Reflecting Dark
by marzipan77
SG-1
GEN
Rated T+, M maybe
Tag to The Broca Divide
Warning: Nasty, dark alpha-male behavior ahead
Feedback: please?
He clenched his hands into tight fists and felt his shoulders hunch protectively. He could feel it, as if they still stood too close; if he turned his head – just a little – they'd be there, hot breath gusting over his face. He shivered and wrapped his arms around his sore ribs. Why did they have to walk behind him? He tucked his hands against his body, unwilling to reach up to finger the mark on the side of his neck, the imprint of clutching fingers on his hips, the deep bruise where a boot had caught him along his hip-bone. With all of his other injuries, why did those blaze with pain so fiercely, as if they were radioactive, glowing, visible through his clothes? Maybe they were – the glares from two sets of eyes seemed to pick them out quite easily.
The solid bulk of Teal'c moved closer and Daniel ducked his head, letting his dirty, matted hair fall forward towards his face. This man – this alien – the one he should hate the most – how had he become Daniel's protector? God, he hated irony. Daniel snorted to himself, fighting to make his tired legs take him, one step at a time, towards home.
He barely noticed Jack's teasing banter with Sam until the words finally registered. 'Liar!' he wanted to scream, but tightened his lips before the word could escape. Every moment of the past 36 hours flashed painfully across the screen of Daniel's mind. You remember, Jack. We all remember. We just wish we didn't.
"Do you need assistance, Daniel Jackson?"
He tried to control it, but his body flinched sideways at the murmured question, away from the looming presence on his left and right into the path of one lying colonel. Daniel held himself still under Jack's hands, knowing that any attempt to pull away would just make things worse.
"Hey, you okay?"
Great. Couldn't be better, obviously. Daniel kept his head down as he felt the strong hands steady him until he could regain his balance. "Fine. I'm fine," he finally whispered. "Just tired."
The fingers tightened for an instant before both hands smoothed up towards Daniel's shoulders, turning him to face one of the two men Daniel wanted to avoid at all costs. He felt one hand move to the side of his neck and he shivered again as it brushed across the tender skin there. A thumb under his chin forced his head up and Daniel gritted his teeth and forced his eyes to meet the dark ones in front of him.
"Just a little farther to the Stargate, and then we'll let that feisty little doctor take care of you." Daniel had no idea what Jack saw in his eyes, but Jack's were filled with worry and regret, the lines creasing their edges just a little deeper, a little broader, than they were even a few days ago.
Daniel nodded, forcing a deep breath into his lungs, ignoring the pain.
Jack smiled tightly and released him. "Good."
He stumbled backwards as Jack turned away, the colonel's orders flying back to the men who had accompanied them. He righted himself and moved off, Jack's words drifting unheeded around him until an answering voice at his back cut through the haze and he stumbled again. This time he allowed the warm bulk of the Jaffa to help shore up his physical and emotional defenses, the large hand against his shoulder somehow forming a conduit channeling security and compassion. Jack was back to normal, so was Sam and… the others. He could trust them again, he repeated to himself, those dark places he'd glimpsed inside them were buried deep, forgotten, no more an indication of their true natures than Daniel's own behavior had been. Nothing had changed.
The tree-line came up quickly and Daniel stopped and turned, blinking up into the bright sun of the light side for a moment before he allowed Teal'c to urge him into the darkness that veiled the Stargate. As his boot broke the shadowy plane he sensed the blackness ooze around him, dimming the light, drawing him back into the easy concealment that hid all those inner demons that the 'Touched' virus had revealed. He slowed and watched the rigid figures pass by, and felt the tension in his chest ease as they were each swallowed by the silent forest.
~o~
The infirmary was a haven of quiet within the frenzied activity of the base and Daniel closed his eyes, reveling in his solitude as he rested against the edge of the bed. Taking one step from the dark side of another world and walking into the frenetic activity and noise of the base had left him startled and unfocused – hurrying soldiers, messages broadcast from hallway speakers, shouted orders and replies – the constant battering of touch and sound during the journey from the embarkation room to this bed with had been nearly unbearable. The rest of the team had been called to the briefing room just after their arrival, and now, with the curtain pulled around the bed, Daniel could finally loosen his hold on his reactions.
The curtain flew back. "Okay, Doctor Jackson, let's take a look."
Well, maybe not quite yet. He frowned at the small-statured woman who stood before him. She must be brilliant to have figured out the cure to the Touched disease so quickly. When he and Teal'c had left for the planet the infirmary, the holding cells, the bunkrooms – they'd all been full of shouting, aggressive men and women, promising violence to everyone in their paths, drooling and panting, and now only a few bandaged bodies remained here as reminders of the ordeal. Doctor Janet Frasier had taken the few clues that she had and engineered a way to save the lives and sanity of everyone on the base - how was he going to… Daniel felt his headache throb heavy and thick, dulling his mind and tightening his stomach.
Her dark gaze roamed over him, clinically taking in his shredded pants, his pale and bloody skin visible between the gaps, his ripped and filthy shirt, every bruise and cut scattered over arms and face. He attempted a smile and felt the scab on his lip pull against the movement.
"You're a mess," she announced, a hint of warmth taking away the smart of her blunt assessment.
"Yeah," he agreed.
She chuckled at his tired sigh and patted him on one knee. "Well, we're clearly not going to be able to save this uniform, so why don't I put it out of its misery so I can get to your injuries with the least amount of moaning and groaning?" She grabbed a pair of Lister scissors and flashed them playfully in front of him.
"Um, you can't see enough of my skin like this?" Daniel plucked at the ragged edge of his black t-shirt. Don't. Looking deeper would bring too much into the light.
The doctor raised her eyebrows and Daniel saw a flicker of concern in her eyes. "Well I'm certainly not going to try to examine you through your clothes, Doctor Jackson."
"Daniel."
A smile at the easy gesture of friendship brightened her tired face. "Daniel. Let me guess – you've never had a female doctor before."
Daniel sat up straighter, quickly realizing how difficult it might be for this small woman among a base full of alpha males. "No- I didn't mean-" Panic shook him. He hadn't thought, hadn't – how could he keep her from seeing without –
"Hey."
Her tiny hand felt cool against his cheek. Daniel surfaced from his twisted thoughts and struggled to focus on her face.
"Daniel. What's going on?"