CHAPTER ONE

ROMAN

I'm dreaming again. It registers the moment I recognize the inside of the Whitehill's shed, and my heart sinks, knowing how this nightmare is going to end.

I'm six years old, curled up in the blanket Emery gave me, shivering uncontrollably- in part from fear and in part from the cold. Everything about this moment feels like arrival night.

Except when Emery opens the shed, carrying a bowl of spaghetti in her hands, she is definitely not six years old. I begin to pull the blanket over my head, attempting to hide- I don't want to her to see me like this. Weak. Injured. Scared.

She slowly pulls the blanket away, offering me a reassuring smile. "Don't be scared," she says gently. Her eyes are full of warmth and kindness, and I cannot look away.

"Here," she says, handing me the bowl.

I shake my head. "I'm not hungry."

"I know," she says, and now there is a hint of sadness in her voice. "But you need your strength. The war is coming, and you must guide the way."

"I don't want to," I tell her, my voice small and timid. "I want to stay here forever, with you. I miss you."

Emery reaches out, sweeping the damp hair away from my face. "I miss you too," she tells me, bending down to kiss my forehead. "Every second, every day."

She pulls away, hesitating as she looks into my eyes. "Trust in Teri, Roman," she tells me earnestly. "Teri loves you. She will help you live."

This is the part of the dream I don't understand, the part of the dream I haven't told to anyone.

"Emery," I begin to ask, confused. "What-"

But as always, the door to the shed bursts open without warning. We both get up at once, but it is too late to hide. Castor, Vega, the Trags, the Redhawks… they all file in, blocking any escape. When I try to step in front of Emery, she pushes me back.

"DON'T HURT HIM!" She yells desperately, stepping in front of me.

Vega laughs.

"My dear, stupid girl," she says, walking up to us. "Roman is far too important to kill. You, on the other hand…"

She smiles wickedly as she holds out a crystal cube filled with black cyper, tossing it carelessly, and crushes it with her foot.

Emery collapses to the ground, and I'm too small, too weak… powerless to keep her from falling. When her head cracks on impact, all I can hear are my screams.

"ROMAN!"

The voice seems far away, but familiar. Trustworthy. I follow it through the darkness, still screaming for Emery, until my eyes blink open, struck by the harsh contrast of the sudden light.

"Emery!" I gasp, my eyes moving around frantically. I try to sit up, but can't. "Emery!"

"Emery is safe," a voice says hurriedly, and I blink once more, focusing on where it came from. Finally, I settle on Drake.

He is towering over me, his hands pressing down onto my shoulders. "It was just a dream, Roman," he tells me. "Emery is safe."

I close my eyes once more and focus on breathing. Emery is safe. It was just a dream. Emery is safe. This knowledge races through my mind, over and over again, like a calming meditation, as Drake begins to remove my restraints. I don't open them again until I hear the last click.

"Thanks," I mumble, pushing myself up. The room spins, but I'm so used to this that I just ignore it and take a deep breath, waiting for it to pass.

Drake has been sleeping in a cot in my room ever since my nightmares began, a week into summer vacation. He took Sophia's place as my nighttime ward after I had broken her nose while she attempted to calm me down. Ever since, I've made them place me in restraints, and Drake keeps watch, suffering through the night with me.

It's an act of friendship I will never be able to repay him for.

"You've gotta figure out what to do with all these bracelets," Drake says gruffly, handing me a small piece of paper entwined with yarn. "Dudes don't wear friendship bracelets, man."

I ignore him, sliding the multicolored yarn over my wrist, watching it fall in between the others. Emery makes me one every day, and Drake gives it to me every morning… tangible proof that she is real. That she is safe.

Drake turns and heads to the kitchen in unspoken understanding, as I unfold the paper.

I love you.

For the first time all morning, my body relaxes just a bit.

I turn the paper over, remembering the words from an old movie Emery made me watch, about a human in love with a ghost.

Ditto.

Drake comes back in with breakfast, and I fold the paper in half as I jump off the bed, shoving it into my sneaker, where I'm certain the guards won't bother to search. Usually, I pass it off to him… he is the main messenger between the Humans and the Atrians nowadays… but today is an Integration Day. I will see her in a bit.

Drake hands me my ration, and I squint at it, frowning. "This is too much."

"You need your strength," Drake says flatly.

I glare at him, pushing it away. "So do you."

"Not as much as you," Drake tells me, pushing it back towards me. "It's an Integration Day, Roman. The eyes of the world are going to be on you and Emery. We can't have you passing out in front of the cameras. Eat it, or I'll put you back in the restraints and force feed it to you."

His voice bares no room for argument. I'm too exhausted to give him one, and anyway, I'm starving from the fake spaghetti.

He watches me eat in silence, and I'm almost finished when there's a knock at the door. Drake goes to open it, and Sophia comes in with Teri trailing behind her.

"Fresh batch of haenep," Teri says without preamble, pulling a vial out of her bag.

"I'm fine without it," I tell them, crossing my arms.

The haenep is what I hate the most about being sick. It's a powerful plant… a drug, not unlike the human plant marijuana… but stronger. It eases the pain and gives me energy, but at a price. I've become addicted to it.

It's Teri's turn to glare at me. "Damnit Roman," she says, stalking over to me. "We are not having this argument every damn morning. Stop being so fucking noble. It's better to have you an addict and alive, than dead without it."

"Unless that's your plan," Sophia mutters. "To have him addicted to a plant only you can grow."

"Sophia-" I sigh. "I'm dying either way. The haenep is just prolonging the inevitable."

Teri slaps me across the face. Sophia makes a move towards her, but Drake puts his arms around her, stopping her. "Shut up," Teri whispers coldly. "If you think I'm just going to let you give up, you're dumber than I thought you were. Take the damn haenep, Roman. For Emery."

We stare at each other, and I remember Emery's words in the dream. Closing my eyes, I open my mouth, allowing her to drop the small leaf onto the tip of my tongue, swallowing as it dissolves.

Satisfied, Teri hands me a glass of water without looking at me, and turns to Drake. "You should go," she tells him. "The bus leaves in less than an hour, and you look like shit. Meet back here at ten of, we'll walk down together."

Drake gives her a mock salute, shoots me a sympathetic look at having to be the mediator between my sister and Sophia, and walks out of the pod.

"Teri…" I begin, faltering. "I-"

"You should get ready, too," she interrupts quickly. "I'll stay with Sophia."

I pause by Sophia as I make my way to the bathroom, giving her a warning look. "Play nice."