Hey Guys! Well this is my first fanfic and I am going to try and stick with it. Let me know what you think and please leave me a review :)
A Special Thanks to my good friend Lucy who is helping me write this Fanfic and giving me some ideas. This is a joint effort and hopefully it will be a good one.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the Characters.
This was it. It was going to be now or never at all, I told myself for the hundredth time that hour. I'd seen so many people say those three meaningful words in the movies, so why did I have to be such a coward? Questions popped in and out of my head. How would he react? Would it wreck our friendship? Would he just laugh and tell me to stop messing around? Would he tell me that he felt exactly the same…?
I love you! I love you! I love you! Why couldn't I just say it? He was sat opposite me right now, grinning that typical Edward style crooked grin. The sun gleamed through the windows making him sparkle all over. And those eyes. Oh god, those eyes. He was so beautiful. No correction, he is beautiful. I am the luckiest girl in the world to even be considered his best friend.
"Bella quit staring. What's up with you today your acting weird? Is something wrong?"
I jumped in my seat, back to reality. My cheeks flushed a bright shade of pink as I realised I had been staring at him constantly for the past 10 minutes. What an idiot, I wanted to act cool and for it to come out casually during the conversation. But this was it, those 12 years of friendship and my feelings since kindergarten when we 'married' with the haribo rings and promised to love each other everyday of forever had come down to this. I vowed not question my heart anymore with the 'What ifs..' and the endless possibilities. After months of debating, I decided that if he wasn't going to know now, he never will.
"Edward there's something I need to tell you." I bit my lip, hands trembling from beneath the table.
"You know you can tell me anything." He looked at me directly, with those dazzling emerald eyes I had studied so carefully, taking my hands in his, I took a deep breath and prepared myself for what was about to come.
"I've been meaning to tell you for so long. And I can't go on like this anymore, its killing me. My heads been spinning and spinning and I've told myself I won't carry on anymore without telling you the truth. The thing is, I, I..." Oh my god, come on Bella, almost there!
Ring! Ring! Ring!
Shit! Just my luck. I thought to myself.
"Bella, you were saying?"
"Oh, umm. It doesn't matter, I'll tell you later. Come on we better go." Stupid, stupid, stupid! How can I be so stupid? I just had the perfect opportunity and I blew it. Way to go Bella!
We walked side by side in silence towards English; my heart was racing so fast I thought it was going to explode from my chest. He must think I'm an idiot or something. What if he felt the same though? Would we start dating? How I would love to be able to kiss those lushes lips of his and rake my hands through that bronze sex hair! Oh how I have dreamed about that every night... I was brought out of my reverie by someone tapping me on the shoulder.
"Err Bella, you okay?" Edward inquired, his voice filled with concern.
"Yeah I'm fine. Tell you later?"
"Sure. 6 o'clock, on the dot. My place. It's a date" he stated with a wink and then turned around and headed into the classroom.
I just stood there gaping at the same from which he had moved. I must of looked like a right moron! But what was that all about? Oh god. Was he on to me? Did he know what I was going to tell him and was just leading me on? Oh my god, what am I going to wear? ALICE! I need to speak with that little pixie now. Oh no, I'm daydreaming again. Crap!
"Miss Swan, would be joining the lesson today or are you just going to stand in the hallway?" Mr Warner questioned.
"Oh yes sir, sorry sir." I walked into the classroom and sneaked a peek at Edward who had a knowing smirk on his god like face. Smug much? I thought.
Every now and then, I would cast a glance towards Edward and every time he would be looking at me too. It was like an electric force was pulsing through me every time we made eye contact and sent shivers up my spine. I was in far too deep and I needed to seriously do something about it before it gets any more out of hand.
Seconds ticked by and minutes gradually passed when finally the bell rang signalling time for last lesson, Biology. This was of course my favourite lesson as it was the lesson where I sat next to Edward who was currently waiting patiently outside of the door for me so we could walk together. I hastily shoved my items into my bag and made my way to him. We yet again walked in silence, I was dying to ask him what all that was about but I kept my lips tightly shut.
As we were working on our work, my thoughts were still on what he meant by 'it's a date'. It just didn't make sense and I was dying to know. God, he's so confusing.
Edward! What are you on about, it's a date!
Shit. I said that out load. Fuck.
"Uh what I mean is.. Erm..."
"I just meant that you could come over to my place to hang out like usual. I was just messing Bella, no need to over think it!" He said quickly without meeting my gaze.
"Oh ok." I sighed, my voice laced with disappointment.
"So I'll see you later then?" he asked finally looking my way.
"Sure, I'll be there." I smiled.
"Great, till then, then."
"Till then" I sighed.
