Only This
Summary: Kerry realizes how lucky she is to have Abby around. Kerry/Abby friendship. Could be one-sided romance. Response to challenge on LJ community evenangels.
Spoilers: "Where There's Smoke", "Out on a Limb"
There was nothing left to whisper. Honestly, I have no energy to say anything. I can barely think. This surgery is a real threat. It scares me. I don't remember when I was ever this scared. No, I lied. It was when Sandy was in surgery.
See, surgery is a risk.
That's not what I care about. I'm just glad that I'm not alone. With Sandy's death, I thought it would just be me and Henry. I never thought there could be anyone else. No one could replace Sandy. No one could distract me from thinking about her. Sure, Susan was nice, buy there was always a strain in our friendship. We didn't get off on the right start. Besides, it's mute anyway. Susan left.
And you're the only one left. Sure, everyone else in the ER is great. Ray, Pratt, Neela, Luka. They've been wonderful (especially today), but they're nothing like you. I can depend on you. You're a good person, Abby.
You're my safety, my comfort. We don't go home together. I go home with Henry while you go home with Luka. I know you're straight. I know we'll never be an actual couple, but I know that I can count on you in any circumstance. I know I can trust you. Loyalty is not something I have to worry about with you. Just knowing that you're alive is comfort enough. I see how you care about me. And I care about you. Isn't that what a relationship is really about?
I think so. I recognize that it'll never be more than a close friendship, but that's ok with me. I trust you, Abby. If something (God forbid) does go wrong tomorrow, I know Henry will be in good hands. That's what helping me maintain my outward calm appearance and attitude towards this surgery. Only you, only this.