Hello my fellow readers. Ok to anyone who already read this story I'm sorry. But the last time I posted it they deleted my story for inappropriateness I guess. So I went through and changed a few things. It is still the same story plot and what not just a few changed words is all.
!WARNIG! YAOI! MEANS BOY X BOY. DO NOT LIKE DO NOT READ.
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO!
COLD
Two weeks! It's been two whole weeks since we broke up and not one word. Not a text, phone call or e-mail from my red head. Sometimes I wonder if this was what he wanted. Maybe he pushed me away and never told me about his past because he never loved me. Maybe he was just using me. Maybe all he wanted was sex. It wouldn't be the first time. But this time it felt so real. So special, as if we were meant to be. A fairytale. I guess he didn't feel the same.
Not a day goes by that I don't regret having yelled at him that day. I shouldn't have lost my temper. After all I can't expect the stoic red head to express everything to me. I knew from the beginning he kept a lot to himself. I feel like such an idiot. And now I don't know what to do.
I've been having nightmares about that day lately. I was told about what had happened in his past by Sakura. About my argument with Gaara that ended it all. I still remember the look I his eyes when I called him a cold-blooded bastard. I didn't mean to, I just felt so betrayed and hurt. But his eyes, they expressed so much then. I feel so terrible about it now.
I walked into the café to have brunch with Sakura. She said she had something important to tell me. I didn't know what but she sounded worried and said it was urgent.
She was already sitting at a table holding a cup of tea. She had a distant look in her eyes. She came back after I cleared my throat and sat across from her. "Hey Sakura. What's wrong? Are you ok?" I asked her worriedly, she then looked up at me with sad eyes. "Naruto there's no easy way of telling you this. I just found out last night. It was an accident I didn't mean to pry on Kiba and Kankuro's conversation. But as soon as they mentioned Gaara's name I couldn't help it. It's about his past."
She stopped and looked down at her tea. Meanwhile I was debating whether to let her continue or not. Do I really want to know? Is it as bad as she is making it seem so far?
She was probably waiting for me to decide for she didn't say anything.
My curiosity got the best of me. "Go on Sakura, tell me." She swallowed hard and I was starting to get fearful. I could feel my hands getting clammy.
"Well it's just. You remember how it was all over the news about the brother-in-law of Suna's mayor was murdered in his home about 8 years ago?"
I was getting a little more scared with each word. "Yeah I remember. What about it?"
"Then you should also remember how they never caught the killer."
"Yeah there wasn't enough evidence to go off of. Seriously Sakura just spit it out. You're really starting to scare me!" and without a seconds hesitation she blurted it out, "It was Gaara."
After that everything just stopped. I couldn't hear anything but my heart pounding in my chest. I was frozen along with the time. Everything froze. Isn't this something you should tell your partner of 3 years!? I could feel myself starting to shake.
"No, it's not true. I refuse to believe it!" I could already see my sight was blurring from the tears that threatened to fall.
"I heard them Naruto. Kankuro said he was never a suspect because no one knew he existed so close to the family. To the mayor he was the bastard child that killed his wife just by being born. That's why we don't know about the mayor having a third child. Only two."
After that I couldn't take anymore. How could he keep this from me!? If they somehow found him out! Doesn't he realize the danger they could be in!?
I pushed my chair back and stormed out of the café. I went straight home intending on confronting Gaara about it. When I got home he was sitting on the couch, guitar on his lap and a piece of paper on the coffee table. Probably writing a song. I slammed the door shut as hard as I could making everything on the wall shake. With that Gaara stopped what he was writing and looked up at me. He then just went back to what he was doing as if it didn't matter to him. The nerve! He won't even ask what's wrong!? He's such a selfish prick sometime. Sometimes he is just stuck on his music. He hasn't even been paying much attention to me lately. Oh but he sure does remember I exist when he gets horny then Naruto is here! This was the last straw.
I balled my hands into fists and clenched my teeth together taking in deep breaths through my nose to try and calm myself down and it didn't seem to help at all.
