Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. The original content, ideas and intellectual property of this story is owned by incubabe80.

This story is Rated M for language, adult content, and lemons. So if you are not allowed to vote or buy cigarettes, I suggest going elsewhere.

Please note that this story contains underage drinking and sexual activity. A rape scene is also in the story. I am giving you all a fair warning.

This is my first Fanfiction story. So please excuse my horrible editing. I have tried my very best to correct myself.

The story will be Bella's point of view for the most part.

"However confused the scene of our life appears, however torn we may be who now do face that scene, it can be faced, and we can go on to be whole." Muriel Rukeyser

Chapter 1

-This is so our song-

It was the end of the summer. Emmett my brother thought it only appropriate to end it with a bang. So the only appropriate way to do that was to invite all the jocks and their fucking whore cheerleading girlfriends to our house for a party.

Charlie our dad was working on a case out of town in Seattle.

Rene our mother was somewhere in California attending some "Make Yourself Rich" seminar. Well that is what she told us at least.

Em had agreed that I could invite my best friend Alice Cullen to the party. With the condition that we stay out of the way and not drink more than a beer.

Alice and I would be the only two sophomores here. I guess it was kinda by default as I did live here.

"Bells dad will fucking kill me if he finds out that I let you drink. He barely agreed to this because he trusts me". Em said with a smirk.

Charlie had agreed to let Emmett have a max of 6 people over the house. My dad really trusted Em. He was overall a good kid. He jock, popular, with good grades and had the hottest girlfriend at Forks High School, Rosalie Hale.

That night there had been about 30 people over our house. The weather was nice. It had rained earlier in the day.

Everyone was hanging out on the back porch. The sliding door to the kitchen was left open purposely. So there was easy access to and from the alcohol that was on the kitchen counter.

Alice and I had been sneaking shots of tequila whenever Em was too busy entertaining Rose. This lucky for us had been that whole entire night.

So needless to say, I was maybe a bit more buzzed that I would have wanted to be at this point.

Alice on the other hand was in between asleep and asleep in the family room. Which was a break from the way she had been acting earlier in the evening.

Every time an upbeat song would come on she would squeal and say "Bella this is so our song". I had rolled my eyes when she thought that Miley Cyrus's song "Party in the USA" was our song.

Fuck Miley Cyrus!

I was currently outside with Em, Rose, Mike, Eric, Jasper, James and Jake. We were all sitting around the bone fire in a circle

I could not keep my eyes off of him. Man was he beautiful.

He was sitting directly in front of me and I was sneaking glances at him every time I had the chance.

"So is it a deal dude or what", I heard Eric say to the guys. "Yeah we will not date or hook up with any freshmen or sophomores, unless of course they have a nice rack", Mike said. "Deal", they all agreed as they bumped fist.

Except of course for Emmett, he was already dating head Cheerleader Rosalie.

I rolled my eyes and thought about what a hypocrite he was being at that moment. We had been hooking up all summer behind every ones back and I was barely going to be a sophomore this coming week. I mean technically we were not dating just making out whenever we had the chance and lately that had been everyday this summer. He was one of my brothers best friends and was here 24/7.

But my hopes of us ever going public would never happen.

It was after midnight and I pouring myself yet another tequila shot. I was too busy licking my hand and adding salt to it to notice the guys had come into the kitchen.

I shot my head back and took it like a champ. I didn't even suck on the lime at the end.

"Bella, Bella my girl wow you do surprise me every single day".

I could feel his breath in the back of my neck and his tongue at the top of my ear. I swear I even felt his press his dick right above my ass.

Shivers shot trough my body and I closed my eyes to try to savor this moment.

My body began responding to him. I had to hold my arms over my chest as to hide the evidence.

Traitor body!

"So meet you in the guest room in 10 minutes, right?" he whispered so low that I could barely hear.

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. But my head nodded yes.

Traitor head!

All the guys got their alcohol refills and went back out to the porch and sat around the fire once more.

As soon as he was out of sight I ran upstairs and locked myself in my bathroom. I took one quick look at myself and cleaned the mascara that was now under my eyes. I brushed my hair and teeth. I put more deodorant on. I even quickly changed my underwear.

