Hi everyone! I'm Zuta! How are you? Hope you will enjoy my first ever fanficton! This story is supposed to be funny... but with my writting level... well at least try to laugh for pity's sake! Okay, enough said. Lets start the story!
Warning: CRACK and shitty language.
Chapter One: Fai
Fai grinned ecstatically as she stood in front of the building she spent sleepless nights hacking into illegal websites to look for. She even went as far a bribing and threatening people just to find the single pair of coordinates that indicated her destination.
'This is it,' she thought as her grin grew even wider, almost splitting her face in half in process, 'I'm finally gonna become a hunter!'
Fai had always dreamed of becoming a hunter ever since she was little. After constant times of her hunter application forms being rejected (because she was too young at the time), becoming a hunter wasn't only a lifetime goal anymore, in fact it was becoming more of an... obsession.
She was actually turning into one of those rabid fangirls (fans of things that I would rather not mention for the sake of the reader's sanity) who would faint at the mention of their obsession's name. Except, Fai didn't faint. Instead she would become so hyper and ecstatic that people would think that she was rather troubled in the head... well, more than usual anyways.
Her sole reason of wanting to become a hunter was rather unusual as well. She wasn't like those normal people who wanted money or fame or whatever, but rather, she wanted to prove that Unicorns were real.
Seriously, I would say that her obsession with unicorn's are more severe than her obsession with hunters. In fact, it was so severe that it was more of an addiction than an obsession. She would literally kill someone if they said that unicorn's did not exist (her grade school teachers can confirm that... if they are still alive that is.) I suppose it is safe to say that she practically lives for unicorns.
Okay now, off the topic of her horrid obsessions.
Lets have a proper introduction... or not.
Fai was a 12 year old little girl that was vertically... challenged. A simpler way to put it is to say that she was too short for her age. Like really, really short. There were 8 year old's taller than her. *sigh* That is just sad.
On a brighter note however, she had fluffy pink hair (NATURAL pink hair despite what everyone says. It is so not dyed.) that matched her unicorns perfectly. Well, not all unicorns are fluffy and pink, but she doesn't need to know that (for the sake of the world's safety. Seriously, I'm not kidding.)
At the moment (everyday actually. She is addicted to unicorns after all) She was wearing a white hoodie with a huge pink fluffy unicorn face in the front and a fake sparkly unicorn horn sewn on the hood along with white leggings and pink fluffy boots. She looked like a girl dressed for Halloween.
...
Or lady gaga's twin sister... but maybe crazier.
...
Anyways, as I was saying at the beginning of the story (the very beginning. The first sentence in fact) She was standing in front of the building that would lead to her awesome future career of finding unicorns.
The building itself... well, you would think that the hunter examination site would be a little bit prettier. And not in such a ... weird named building.
Like seriously, "The Greasy Spoon"?! Were all their spoons greasy or something? Or maybe they sold spoons that were greasy?
Anyways, as soon as she entered the shabby looking building (I will spare you the gory details of the building's appearance) she was hit with a warm burst of air filled with lovely scents that made her mouth water like a dog. (seriously, dogs have alot of drool)
"Hello" A chubby old man she assumed was the cook (he was cooking something after all) greeted her at the counter, "how may I help you?"
"Umm... fat people... unicorns are cool..." she mumbled incoherently.
What? It wasn't her fault! Her brain was mush right now because of the heavenly scents floating around in the room. She had a soft spot for food. Or people with food. Or anything that had to do with food really.
The chubby cook raised an eyebrow at her as if to say; What the fuck is a 8 year old little kid doing here?
As I mentioned somewhere above (I think) she was rather short for a 12 year old.
"Erm... I mean, I want to become a hunter!" She declared loudly. Luckily there weren't many customers around to give her the WTF look. "Oh yeah. The password... what was it again? Um... I want to order a Steam Jumbo cooked slowly under a low fame!"
"You mean the steak combo cooked carefully under a low flame?" a woman's voice interrupted.
"Yes! Whatever!"
The woman (maybe she was the fat guy's wife or something?) shared an amused look with her so called husband. "Please follow me," she said to Fai as she proceeded to lead her to a room at the back of the restaurant.
