I wrote three stories which turned into a trilogy even though that was never my intent... mostly because I wrote them out of order. I apologize for any headaches caused by my attempts to explain how it all happened.

Third in the Accidental Trilogy

This was written as a sort of sequel to 'Enciente'... it became a trilogy when I couldn't keep myself from using a couple of elements from 'Healing'.

oxo

Disclaimer: Paramount - if they knew what to do with them, they wouldn't get so ticked about our little efforts.

Dying of the Light
By E. Wallace
1999

Part 1

Diagnosis

Captain Jean-Luc Picard strode purposefully down the corridor. He was hungry, and his lunch date was late. The computer had informed him that his wayward wife was in Med Lab 2. He wasn't really surprised. It was just like her to forget all about time - and food - when she was wrapped up in her research. Rounding the corner, he nearly collided with Alyssa Ogawa.

Alyssa's eyes widened in surprise, then she glanced quickly over her shoulder. Toward Med Lab 2. "Captain... um, can I... help you?"

A prickle of unease skittered across the back of his neck. Alyssa always treated him with the respect and deference due the ship's captain, but he had never intimidated her. Her stammered greeting was out of character.

"Thank you, Alyssa, no." He inclined his head toward the doors she had obviously just exited. "I'm looking for Beverly."

Indecision flashed across her face. Now, he knew something was wrong. The young nurse was fiercely loyal to Beverly, and she was obviously worried about betraying a confidence. He spared her the ordeal, leaving her standing in the corridor as he entered the lab.

Beverly sat on the edge of the bio-bed, watching intently as Selar waved an odd looking instrument over her. "Alyssa, did you - " She broke off as she looked up and saw her husband in the doorway. "Jean-Luc, what are you doing here?"

Jean-Luc eyed her anxiously. "I was about to ask you the same thing. Are you all right?" He looked pointedly at the instrument in Selar's hand.

Beverly nodded to her assistant and the Vulcan left without a word. "Jean-Luc, I...," she hesitated, raking a hand through her auburn hair. Sighing, she started again. "I need to tell you something. Will you sit with me?"

He crossed the room with leaden feet, trying to quell his instinctive fear that this was not good news. Levering himself up on the biobed, he searched her face. She wasn't pale; she wasn't flushed; she looked fine. She certainly didn't look sick.

She picked up his hand, lacing their fingers together. "I'm waiting for the results from a couple of tests, but I know what they will tell me. I'm in the early stages of Khdryan's Disease."

Jean-Luc's heart sank until he realized he had no idea what she was talking about. "All right," he paused to clear his throat. "I've never heard of it."

"It's a neuro-muscular disease. A rather rare one."

"What do we do about it?"

Beverly smiled at his use of the word 'we'. Even after thirty years of friendship, marriage had brought them closer than they had ever imagined being. Which made this new development even harder. "Not too much, really. There are treatments that inhibit the disease somewhat, but there's not a lot of research being done on it."

His hand tightened around hers. Seeing her grimace, he forced himself to relax his grip. "What you're saying is there's no cure." She nodded. "What exactly does that mean?" He was afraid of the answer, even though he knew that 'no cure' didn't necessarily equal 'terminal'.

"It means I'll get tired more easily. It means large expenditures of energy will be harder to recoup. There will be some bad days."

She steeled herself to say what came next. Words that had yet to be said aloud. The moment they were spoken, this would all be real. There would be no going back, no ignoring symptoms as she had for weeks. Telling him meant she would have to start dealing with the situation. "Long term prognosis - a year, maybe a little more, depending on how I respond to treatments."

The color drained from Jean-Luc's face as he forced himself to understand. A year? A year until what? Until the disease would run its course and then she would be fine? Or a year until... 'No!' his mind screamed. 'This can't be happening! Not to us - not to her!' "There has to be something we can do," he insisted, pushing away the terrifying image in his mind.

Placing a gentle hand to his cheek, Beverly turned him to face her. "It won't be that bad. It won't be terribly debilitating until the last couple of months. I'll probably have to give up my position as Chief Medical Officer sooner rather than later, but then, not having to run around Sickbay will help me conserve energy. I might even..."

"Don't talk like that!" he cut in, pulling away from her to pace anxiously. "You said there was research."

"That's not a viable option," she sighed, regretting the distance he had put between them even though she knew it was only temporary. She rose slowly then busied herself putting away instruments. Her voice took on a matter-of-fact tone. "The disease is too rare to warrant major research support. They used to call them 'orphan' diseases, ones that just don't affect enough people to make research worthwhile."

"How can you be so calm?" Jean-Luc shouted, catching her arm. "You can't just accept it. You have to fight this. Don't just stand there giving me a dissertation on medical research. Why am I the only one here yelling?"

"Because if I start screaming, I won't stop!" she suddenly shouted back. "I'm the one who's losing everything! I'm the one who won't be here to grow old with you! I'm the one who won't be here to help Renee with her homework, to see her first recital, her first date! I'm the one who won't be here to see Renee do anything!" She lost her battle for control as tears streamed down her face.

Tenderly, Jean-Luc gathered her in his arms, holding her as they both cried. Life wasn't fair, they both knew that, but this was too much. Fear and stubborn pride had kept them apart for so long. How could Fate have meant for them to be together only to do this?

The storm raged within them for several minutes then slowly abated. Stroking her hair, Jean-Luc murmured, "I'm sorry I shouted. I'm sorry I reacted so badly. I'm sorry I - "

Beverly drew back enough to place a finger over his lips. "It doesn't matter." She looked around, running a hand through her hair. "I need to get out of here. I don't want to be a doctor today and certainly not a patient."

He wiped away the last of her tears. "I don't think Dr. Selar will have any trouble covering for you. Why don't you, Renee and I spend the afternoon together, just the three of us?"

Beverly's eyes widened. "My God, Jean-Luc, how are we going to tell her?"

He pulled her close again. "We don't have to tell anybody anything right now. We'll find a way to deal with it then deal with everyone else." He kissed her forehead. "Come on, let's take our daughter to lunch."

oxo

Renee had been delighted when not one, but both, of her parents had come to pick her up early. Her exuberance was just the right temporary diversion they had needed to let the worst of the shock subside.

Jean-Luc gazed lovingly at the two figures asleep on the couch. Beverly had barely outlasted Renee, and neither of them had finished the bedtime story.

He marveled at the way his life had changed in the last few years. Fear had wielded control over so much of his life and Beverly's. She had feared opening herself to him only to lose him the way she had lost Jack. He, on the other hand, had been afraid of pushing her too far, too fast. It had taken a life threatening experience to convince her that any time together was worth the risk. Illness had brought them together and would now tear them apart. The cruel irony was not lost on him.

Beverly could recount most of the details of their wedding day, but Jean-Luc remembered only her. He had truly believed he couldn't be any happier - right up to the day Beverly told him she was pregnant. That he remembered vividly.

Renee's arrival was the perfect addition to their lives. Any thoughts of 'continuing the Picard male line' evaporated the moment she appeared, and he discovered that the words 'it's a girl' were the sweetest words he could ever have hoped to hear. Every day with Beverly and Renee was filled with joy and wonder.

Now it was all just supposed to end?

He tucked Renee into bed and then did the same for his wife. Although Beverly slept peacefully in the protective circle of his arms, for Jean-Luc, sleep was impossible. He had waited thirty years for her; he wasn't going to let her go easily.

tbc