Yes I did. Just in case.

I put on some black and red floral print satin low rise undies.

I had read in Cosmo that wearing red meant lust and that black meant business.

So I decided on both colors.

I stayed in my bathroom for what seemed like an eternity.

I looked down at my cell and noticed it was time.

My heart began to race double time.

As I opened the door from the bathroom into my room, I took another glance of myself in the mirror as I walked by.

The jeans shorts I wore were tight and right below my butt checks. I was wearing a blood red colored spaghetti strap shirt that showed my belly button and made my boobs look even more perky and plump than usual and I was not wearing a bra.

As I took one last look into the mirror, I agreed that yeah I would do me.

I slowly opened my door and walked across the hall into the guest room and took a deep breath.

"Hello, is anyone in here?" I whispered into the dark room.

No response

The guestroom faced the back of the house and I could hear the muffled music and a bit of the back porch light was coming in through the sheer gold curtains.

I sat on the bed that was leaned up against the right side of the bedroom.

My nervous were getting the best of me. So I went over to the window and noticed that there was maybe about 15 people left outside.

The bone fire was still burning but no one was sitting around it anymore

Huh, I wonder where they all went.

I opened the door to the guest room and could hear them downstairs. They were having a beer bong challenge.

"Jasper, Jasper, Jasper", they screamed out.

I rolled my eyes and looked at my phone and noticed that he was 20 minutes late.

I closed my eyes and walked out a bit relieved.

I made my way down the stairs and stopped half ways down and looked over to my left to the family room over at the now empty sofa.

Alice!

As I began to panic, I walked faster down the stairs.

I froze at the landing in shock.

Alice was standing in the middle of the kitchen surrounded by all the jocks.

The only reason I was able to see her was because she was standing on top of our kitchen island.

Alice's had one hand on the beer bong and the other hand pumping into the air. Everyone began chanting her name. "Alice, Alice, Alice".

Cheers erupted and Alice was declared the champion.

Who knew that little pixie could drink as much as those jocks.

"Alice I thought you were passed out on the couch in the living room" I said.

"Well I woke up because Jasper had accidentally sat on my legs. He claims he didn't see me lying there. We started talking and he double dared me to a beer bong challenge against him and the rest is history", she shrugged with a smirk on her face.

She looked at Jasper and stuck her tongue out at him.

"Ahh I let you win Ali don't let it get to your head. Plus I have been drinking all night so it was totally not fair". He said to her.

"Well I will have you know Mr. Hale" she pointed at him" that me and Bella here have been drin-".

"Alice stop!" I shoved her

Jasper and the other guys looked at her and smiled.

Em luckily had not heard what she said.

I pleaded with my eyes for them not to tell my brother. They nodded and went about it like nothing had been said.

"Sorry Bella It was just that Jasper makes me think and do things I normally wouldn't," she said with her head lowered.

Been there done that I thought.

"S'okay Al…..hey what time does Edward get home tomorrow from Chicago?" I said as I tried to change the subject.

"Carlisle and Esme said his flight arrives at 6pm. Why did you wanna come with us?"

"Yes, can I? I've really missed him you know." I said honestly

Edward and Alice had been my neighbors since I could remember.

Edward held a special place in my heart. One night we played spin the bottle in the Cullen's basement and Edward gave me my first real kiss.

I always had a small crush on him, but never more than that.

At the end of middle school Edward had been accepted to a very exclusive music school in Chicago. He had been gone since his freshman year and only came on holidays because the school ran all year round. The school only allowed very minimal contact with the outside world.

He did email from time to time but not as often as I wished he did.

Right around May he got involved with a junior at his school named Kate. He was only a sophomore. Things between them had gotten pretty serious from what little I could gather from Alice.

But Edward began to neglect school and music. He was put on probation. He had 6 weeks to bring his grades up and when he didn't do it. The Cullen's got a call that Edward was being expelled from school.

So now he was coming home and was going to be attending Forks High with the rest of us slackers.

Lucky him.

An hour had quickly passed and I was getting tired.

