Kaira: --sits on top of a giant rock and glares up at a bug flying around her wolf ear--
--buzz buzz buzz--
Kaira: --turns into a wolf and bites at the bug until she catches it--
Camera Man: Ehh, Kaira? ...The camera's rolling...
Kaira: --thinking-- Oh ... crap! OO --turns back into a human with her cheeks puffed out and a 'buzzing' sound coming from inside her mouth--
Camera Man: ...and we're live...
Kaira: --spits bug out-- Gah! Eww... --sigh-- Eh, uh, um ... Hi everyone! Well, I know I've been gone for a while, seeing as my last show was taken off the air. And then, there was the whole law suit thing ... gosh, who knew celebrities could be SO sensitive... (A/N you wouldn't understand what I mean unless you read the first "K(oQ)otM"). Anyway, I'm finally back and hopefully things will go smoother this time. So then, lets get started. --presses remote control button--
Barret: --appears out of know where along with other Final Fantasy 7, 8, 9, and 10 characters-- ...OH #$&#! NOT THIS AGAIN! It's that damn wolf girl!
Kaira: --glare--
Tifa: And we're back on this stupid mountain again!
Yuna: Back? I've never been here before.
Rikku: Me either! --runs off to examine the fun looking landscape--
Amarant: Consider yourselves lucky...
Yuna: . . . all of a sudden, I have a bad feeling about this...
Don: YAY! Beatrix baby! You're back! --attempts to hug Beatrix--
Beatrix: I don't think so, lecher! --kicks him in the AHEM--
Don: Owww... love hurts... come on baby ... I know you want me ...
Beatrix: Of course, I want you... I want you dead!
Kaira: Well, I see we're off to a happy start. Anyway, as I just said, one big difference in this new season is that I've added Final Fantasy X. Now, instead of 42 characters and 3 teams of 15, we'll have 55 characters and 5 teams of 11 (confusing I know ...don't worry it'll all get even more confusing --smiles innocently--)
Now how this game works is at the end of each episode you get to vote for which character you want voted off. Occasionally we'll have an immunity challenge which will protect the winning team from being voted for, so pay attention to which people are safe and which ones aren't. However, I'll notify you if you have accidentally voted for some who has immunity.
The following is a quick list of all 55 characters. This way you can refer back and decide who to vote for. This list will be updated as people are voted off.
FF7
Cloud -- Tifa -- Aeris -- Barret -- Yuffie -- Red XIII -- Vincent -- Cait Sith -- Cid -- Reno -- Rude -- Elena -- Don Cornelia -- Sephiroth
FF8
Squall -- Rinoa -- Selphie -- Zell -- Quistis -- Irvine -- Edea -- Seifer -- Fujin -- Raijin -- Angelo -- Laguna -- Kiros -- Ward
FF9
Zidane -- Garnet -- Vivi -- Steiner -- Eiko -- Freya -- Amarant -- Quina -- Beatrix -- Blank -- Marcus -- Cinna -- Ruby -- Kuja
FFX
Tidus -- Yuna -- Lulu -- Wakka -- Auron -- Rikku -- Kimahri -- Paine (Yes, I know she's from X2 and not X, but ... oh well) -- Brother -- Jecht -- Dona -- Barthello -- Braska
Kaira: Dang...that's a of people... Oh well, that'll change once things get started. Now then, on to the teams which have been predetermined. (and as always everyone, most of this is randomized. However, some people I did put on the same teams just to make things interesting ... MWAHAHA)
Beatrix: --thinking-- Please don't let me be on the same team as Don Cornelius...
Eiko: --thinking-- Please let me be on the same team as Zidane!
Kuja: --thinking-- Please let me be on the same team as my beloved! (A/N he has a lot of those actually...)
Team One in alphabetical order consists of...
Amarant, Brother, Elena, Laguna, Paine, Raijin, Rikku, Rinoa, Seifer, Vincent, and Zell.
Team two consists of...
Barret, Braska, Cinna, Eiko, Garnet, Kimahri, Quistis, Sephiroth, Ward, Yuna, and Zidane.
Eiko: YAY!
Zidane: What are you so happy about?
Eiko: ...oh nothing... --thinking-- MWAHAHAHAHA! HE'S MINE! ALL MINE!
Garnet: Oh look Zidane. We're on the same team. What luck!
Eiko: --thinking-- ...DARN HER!
Team Three consists of...
Aeris, Auron, Beatrix, Cloud, Don, Freya, Kiros, Lulu, Steiner, Tifa, and Yuffie.
Don: --looks at Beatrix ... then at Tifa ... then at Lulu-- OH MY GOD, I'M IN HEAVEN!
(A/N I think you all know where I'm going with this)
Beatrix: Steiner?
Steiner: Yes, General?
Beatrix: Take your sword ... and stick it through my head ... please!
Team Four consists of...
Angelo, Dona, Edea, Jecht, Red XIII, Reno, Ruby, Rude, Squall, Tidus, and Vivi.
Angelo: --thinking-- Well, at least I'm not the only dog on this team. Red XIII is here too. And he's kinda hot. I wonder if he'd notice me. (A/N Yes, I make Angelo a female dog)
Red XIII: --thinking-- Why is that dog starring at me...? Creepy fur ball...
And FINALLY Team Five consists of...
Barthello, Blank, Cait Sith, Cid, Fujin, Irvine, Kuja, Marcus, Quina, Selphie, and Wakka.
Kuja: Yes! Blank, my love. Fate has once again allowed us to share a team together on this god forsaken TV game show. (A/N I enjoy making fun of all the Blank/ Kuja yaoi out there by putting them together)
Blank: Oh crap ... not this again ... Why must fan fiction writers torture me!
Marcus: Well, if they're anything like me, it's cause they like watching you suffer.
Blank: --glare-- Gee, thanks... Glad to see I have my "bro" behind me on this.
Kaira: Well, if it makes any difference, I like watching you suffer too.
(A/N btw, all the FF9 characters are friends with Kaira. You wouldn't understand all that unless you read Through Dragons Eyes)
Blank: What! Why?
Kaira: Cause. You're so darn cute when you're frustrated.
Blank: ...
Kaira: Anyway ... --sigh-- That's too many people! Well, I hope you can keep 'em all straight, cause I sure can't. The teams wont matter until the next episode. For now, lets just get to the voting. Since there are so many contestants on this game show, I'm gonna ask you to vote for the three characters that you would like voted off. Any of them at all! It doesn't matter. And don't worry, in the second episode, the game will really get started. If you saw the last season of "King (or Queen) of the Mountain" you know how much fun we'll have making our favorite and least favorite characters look like COMPLETE idiots. And who knows? Maybe there will even be some secret romances going on in the tribes --snickers evilly-- So if you wanna know what stupid stuff they're gonna have to do, you've gotta vote! (and just to encourage you to vote, last season their was butt pinching, gay kissing, and arguments over boobs! ...All of it forced on them by yours truly, Kaira)
Oh and I forgot a disclaimer earlier so here it is: In the words a famous and popular robot (and No, I don't own him or his phrase either...) "Bite my shiny, metal ass!" I hate disclaimers! Of course I don't own any of the Final Fantasy characters! I only own Kaira and this mountain ... which doesn't really exist. And I'll give a HUGE chocolate chip cookie to anyone who can guess what robot that is!
Please vote!