CCS Song-fiction collection
Witch-mistress-animaru
A/N: A collection of one-shots for CCS, SS mostly, revolving on romance, tied with any other genre.
P.S. If you have songs which you want to be included in this collection, just PM me or you can tell me through a review. If I don't know the lyrics, there's always Google.
Do tell me if you spot a story which, in your opinion, can be made into a full-length story. Or if you find something that you want to improve on and make a full story from, just tell me, I won't object (grins).
This is what I'll be doing while I work out the grand plots of my full-length stories.
One-time disclaimer: CCS isn't mine, and never will be, by the looks of it.
1: The Sweetest Sin
Hardest Thing
Performed by 98 Degrees
Pairing: SS, with Meiling on the side
Rating: T/M
Genre: Romance/Angst
Somewhere in the Order of the Phoenix something went like this:
"She deserves someone young and whole." – Remus Lupin, Order of the Phoenix (On Tonks)
"It's you I want, I don't care if you're a werewolf or anything." –Nymphadora Tonks to Remus Lupin, Order of the Phoenix
It was raining outside, torrents and torrents of raindrops falling, washing the whole street clean. A man with brown, messy hair stood outside the doorway of a small apartment downtown, holding his black umbrella with shaky hands. One hand was poised on the door, inches from knocking and letting his presence known to whoever was inside.
And yet…he cannot bring himself to do it.
He stood there, the rain splattered in his gleaming black leather shoes, his business suit getting messier by the minute, but for the life of him, he cannot do it. He does not even know how to start.
The white-gold band on his left hand felt heavy all of a sudden, and he desperately gathered his courage once more. Not giving himself another moment to lose his resolve, he knocked on the door without the hesitation he felt.
I can do this…I can…
Yet as the door opened, revealing a young woman with auburn hair and smiling green eyes, his resolve seems to vanish right then and there. All he wanted to do was hug her tight and kiss her, assure himself that it's not over…
We both know that I shouldn't be here
This is wrong
And baby it's killing me, it's killing you
Both of us trying to be strong
"Syaoran," she breathed, as if mesmerized, before throwing herself to his arms. "I didn't think you'd come," she whispered before kissing him on the lips.
How had he ever forgotten the feel of her lips? How did he ever think he can end everything, somehow?
The door closed behind him, their lips never breaking apart…somehow…it was so wrong…yet how can it feel so right, to hold her like this and just kiss her forever?
"I missed you, I missed you so damned much…" she murmured, trying to hide her tears as they broke apart. "It's so hard, Syaoran…"
Her words were like acid to his heart, gnawing at his whole being. He suddenly found it hard to breathe. This is why…he must end all this…
I've got somewhere else to be
Promises to keep
Someone else who loves me
And trusts me fast asleep
Everything started so innocently…light flirtations, a simple exchange of numbers…and yet…amidst it all…he began to see more and more of her, and less and less of his wife…
His story wasn't so strange, especially in China. His marriage was arranged by his parents, with a long-time childhood friend. Never having known anything else, he respected the decision and went on to marry her.
For two years, they were happy. For two years, their relationship was secure.
Until love, that one powerful emotion, made its way to his heart…
…for the wrong woman, for all the wrong reasons…
And it threatened to destroy everything he had with his wife.
"Do you think I don't know what you are up to, Xiao Lang? You have been cheating on your wife for so long now! How can you do this to her? She was your friend, your sweetheart, and now you're throwing it all away? Have you no shame? Two years…two years, Xiao Lang. She deserves better than that…especially since she loves you, loves you ever since you were kids…"
His mother's words rang in his mind, and once more, his resolve hardened.
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that
"What will you have for dinner, Syaoran? I prepared some simple meal, but…"
If she said one thing more, all this would have been for naught…so he decided to cut her off.
"Sakura…" he whispered, unsure of what to say. "I…I did not come to stay…"
"Oh, of course you'd stay…why ever not? Come on, Syaoran, don't be so…like…" She trailed off upon seeing the look on his face. "You're serious, aren't you?"
"I…came to say goodbye, Sakura. Really, goodbye…"
"Goodbye?" She parroted, looking stupid.
"I…" damn it, I can't lie to her! "I…have decided to try again with Mei Lin."
"I…see…"
"No, you don't. I tried to break it gently…but I guess there's no other way to say it. I…don't think we can be together anymore."
Sakura snorted, rather inelegantly, while she twiddled her thumbs. He saw that her hands were shaking.
"The next thing you'll be telling me is you don't love me," she said with a trace of bitterness. "Don't do this please, Syaoran?" She was pleading…pleading…and he can't hold on much longer if she keeps on doing that… "I never really complained about our setup, did I? I never…minded that you weren't mine… Just as long as we are together…selfish might that sound. Or is it your family again, telling you to leave me?"
For a moment—just one moment of insanity, he considered her words. How wonderful it would be to just succumb to his will, he thought.
"You will end up hurting them both…would you care for that? Would you like that? We have kept this hidden from her for so long. But trust me we won't be covering up for you anymore…enough is enough."
"It's not my family…at least they're not alone in this decision, Sakura," he said, trying to numb his heart from the pain. "It…it's for the best. And you're right, I really have to say I don't love you…because it's the truth. It can hurt, but it's true."
"Don't lie to me, please…don't do this to us."
But he knew she wouldn't let go if she knew how he really felt…
"I'm not lying. It's my wife that I love…you…were nothing but a diversion, yes, that's it…a diversion from the rough times we experienced," he said as coldly and callously as his voice would allow without cracking up.
"You're lying…" Yet Sakura's eyes were brimming with tears.