Alice had excused herself about a half hour ago. She said she was not feeling well.

The effects of the beer bong I presumed.

As on cue that last song of the night began to play.

Everyone knew that this song was the song that meant get the fuck out without anyone having to say it.

"Hey dude where are Jasper and Eric?" James asked Jake and Mike

"This is so our song" James said rather loudly to the guys

And then the song began:

Bartender I really did it this time
Broke my parole to have a good time
When I got home it was 6 AM
The door was locked so I kicked it in

She was trippin on the bills
I think she was high on some pills
She threw my shit out into the yard
Then she called me a bum and slapped me real hard

And in my drunken stuper
I did what I should have never done
And now I'm sittin here, talking to you
Drunk and on the run

I'm sittin at a bar on the inside
Waiting for my ride on the outside
She broke my heart, in the trailer park
So I jacked the keys to her fuckin' car
Crashed that piece of shit and then stepped away

Ya know Moe I'll probably get ten years
So just give me beers till they get here
Yea I know the sun is coming up
And yall are probably get ready for closein up
But I'm trying to drown my sole
I'm tired of this life on the dirt road
Everything that I love is gone
And I'm tired of hangin on

She got me sittin at a bar on the inside
Waitin for my ride on the outside
She stole my heart, in the trailer park
So I jacked the keys to her fuckin car
And crashed that piece of shit then stepped away

As soon as the song came to an end most of Emmett's guest were making their way to the drive way and into their cars.

Em was sitting on dad's favorite leather recliner and Rose was on top of him grinding and kissing him as if no one else was in the room.

They had no shame.

James and Jake made their way to the kitchen table and sat as they discussed how this was there year and they were going to be state champs.

Mike made his way to the fridge and got them all new cold cans of beers to drink.

I looked out the kitchen window and caught Eric outside towards the right of our house making out with no other than Angela.

How did she get here? Angela was in my grade level.

So much for that fucking "Man Pack" Eric. I said under my breath.

Jasper came out of the restroom and walked towards the family room.

"Hey bro you missed our song" James said once again rather loudly.

"Nature calls fucker, but I promise to make it up to you later James" he said playfully.

"Rose we need to go like now. It's late and we need to be on the road in less than 4 hours" Jasper told Rose.

I had overheard Rose tell Emmett earlier that they had some family function to attend.

Rose gave Emmett a rather long kiss that would make any porn star blush.

How could Jasper not cringe at the sight of his twin sister's tongue down his best friend's throat?

They said their goodbye's and were gone rather quickly.

I got up from the breakfast bar and had to steady myself before I took a step forward.

Alcohol will do that to you.

"Goodnight guys", I said as I looked at no one in particular.

"Night Bella" they said in unison.

I began to walk up the stairs and then I heard Em say, "Crash in my room bro. I'm not even attempting to go up those fucking stairs. I am rather drunk and have a massive boner.

Thanks for the visual Em.

"I'll go to bed as soon as I finish this beer. Thanks".

Oh shit oh shit….he will be sleeping right next door to me and to make matters worse he will have easy access to my room as Em and I shared a jack and jill bathroom.

I ran up the stairs and slammed the door shut with my back.

I was about to hyperventilate.

I should have never agreed to this fucking shit.

As I opened my eyes I could see light coming from under the bathroom door.

Had I left it on?

I placed my ear to the door and heard nothing. So I opened the door slowly and found Alice hugging the toilet.

"Alice, Alice wake up".

"Oh hey Bella, the room began to spin and I barely made it to the toilet. How long have I been here? Is Jasper still here? Can you please help me into bed? Why are you acting weird Bella?

Man nothing escaped Alice. Drunk or not she could ask a million questions in record time.

"Uhmm nothing Alice. I don't know maybe 30 minutes. He left 5 minutes ago with his sister and yes I will help you. I was not expecting to find you on the bathroom floor" I said it with a bit of attitude.

"Sorry Bella, help me into bed please" she pouted.

I helped Alice into bed and felt relived to know that I had an excuse and would not do anything if he came looking for me.

I quickly changed in my sweat shorts and a cami.