"How is it you didn't tell me about what happened between you and your uncle? How you killed him?" after that he stopped what he was writing and his eyes seemed to widen a fraction.
"Don't you think this is something I deserve to know? I mean what else could you have done and never told me? For all I know the late night band practice could be an excuse!" I was yelling now "How do I know you aren't fucking someone behind my back?"
To be honest this was what scared me the most. What if he is cheating on me? The murder, well there are two sides to every story but he kept it from me. How do I know he isn't lying to me about something else? The murder I can take, but cheating? My heart wouldn't be able to take it. Gaara didn't say anything. He just kept starring at his paper and his hand was clenching his pencil tightly.
"You're such a cold-blooded bastard. You never cared about me! All you've cared about was your music." I whispered the last part.
That's when I looked at his face; his eyes were filled with pure sadness and regret. But I was still far too angry to even comprehend what was going on. "You've never even told me you love me! Not once! And yet I've poured my heart out to you!"
I clutched my chest over my heart not caring I was crying and sounding like an over-dramatic teenage girl.
No one told you to pour your heart out to anyone." Was what his response to me was.
And that's when I saw his eyes again, they'd changed. They were now hard and cold. I hated it. It took me so long to finally get that look out of his eyes.
"What?" was all I managed to whisper. It was barely audible to his ears. My heart then was shattered. That's when the doubt of him loving me reared its ugly face. "Then maybe I should just leave and we can be done!" I yelled in his face having now picked him up by the collar of his shirt dropping his guitar on the ground. But what pounded my heart into fine dust was his next statement, "Maybe you should."
He has said it so calmly, like he didn't even care if I left or not. With that last statement I let him go and threw my house keys on the coffee table and walked out the door having not come back to this day.
Here I am now lying on Sauske's couch feeling depressed and numb. All I wanted to do then was to die. To just close my eyes and never open them again, to let the darkness over come me for the rest of eternity. I love Gaara but he doesn't love me back. Nothing else matter to me anymore. Not living or even breathing. I haven't really eaten anything since then. I've lost a lot of weight and my eyes are sunken into my face. I've only eaten a bite of stuff and that's because Sauske practically forces it down my throat.
"UGH! Come on Naruto! How long are you going to sulk?" that was the most sympathy I was going to get from him. He isn't much to show his emotions, a lot like Gaara. And with that thought of Gaara again my heart throbbed heavily.
I didn't answer him, I haven't spoken one word since my fight with Gaara. "Hey! I know, let's go to this awesome new club that just opened. I'm supposed to meet a few people over there tonight why not join me?" I was too numb to even care he took me to his room and threw some clothes at me to wear. I didn't even notice what it was that he gave me, I just put them on.
Next thing I knew we were already at the club and Sauske was ordering us drinks. I then noticed there was a stage in the front of the club and there were some instruments and for some reason they looked familiar. But I couldn't place them. For a moment I thought I saw a flash of red and my hopes got up hoping it was my red head that I missed so much. But after looking around I didn't see him, I lost hope once again. Just then an announcer came on the microphone.
"What's up everybody! Are you all having a bitching time!?"
Everybody in the club yelled and whistled. "Ok well the band is now back from break and I'm told this is a new song, written by the very sexy guitarist himself as usual! It's for a special blonde haired someone! Let's hear it for Heat Wave!" everyone cheered and the lights came on pointing towards the stage.
My heart skipped a beat when I saw the band was Gaara's band. I couldn't believe it. No wonder the instruments were so familiar.