Thirty minutes later, I was at home raiding my closet for something to wear tonight. Do i go for casual or something alluring? Gah, I give up, this is hopeless! I made my way over to my bedside table to grab my phone and dialled the one person I could always count on.
"BELLA!" her high pitch voice trailed down the receiver.
"Hey Alice, I kind of need some help. I kind of have a 'date' tonight and well I don't have anything to kind of wear."
"OHMIGOSH! Who with? It's Mike Newton right? I'll be five minutes tops! Bye Bella!"
Typical Alice jumping into things, I thought to myself. She is such a bubbly person and the fact that she is Edward's sister meant that we have been close friends since as long as I can remember. There are endless photographs of us together at special occasion's faces beaming into the camera, sharing the memories. We tell each other everything and I know I can trust her fully too. The only thing she didn't know about me though, was how deeply I was in love with her big brother – and how he was going to find out this very night.
Alice arrived 5 minutes after she said she would, apologizing for the mere delay stating that she couldn't find the dress she wanted me to wear and that she had a scuffle with Rosalie over the make-up bag.
"But I'm here now B and that's what matters, Mike's not going to know what hit him!" She exclaimed, grabbing my hand and taking me into my room.
The dress she had forced me into was beautiful. It was long, and a deep blue in colour. It was truly elegant and was perfect for showing off those curves I never thought I even had. She had customized it by placing me into a pair of black heels – not to high but just high enough that I wouldn't trip or fall.
What seemed like centuries later – but only happened to be 30 minutes, Alice was done. She had refused to let me look into the mirror in the duration of time it took so I had no idea what I looked like although I had a feeling I would look pretty good, as Alice was an expert at doing this kind of girly thing.
"Oh my, you look gorgeous! You should so have your hair like this for school." She took the cloth away from the mirror and I stared at my reflection. She was right, I did look so much better than usual. My boring brown hair shined in the light and was lightly curled, bouncing around my shoulders, rather than sitting straight and limp like it usually hung. She had done my make-up professionally, with a touch of mascara and eyeliner to make my usually dull chocolate eyes stand out. She had added a hint of foundation, not too much but enough to make me look a little less pale. She had also added clear lip-gloss, which I imagined Edward wearing on his very lips later…
"Oh Alice I love it! What would I do without you?" I grinned, hugging her tightly.
"Mind it or you'll rub your make up all over me!" She laughed – obviously pleased at her efforts. "I know you would do the same for me."
"Oh yeah, I'd make you look like a bloody scarecrow." I joked, taking yet another glimpse in the mirror at the girl in front of me.
Alice checked her watch. "Shit! Is that the time? I promised Edward I'd be back to help him cook something, by now he's probably set the kitchen on fire knowing him. Text me later and tell me all about this hot date with Mike yeah?"
Eh oh. I better tell her now, before I turn up at her house later, it was only fair not to lie to her after all she had done, and she was bound to have to find out sooner rather than later.
"Alice there's something I haven't been entirely true about." I began, working up the guts to tell her.
"Oh yeah?" She questioned me, raising one of her perfectly shaped eyebrows. "What's up?"
"It's not Mike who I'm going on a date with. It's actually Edward." I could feel the blush creeping its way along my throat and up my face.
Alice stood there gaping at me; her eyes wide and shell shocked. "B-But.. I thought... OH MY GOD! You and Edward! We're going to be sisters! This is bloody fantastic! EEEEEEEP!" She replied giddily bounding on the spot like a 5 year old.
"Ali, Calm down please. I don't even know if Edward feels the same way or not so don't go assuming things at the moment please? I don't want to rush into things and get my hopes up to watch them get crushed." I soothed willing her to calm down but saying these words caused a rush of pain to shoot though my body making me wince.
"Oh B, Edward adores you! I can see the way he looks at you! It's as if he can only see you and that everyone else doesn't even exist. I wouldn't be surprised if he was actually in love with you to be honest!" she exclaimed.
"Thank you, I mean I love him with all my heart and hearing you tell me that has given me some hope and support to have the guts to finally tell him after all these years. I just hope it's true about what you said and that he too feels the same way as me..."
After talking for a couple more minutes with Alice, she reluctantly had to leave and wished me luck with tonight's plans. I was starting to feel nauseous and started to shake with anticipation.
It was now or never, as I made my way down the long and narrow dirt path that led to the Cullen's home. I was shaking like mad and my heart was beating ferociously against my chest. I pulled up outside the big white mansion and took one deep breath to try and calm my nerves before making my way towards the door. I raised my hand and knocked three times to announce that I had arrived. Too late to back out now Bella...
So what do you think? Should we carry on or just give up? Please Review x
Love Ashley&Lucy xx