Despite how short their tiny stroll tot he back of the restaurant was, it was still extremely awkward, with Fai shooting random questions at the lady ("did you know that Unicorns are real?" "Are you the examiner?" "Was that fat guy your husband?") and the lady not really knowing how to respond to her rapid questions.
"Here you are," the lady seemed relived when they arrived at their destination, "Good luck" and she left, closing the door behind her.
Fai however, didn't even notice her leaving since she was so preoccupied with drooling over the huge table of food that laid in the middle of the room.
She took a deep breath of wondrous scents that made her moan with pleasure (wow, that sounded wrong... XD). She was in Heaven~!
When she left the elevator room (she later found it out to be) all happy and round with food, she was not expecting ugly scruffy big people to be glaring at her as soon as she stepped into a huge hall full (or not so full) of hunter applicants.
In fact, she didn't even notice anyone else's presence until she walk right into a huge man (fatter than the cook guy) with a box shaped nose.
"Oof!" she exclaimed, falling onto her ass, "Watch where you're going fat guy!"
The fat guy sweat dropped and muttered something about Bratz (weren't those some kind of barbie doll or something?).
"I should sue you for bumping into me! Do you even know who I am?! I'm the future Queen of Unicorns! Stupid asshole!" She roared, " but I guess I can forgive you if you say that you believe that unicorns are real."
She stared at him pointedly.
...
She waited.
...
She tapped her foot on the ground impatiently.
...
"Well?"
"Erm," The fat guy interlocked his fingers nervously, "I believe that unicorns are real?" He starting to sweat up a storm. Man, little girls dressed up as unicorn's are scary!
"Good!" Fai said brightly, "I'm happy that we both believe that unicorns are real! I'm Fai! What's your name?!"
"Uhh... I'm Tompa."
"Wow, cool name! That is like so unique! Bye, I'm gonna go now!" She said with sparkles surrounding her face, waving at Tompa as she retreated into the growing crowd of hunter applicants.
And this whole time, the only thought that occupied Tompa's mind was; Shit, I should avoid kids dressed up for halloween next time.
For the next few hours, Fai mopped around in a random corner seemingly sleeping.
The truth was, she was actually spying on all the hunter applicants and deciding on their worth. Or rather, if they were good candidates to join her 'Awesome people who believe in unicorn's club'.
So far only two people passed her eyeball scanning test.
The first one was a weird looking clown guy that had red hair. Clowns are supppsed to like little kids and stuff... so he must believe in unicorns.
The other one was a little boy about her age (or the age she was supposed to look like). He had cool fluffy white hair, so he automatically passed.
Now, to the part of convincing them to join her club. But of course, they have to actually pass the hunter exam to join her club.
Anyways, she took it upon herslf the ask the clown wannabe (or maybe he was already a clown? Who knows) to join her club first. Their conversation went something like this:
''Hello Mr. clown wannabe. Do you want to join my 'awesome people who believe in unicorns' club?''
''...''
''Of course you have to pass the hunter exam first though...''
''...''
''you believe in unicorns right?''
''...''
In the end he just smiled creepily at her and walked away.
Umm... maybe he was mute or deaf or something? Maybe thats why he walked way without answering her? (or maybe he, like everyone else thought she was batshit crazy?)
Anyways, she did not want a mute/deaf person in her club, so she soon gave up on him.
Next target... ah, there he is! The white fluffly haired kid!
''Hi! I'm Fai! Would you like to join my 'awesome people who believe in unicorn's club?''
He blinked at her.
''What?''
''Whats your name?''
''Why should I tell you?''
'' Because we are gonna become best unicorn buds someday!''
...
''You're weird.''
''Common! Just tell me your name! I told you mine!''
...
...
...
She gave him an ernest look
...
...
...
''I'm Killua.''
Yep and I'm just gonna end it here. In terms of length... eh... not too bad. Could have done better, but oh well.
Hope you people (cats, dogs, aliens, or whatever species you are) enjoyed the story!
Please review (and fave and follow!)
And R&R! Whatever the hell that is... anyways...
I like constructive criticism!
And... umm... long live unicorns?
Bwahahahahaha! See you in the next chapter... er... in like a loooooonnnng time? I am a lazy author.