As soon as the singer Sasori started to sing everything began to fade away as I listened to the song my red head wrote. (Bold –Sasori, Underlined-Gaara,)(-Kankuro)
Looking back at me I see
That I never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you
I'm always wrapped up in
Things I cannot win
You are the antidote that gets me by
Something strong
Like a drug that gets me high
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so
Cold to you I'm sorry bout all the lies
Maybe in a different light
You can see me stand on my own again
Cause now I can see
You are the antidote that got me by
Something strong like a drug that got me high
What I really meant to say is
I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold
I never meant to be so cold
Gaara had made eye contact with me when the song first started as if knowing I was here the whole time. And when the guitar solo came on the stare was more intense. Then the next verse Gaara sang by himself while keeping eye contact with me singing to me right into my soul. Like it was slowly healing my shattered heart.
I never really wanted you to see
The screw up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me there's just no hope
I never meant to be so cold
With that verse I felt so much coming from him. That maybe he does care. That he does miss me
What I really meant to say (Say is I'm sorry for the way I am)
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold
What I really meant to say(Say is I'm sorry for the way I am)
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold
The crowd then gave a round of applause while some whistling. I was in shock. Did he really write that for me? Is he really apologizing? I had started to cry and didn't notice that the Dj had begun to play a song on a disc and Gaara had walked up to me. When I finally noticed he was standing a foot away from me. Almost as if he was scared to approach me any closer.
"Naruto" was all he whispered and I barely heard it unsure if he even said anything.
"Can we go somewhere to talk, please?" I couldn't help but nod my head. We walked out and he took me to the parking lot where he got on his Harley. He handed me his helmet and I got on.
He started the bike and I instantly remembered how much I missed the loud purr of the Harley when he was arriving home from practice or work. I then grabbed on to his torso and put my head on his shoulder. I missed being this close to him.
He drove us down a familiar path I then recognized to go to our home.
Well his home I guess now.
When we got pulled into the parking lot he put the kickstand on his bike and turned it off. We got off the bike and he took the helmet off my head. He tucked it under his arm and held his hand out as if asking permission to grab mine. I put my hand into his and let him lead me to the apartment we've lived in for 2 years. When we walked in I instantly recalled the slight smell of smoke from Gaara's bad habit of smoking inside. I really missed that smell. He closed the door and led us to the couch.
He then sat down next to me and pulled me into his lap.
I couldn't do anything but rest my head on his chest and breathe in the scent that was Gaara. I didn't want to ever be without him again. Guilt was gnawing at my insides when I noticed he too was thinner than before. He was already thin but now he was a bit thinner as well.
I then looked up at him and looked him in the eyes "I'm sorry Gaara. I should've never said those things to you. I didn't mean it. I love you Gaara I don't want to ever be without you again."
At this Gaara bent down and pressed his lips to mine gently.
"I love you too. And I don't blame you for saying those things. I know they are true, and I'll try better I promise. I don't want to be without you either. I missed you"
!WARNING!
BEGINNING OF LEMON!
Then I couldn't help it I leaned up and pressed our lips into a sweet passionate kiss. It started out slow at first then they seemed desperate. Gaara bit my bottom lip which caused me to gasp. He took this moment to stick his sweet muscle into my mouth and rub it against my own. All I could taste at the moment was Gaara and I couldn't have been any happier. I then turned myself around never breaking the kiss and straddled him. He then ran his hands down my sides and rested on my hips. He then lowered them and grabbed onto my ass and I couldn't help but moan. I missed this all so much.
He the stood up I wrapped my legs around his waist and he took us to the room never breaking the kiss.
He then laid us down on the bed not once breaking my legs grip on him. I then had to break our kiss to breathe in some much needed air. When I turned I noticed the moonlight was showing in through the window and danced across our bodies. Gaara took this moment to shower me with kisses down my neck and slide his hands up my shirt. I couldn't help but sigh at the intense pleasure I was receiving from him.
He then started to play with my nipples flicking them ever so often as he sucked my neck leaving a mark.
I couldn't help but moan and arch into his touch, it was starting to get to hot so I pushed him up a bit and took off my shirt. As soon as my shirt was gone Gaara wasted no time in showering my chest with wet kisses. He then took a now hard pebble into his mouth and flicked it with his tongue. I then clawed at his back trying to get his shirt off as well. I wanted to feel his skin on mine.
