Authors Note: Not sure where I'm going with this, but it got stuck in my head so I decided to write it out. It's the beginning and if you want to continue it, let me know.

Disclaimer: Yes. It's true. I own Ranma ½, for I am Takahashi! What's that you say? Takahashi is an older Japanese woman and I'm a young American boy? Yeah, I know. Ya see, I fell in the spring of drowned manga creator... not buyin' that, eh. Well bullocks.

New news is good news! - This one shot has been folded into To Become a God. I liked the concept and where it goes, so I'm using it.

The Setup

Ranma walked along a fence in Nerima, caught up in is own thoughts. Why was his life so damn complicated and chaotic. What was it that made it like that. Well, there were the people, involved with him, and the bonds of law and honor of course. But why must it be this way.

First there was his mother, Nodoka. A traditional Japanese woman who seemed to lack common sense and sanity. To start with, she had married his father, Genma. Then she had allowed Genma to take her only son away at a young age and accepted a seppuku contract in his place to make him a "man amongst men". Sadly her idea of a manly man was a pervert.

Then there was Genma. Fat, lazy bastard had dragged Ranma off on a ten year training journey that, while effective, was more a ten year torture trip. Fighting his own father for food, running from wolves with all there possessions as well as his father on his back, tied to the back of a moving train, thrown off cliff faces to learn how to fall, sold off as a fiance to feed his fathers stomach more times than he could count, neko-ken, curse. Most of Ranma's own problems could be traced back to the fat panda.

The Fiance Brigade. Ukyo, Shampoo, and Akane. Ukyo had been his best childhood friend, even if he had thought she was a boy at the time. Genma had stolen her dowry and ditched her on the side of the road. She had been stripped of her femininity and forced to live as a boy by her father. Honor demanded she either kill him and Genma, marry him, or be cast out of her family a ronin.

Shampoo was his own fault. He should have made Genma fight his own challenge after he'd eaten the prize for the tournament at the amazon village. Instead he'd battled shampoo, in his cursed form, and won. By the law of her village she swore to hunt Ranma-chan to the ends of the world and kill her. Then he'd defeated her by accident as a guy, and by law she had to marry him. He was responsible for her getting cursed to turn into a c-c-c... those things that chase mice. That wouldn't be so bad, but the nut bar had actually fallen in love with him.

Akane was a different kettle of fish. She hated him. He thought once that he had loved her. He'd killed a freaking GOD for her. But did it matter. Hell no. she treated him like shit. Unfortunately, family honor demanded he marry the abusive twit. A promise to join the schools made between Soun and Genma before either had been born.

Then there were the rivals. Oh yes, can't forget the bloody rivals. Moose, an amazon male who's only ambition in life was to kill Ranma and take Shampoo as his wife. Lets forget that Shampoo hates him as much as Akane hates Ranma. The blind hidden weapons master believed that if he killed Ranma, Shampoo would proclaim her love for him.

Ryoga, the eternally lost boy. Cursed to turn into Akane's pet piglet. Everything that went wrong in his life was, naturally, Ranma's fault. He wanted Akane. He could have her for all Ranma cared. She treated him better anyway, in cursed form or not.

Then there was the delusional Tatewaki Kuno...

"Hold Varlet!"

Ah! Speak of the devil. Ranma ceased his increasingly angry introspection.

"Come then, foul sorcerer, I the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High shall save the tigress Akane Tendo, and the Pig-Tailed Goddess from your Vile clutches! Have at thee!"

Ranma flipped lazily over the kendoists initial attack and prepared to put him down, again, when suddenly he had a idea. It was so crazy it might just work.

"Ah! sempi, at last I've found you! I require help that only one as noble and powerful as you can give!" Ranma shouted in his best Kunoese. Kuno stopped dead in his tracks, stupefied.

"Huh?"

"Indeed! Listen closely sempi, for I do not know how much time I have. I have been placed under an enchantment to make me behave as the beast you thought me to be. The true foul sorcerer is none other than Genma Saotome!"

"Ha! That I would believe such lies." Kuno scoffed.

"But it is true Lord Kuno!" Ranma kicked it up a notch, "The demon sought gain himself a dojo from Soun Tendo by forcing the fierce tigress Akane and this unworthy one to wed against our will. When I refused, he placed a most horrible enchantment on me to force my pursuit of her."

"But what of the pig-tailed girl? Why do you hold her in your clutches?"

Ranma smirked to himself inwardly. The fool was listening. "My twin sister! Alas, for it is a most horrible story!"

"Twin Sister!" Kuno shouted in shock

"Indeed! I broke his enchantment upon me most recently and he restored it by sacrificing my beloved twin sister."

"Sacrifice! The Pig-Tailed Goddess!" Tatewaki exclaimed in a rage.

"He sealed away her soul and imprisoned her form within my own. It can now only be viewed when I am hit with cold water. I can prove it to you." Ranma exclaimed. This was the tricky part. "I require your help to save us all. We need to break the enchantments on myself and the rest of the Tendo household, as well as separate my sisters body from my own and recover her very soul!"

Tatewaki gazed at Ranma speculatively. "Such a story is impossible to accept..."

"I can prove it to you sempi. Just give me a chance!" Ranma pleaded with what he hoped sounded a desperate voice.

"I will allow you to try, but I warn you Saotome, if you are lying..."

"Please, you must save my sister the Pig-tailed Girl!" Ranma hopped the fence and walked up to the canal on the other side. Kuno followed. "Watch closely sempi." Ranma stepped into the water and changed into his cursed form.

"Pig-Tailed Girl!" Kuno exclaimed

"Alas no, sempi. Merely her body for the Foul Sorcerer, Genma Saotome, has done this. I may return to my own body with warm water." Ranma pulled a thermos out of stuff space and poured it over her head after stepping out of the canal, instantly reverting to his male form. "Only you can save us from this evil spell so that she may shower her affection upon you." Please let it work prayed Ranma

"This is so... it cannot be..." Kuno looked gob smacked. Ranma had him, hook, line, and sinker. Now to cap the performance.

"AAAARGH!" Ranma clutched at his head, falling to his knees. "The spell! I can not fight it much longer!" he started bringing up his battle aura, then pushing it down so that a blue light seemed to flicker about his body. "Sempi! You must break Genma's spell! But beware, for he is a sneaky evil, and will use others to shield himself. The foul sorcerer can change his form to that of a large pandaAAAAHHH!" He brought his aura up to the visible spectrum, ringing himself in blue light, "I can hold it back no more! Please Lord Kuno!" suddenly Ranma flared his aura out a foot from his body and blanked his face, then drew his aura back into himself before looking up at Kuno with his trademark smirk.

"So young Saotome thinks to get help in his plight does he." Ranma said in his best evil voice. "Well it won't work. Master Genma will prevail." With that Ranma launched himself at Kuno and pummeled him into unconsciousness. Hope that worked he thought as he walked away, a spring in his step.