I went into the bathroom to pee and I wash my face.

I went to lock Em's side of the door and remembered that he had accidentally broken the handle last week when I had forgotten to unlock it after my morning shower.

Fuck! He could easily come in if he wanted in the night.

I looked down my shorts drawstring.

I had an idea.

I created a knot so there was no way to get into my pant, or uh shorts per say.

With that I felt a wave of accomplishment and shut the bathroom doors.

I lay in bed next to Alice. She was already fast asleep. I turned radio on the clock radio. It read 1:54 am. The No Doubt song "Hey Baby" was playing and with that I closed my eyes to dream.

I was certain I was off the hook today.

Hey baby, hey baby hey. That song had some how made its way into my dream.

Next thing I knew I smelt cigarettes and alcohol.

"Bella, Bella you awake" a horsed voice said in to my ear.

I was not all that aware of what was going on.

And there he was in my fucking room with no fucking shirt on.

He looked absolutely fuckable.

I looked over at Alice. She was facing the wall away from me and I could hear her loud breathing.

I took a quick look at the clock it said 2:44 am.

"Yeah, I am awake what's up" I whispered.

"I am here for what you promised me Bella".

"You have got to be kidding me. My brother is down stairs and Alice sleeping right next to me".

"Well then at least lay with me on the floor and let's make out.

There was no harm in making out, right?

If we got caught by Alice she would not tell anyone. I was sure of that.

I thought about it for less than a second and decided it was worth it.

As soon as I was on the floor that fucker lost no time. He kissed me everywhere and I could taste and smell cigarettes and alcohol on his breath and body.

Gross!

He freed my breast from my cami in one quick move. His face was buried in my chest for god knows how long.

It felt so good, I won't lie.

Thank you drawstring shorts. You will surely save me today.

"So you ready baby".

"Ready for what", I said

"To give me some, you promised Bella. Don't be a fucking cock tease"

Yeah that was me. Cock tease Swan.

All summer long we'd been making out. That was all we could ever do. We never had the chance to do more cause my brother and the guys where always around.

Last night he had called looking for Em. I had answered the phone and we just got to talking like we always did.

I was not sure how we had gotten onto the subject of sex and before I knew it I had agreed to have sex with him.

"You have done this before right Bella".

"Yes" I said matter of factly into the phone.

"At summer camp last year, twice with my uhh boyfriend".

"Cause like I want to totally fuck you Bella. I just don't want to be your first you know what I am saying".

"Yes I get it" I said but had no idea what he meant.

I thought guys liked virgins.

"Okay then I will see you tomorrow tonight" he said.

How had this lie gotten out of control

Now here he was touching me and I was so scared. I had no idea what I had gotten myself into. I just mimicked his moves and kissed him back.

His hands began to wander in between my legs.

"Little Bella you are so fucking wet for me aren't ya" he said.

"I guess so" I said with a shaky voice.

He then tried to undo my drawstring.

I was counting my lucky stars that he would fail.

"Bella I can't get this shit undone"

He tried to undo the knot for about 2 minutes.

I could tell he was getting angry.

"I guess it was not meant to be " I said.

"Like hell. I am here for what you promised me and I am not leaving till I get it".

And with that he held the drawstring with both hands and ripped the string.

This is not good!

I had underestimated his strength.

"Oh yeah who's the man baby?"

I had no comment.

With that he began to take my shorts and panties off.

How in the world was I gonna get out of this one?

He took my panties and put them under his nose and took a deep breath.

"You smell delicious my Bella".

Before I knew it he was on top of me. Naked.

I could feel the warmth of his skin against my exposed breast.

As he began to spread my legs with his knees we heard Alice cough and move on the bed.

We both instantly froze and held our breaths.

When he thought it might be safe. He looked up at the bed where Alice was laying.

"She's back asleep. Now where were we" he said with lust in his voice.

I just lay there and knew I had no idea what to do.

I took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes and signaled I was ready.

He gently went down against my chest once more. He reopened my legs and I could feel the head of his cock on my entrance.

Before I knew it he was inside me.

I balled my hands into fists.

I was not ready for this.