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry
"I guess…this is goodbye then, Sakura. It's never really meant to be…"
"No…don't…Syaoran…" Tears were running down her cheeks and she was choking on her sobs. Syaoran quickly turned away, fists clenched as he controlled the impulse to run back to her and soothe her. "Please…I know you love me, I know you do…"
"I told you I don't love you, I never did!" He shouted, hoping to finally get to her.
But Sakura walked towards him, and one soft, pale hand touched his shoulder lightly. He quickly pushed her hand away and turned to her…
"Stop it, will you? You're being too pathetic! We both knew this was going to end! We both knew it, so don't go groveling for me to stay like some…some…beggar, some waif!"
To say that she was shocked was an understatement. Her eyes widened; her hurt visible in her green eyes.
"Did…you have to be so cruel? Why…why pretend that you…you love me, then?"
I can't let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied and my heart's not free
We're not meant to be
"I never pretended…you just assumed."
"But you always told me you loved me!"
"I did it to keep the fantasy…and to keep you happy…for as long as it lasted. Now I don't see the point in lying."
"You…you're a bastard…Li Syaoran…for hurting me like this…when I have loved you…loved you with everything I am…" She whispered, and before he can do anything, her hand fell across his face in a stinging slap.
I deserved that…for taking what can never be mine. For hurting you, for loving you even when I know we can never be together…and hurting everyone in the process…
He didn't say another word before he turned and walked away…
It's the hardest thing I'll ever had to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending I don't love you
Go on living without Syaoran beside her was pure torture, Sakura knew. Her tears just won't stop falling and her heart continues to ache. She cannot imagine how she can ever recover from this heartache…
Yet if he never loved her…what choice did she have?
Life was so unfair, she decided. He was the one thing she will never have…
For now, she had to move on with her life…and forget about him. Forget about his kisses, forget about his embraces, his sweet-nothings and caresses…
…most of all, she had to forget him, the whole of him.
I know that we'll meet again
Fate has a place and time
So you can get on with your life
I've got to be cruel to be kind
Like Dr. Zhivago
All my love I'll be sending
And you will never know cuz
There can be no happy ending
Years later, in a local pub, a brown haired man was drowning himself in drinks. His words were slurred, his vision blurred. He kept saying the same thing, "I'm sorry, I lied…I love you, you know I do…please don't let me go like you did…" over and over again till the bartender had to stop him.
For years, he had tried to move on and live without her. For years, his life had been naught but a barren existence. His marriage became a complete failure shortly after ending his affair.
All along, it was guilt keeping him glued to Meiling's side…and when there wasn't anything left to be guilty about, everything fell apart.
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry
Sakura stared unseeingly ahead of her as she waited for the local train to arrive. Her eyes were cool and blank, her face passive, almost catatonic. It hardly comes as a surprise—she doesn't know how to react once she boards the train and comes home after three long years.
Three years…has it really been three years since Li Syaoran walked out of her door? Has it really been three years since she suffered from a nervous breakdown after a mild overdose of sleeping pills?
Yes…she wasn't proud of how she dealt with the pain. She just went on numbing herself to near-death. Love was never an easy thing for her…and to lose him almost meant losing her own life.
And it took her years…all these years to finally recover. She has come to accept that their story was something that was never meant to be. She didn't know where he was now, he could have gone back to Hong Kong, and it shouldn't matter anymore…
…yet a little bit of her remained interested to know where he was.
Maybe another time, another day
As much as I want to, I can't stay
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
But she knew that her yearning would never end until she let go…so she was letting go, inch by painstaking inch… Their story was a closed book, there was no need to re-open it again and let all the ghosts out.
It had ended, albeit unhappily, but that was that. She should really leave it at that.
She should be satisfied for coming out of the whole deal with her soul intact.
Yet was she satisfied? Or is she still holding out for something more? They never had closure, everything ended abruptly…
And she didn't know the answer. Nor did she want to find out what the answer is.
--
"You are sure about this divorce, Syaoran?" Hiiragizawa Eriol asked for what seemed like the hundredth time. "Might I remind you that divorce is final, irrevocable…?"
"…you don't need to remind me again, Eriol-san," Syaoran said wearily. Frankly, Eriol was beginning to sound rather like his own family, who all voiced out their doubts, scruples and the slightest hint of disapproval at his decision to part ways with Meiling. His own mother condemned his decision outright, but for once, the shadow of doubt left Syaoran in this decision.
He knew it was right, for he knew just how much Meiling suffered and endured for him…the lengths she went through to stay with him.
Too bad they can't be together to the end…for it will destroy them both.
And he knew that Meiling was coping slowly, that she was coming to accept their separation. And Meiling would deserve it than anyone else…except maybe Sakura.
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that
And once more, his thoughts settled on the one woman he wanted, the one woman who happened along at the wrong time, at the wrong place…
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry
If he had to re-do everything all over again…would he have done the same? He didn't know…
Ah, maybe, just maybe…he'd do it again…to make things right…be with the one he truly loves…
I don't want to live a lie
What can I do?
Maybe if he found her now…after the murky divorce process is over, he'd start all over again. Maybe.
Somewhere…somehow…we'll make it right.
Somehow it didn't sound too promising.
But he had to hold on to that.
And he hoped that somewhere, somehow, Sakura was holding on to that, as well. She had to.
Or they'd never be together again…
XX
2,306 words
A/N: So how was it? Dangling, I know…that was my intention. Let's see how many optimists and pessimists we have here by telling me what you have to say about this first (and hopefully not the last) offering. It won't be the last—the next one's on the way. ET fans, watch out for an angst-y romance in the next one-shot.
Coming up:
Title: After the Scandal
Based on Hands Clean
Performed by Alanis Morissette
Pairing: ET, hints on SS
Rating: T/M
Genre: Romance/Drama