Please let me help you!" I said, my voice trying to not tremble. But Alex shook his head, I know I lost him.
"James, you can't help. I'm sorry. I guess I should leave," he said, carefully picking up the chair. As he tried to walk out, I followed him. I grabbed his arm when we were in the hallway.
"Please, Alex. I just want to help," I begged, not wanting to lose him. He looked into my eyes, with that unfamiliar look in them. I bit my lip, knowing this was the last chance I would have. We stood there, then he shook his head.
"I… I don't need help. Not from you, not from anyone. I'm fine."
"You do need help. As your friend…"
"Who said you were my friend anymore?" he asked bitterly. I froze looking to that familiar but unfamiliar face. Where is the friendly boy that protected the younger kids from bullies? Where is the boy that wanted to be a football star? Where is my friend?
"I do! I'm going to help you, whether you like it or not! I know you had a hard time after your uncle Ian died but..." He tried pushed me away, his face red with rage. I felt a chill go down my spine, but I didn't let him go. Friends don't let go, never.
"James, don't speak about what you don't know. I'm back, I'm not going to disappear again! Now let my arm go, and leave me alone!" I shook my head at him.
"Alex…" He pushed me hard, and I hit the floor. We stared, then Alex turned away.
"I'm sorry, but I don't need help. I should go home now, so Jack doesn't get nervous. Bye," he said, his voice trembling.
"Alex, if… if you ever want to talk, know I'm here. If you can't talk to me, then tell Ms. Sea… Jack or Tom. We care about you. NEVER FORGET THAT!" He made no indication that he heard my words, as he left. I felt angry at myself, for not being able to help.
Alex stayed around for quite a while after that, and slowly started to turn back to the boy he once was. I'm not sure if it was our talk, or something else happen. Whatever changed him, I was happy for.
I was right through, our friendship didn't last that fight. We only spoke when necessary, and only when other people were around. Alex did keep his promise through about not leaving.
Or he did until that day. Someone took a shot at the school. Tom was the only one injured. Alex disappeared, leading to rumors that he caused it somehow. He didn't, there was no way he would ever hurt Tom. I waited and waited for the day he came back. Even swinging by his house once or twice. No one was ever home. It soon came clear that no one was ever going to live in that house again, when the house went on the market.
It's been a while since then, and sometimes I wonder: Had there been something I could have done to help Alex? Had there been a way I could have not lost my friend? Had there been a way I could have stop the drug abuse?
I will never know. After all, Alex Rider never came back home.
A/N: Please if you think someone is doing drugs, tell someone else. There are hotlines you can call, or speak to someone close to them.