I was scared confused.

Maybe a bit buzzed from the alcohol.

How do you like it how does it feel?

Tupac was playing on the radio.

How appropriate.

Someone was playing a very cruel joke on me.

"So Bella, how do you want it?"

"This is good" I said with clenched teeth.

He began to move back and forth against my body.

A few airless whimpers escaped my mouth.

I began to concentrate on the lyrics that were on the radio so that I could think of something other than the pain and silently answered Tupac's questions:

How do you want it?-Soft, please.

How does it feel? -Like Hell

Comin' up as a nigga in tha cash game
Livin' in tha fast lane
i'm for real-Are you really?

Tell me is it cool to fuck? -No, I would rather we call it sex.

You think I come to talk
am I a fool or what ? -Yes we talk all the time, can we do it now?

positions on tha floor -Check

it's like erotic
ironic
cause i'm somewhat psychotic-I can see that now

i'm hitten' switches on bitches -Who else is he fucking?

like i been fixed with hydraulics
up and down like a roller coaster
come up beside ya
I ain't quitin' till tha show is over -Wonder how that is gonna end?

cause i'm a ridah
in and out just like a robbery-Yeah you are robbing my body my vir-

i'll probably be a freak
and let you get on top of me
get her rockin' these-Get me rockin what exactly?!?

"I have a confession to tell you" I said nervously.

He pulled himself up with his palms and tried to look me in the eyes, never pulling himself from inside me.

"Uhmm I am still a virgin, or at least I still was up until about a few minute ago" I said as I choked back tears.

"You mean you lied to me. You said you had done this before Bella".

His voice began to change and get loud

"Shh…you are going to wake Alice up"

He nuzzled his face in my hair. His breathing began to pick up and his pulse began to speed up.

Then he placed his mouth on my ear and said, "Well hell we all need to experience a virgin once in a lifetime. I just hate it had to be you baby".

With that said he grabbed my wrist with his hands and placed them against the carpet rather forcefully.

He pushed himself inside of me harder and harder and began to say things under his breath.

The pain was too much for me to bear.

In my head I was screaming for him to stop. I opened my mouth but nothing came out.

Traitor mouth!

I tried to move but I was pinned under his massive body.

Suddenly I was awoken by Alice. She was sitting next to me with her eyes buggin out.

She looked me in the eyes and shook her head at me.

"There, there, there Bella it was only a dream. It's okay the big bad wolf won't get you now" she snorted.

"How much did you drink last night Bella? I woke up earlier to pee and I tripped over you. You were lying on the floor with your underwear around your knees. So I helped you up on the bed". Alice said shaking her head.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. How much did I drink last night?

"What time is It Alice?" I said.

"11:20 am".

Oh Shit Charlie would be home at 2:00 pm. It would take us from now to then to get house cleaned.

Alice jumped out of bed and ran into the restroom.

"Alice you promised you would help clean if I invited you, remember?"

"Yes Bella I promised and I will".

I laid my head back on the pillow and tried to remember the events from last night.

Thank God that was only a dream.

"Alice hurry up I gotta pee super duper bad" I yelled at her

As I got out of bed I noticed my sweat shorts were on the floor by the foot of the bed.

So weird, I don't remember much from last night.

I was about to pick them up when Alice ran out the bathroom and jumped on the bed and began to dance and sing to the Black Eyed Peas Boom Boom Pow.

I rolled my eyes and made my way into the bathroom.

As I walked in curiosity got the best of me.

I wondered who was in door number 1.

So I opened Em's door to see who I would find there.

To my surprise I found James and Jake on my brother's bed. Eric had not made it on to the couch and was spread ego on the floor.

I slowly closed the door behind me and proceeded to pull my underwear off.

I sat on the toilet and began to pee. Man did that hurt me. It hurt like when you have a urinary tract infection.

That's what I get for holding my pee so long.

I looked at the inside of my underwear and noticed nothing out of the ordinary.

So I wiped and there it was staring at me in the face.

There was blood on the toilet paper.

Thank you for reading my story.

I am already working on Chapter 2

Reviews help Bella remember a drunken night….