He soon figured out what I wanted to do and complied by taking off his shirt and throwing it in a random direction. He then came down and crashed our lips together. I then lifted my hips and rubbed against his awakening member. We both gasped at the feeling of the beautiful friction that we were making.
He then got up off of me and kissed my neck again and continued down to my chest and followed to my stomach. While he kissed my stomach he was unbuttoning and unzipping my pants. He then slid them down boxers and all and slid them off. He then threw them in a random direction as well. Gaara then looked down and starred at my naked form causing me to feel a bit self conscious. "You're perfect" he whispered to me causing me to blush. He then bent down and blew a little on my now weeping member causing it to jump a bit at the cool contact and I moaned. He them used his skillful tongue and licked the vein from base to tip causing me to shudder. He then took the tip into his mouth and rubbed his tongue flat on my tip causing ore fire to build in my groin.
I took a shaky breath and lifted my hips. Gaara took the hint and took my entire member into his mouth. It felt so warm, wet, and good. He took my member until it hit the back of his throat and he moaned causing vibrations to go through me which cause me to shudder and moan. I them closed my eyes only being able to feel the wonderful things Gaara was doing to me. At first he went at a slow pace and then started to go faster. After a while I felt a coiling in my stomach signaling I was going to release soon. Gaara could tell by how my breath started to get faster and shorter. He then gave one hard suck that caused me to release. I moaned out his name and grabbed the sheets trying to regain my breath. Gaara had swallowed all of what I gave him with greed and crawled off me to take off his own pants and boxers. He then reached over on the bed side table to grab the bottle of lube we kept there. He squirted some into his fingers and began to kiss me on my stomach again while slowly entering one finger into me. As he slid one finger in I sighed and he kept leaving feather light kisses. He then entered a second finger and began scissoring me. He then went up a bit and pulled me into a passionate kiss once again. He then added a third finger and began pumping his digits in and out until he brushed by my prostate. I then arched my back and yelled "GAARA" he took that opportunity to keep brushing that wonderful spot until I was rock hard again. He pulled his fingers out and I whined in protest. Gaara chuckled lightly and grabbed the bottle of lube once again only this time heavily coating his member. He climbed on top of me spreading my legs. He kissed me while he grabbed his engorged member and positioned it at my entrance. He slowly entered me causing me to wince a bit at the pain. No matter how many times we have done this it hurts because he is just so big. He barely had the tip in when I couldn't take it anymore. I then thrust my hips upward causing him to enter me in one swift movement. We both groaned at the feeling. It hurt but it felt so amazing at the same time. I missed him so much I didn't want to waste any more time to be connected to him. He waited for me to adjust for a moment and I wiggled my hips giving him the sign to move. He then started with slow thrusts at first, moving at different angles until he hit my sweet spot. I moaned loudly and he smirked. He kept hitting me at the same spot but at a low pace. "Mmmmnnnngh… sigh… Faster" I moaned out while nipping his ear lobe. He then started going faster and moaning in my ear as well. "You…feel…so…good…So…tight…ngh" I could feel myself about to have my second release and at the same time Gaara's thrusts started to get sloppy and I knew he was close as well. "Lets cum together" I whispered I his ear "Please" and with that I felt the tight coiling in my stomach "I… I'm gonna… aaaaaaagh GAARA" and with that I bit his shoulder and came on both of our stomachs and at the same time Gaara let out a throaty moan and came into me.
End Lemon
Never in my life had this felt so good. It felt so different, it felt amazing. We laid there in the afterglow. Gaara was still on top of me and I couldn't help but hug him as he laid there catching his breath. He then pulled out of me and we both groaned. He rolled onto his side next to me and flipped me to my side he grabbed me from behind and held me. "I love you Naruto. I never want to be without you again. I am nothing without you. You are my everything."
I now felt happy. Happier than I ever had. It was then that I knew he did love me, he always has and always will.
"I love you too Gar. You mean more to me than my own life."