A Hope(less) filled future

A/N: Rewriting the third time, let's hope this one is better...

I'm trying to capture Mary's emotions after the ending sacrifice. As well as showing the effects of time on her heart. (I've thought of making one for each character, bringing everything full circle... I might if I have the chance.)

It hurts; living.

I blink and look at the ceiling of my room. I fell asleep again. .. My eyes drift down and look at the man in front of me, like I was, he was sleeping but with just his head on the bed. The rest of his body was in a seat right next to the bed. I look around the room, just the same as before, like all the past 3 moths I've been here.

Looking around I can see the pictures I've drawn covering the walls: they hold all sorts of different things in it, from me and Garry or just some of my dolls, to even some about the other world, not that he knows...

He should be waking up soon to head off, he can't stay around for long, maybe it's for the best, I can barely even look at him without remembering... her.

I shake my head. If I think too much, my mind will drift back their again. It's over, I can't do anything now, she's gone now, she chose us over herself. Now I can only live the life I've been given.

I yawn and lean back again to let my mind drift off to my new. I'll have to go next month, school starts then. Garry is asking if I'm sure but I don't have much of a choice, I've been faking being alright ever since 2 months ago. I can't make him worry, he's far too nice for that. No wonder Ib chose to save him... no, I don't get it. Ib, you had people to return to, people who loved you, so why, why would you give up your life for both of us? Let yourself be erased from time just to give us ours?

Heh, unlike me who tried to steal yours and Garry's with a pallet knife, maybe that's why I can't understand, I'm too empty in-

I wipe the tear from my face, It isn't good to go down that way of thinking, I'll start crying again and I'll really worry Garry. I have to stay strong, or Garry will see through my mask, the one I held so well in the gallery when I was with them until it changed, until they figured it out, that I was a...

I hit the side of my head with a balled up fist to stop that trail of thinking...?

When did I cross my arms and why can't I stop shaking? Was it because of the memory, or the pain? Maybe the fact that I am living a life that I don't deserve or the fact that the person who holds me dearly every night would hate me if he could remember what happened. Was it the fact that I feel fake and hollow inside? Could it be the fact that I still remember everything but don't even know if it was real? When I cut, it bleeds. When I am met with fire, I don't melt. When I feel water, I don't lose colour. I need food and water to live...

I miss you Ib, your happy smile, your caring soul even in a world of horror, your comforting words when I started falling apart... had I not dropped my fake flower, could we have spent more time together? more smiles together

I can feel the dripping on my dress, I guess I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't stop myself from thinking about you...

I could feel myself slowly drifting off to sleep. My mind slowly becoming more and more cloudy.

My back sliding across the frame of the bed as my head approaches my pillow.

I close my eyes, letting the tears to fall.

I'm sorry Ib.

I'm sorry for causing you to give up your life for someone as empty as me.

I wish we could be together, all of us.

Garry and you have showed me kindness I could never deserve. A monster like me who had only ever thought of herself. Who tried to kill the only people who were kind to her out of desperation. Out of fear of being abandoned.

I don't deserve to live.

But something in me tells me to live.

Do I even have anything in me?

...

I wish all three of us...

Could go for a picnic or something...

And just be able to smile together...

Under the sunset...

'Ib'

'I'm sorry'

My eyelids closed, feeling almost as heavy as my heart as I was dragged into rest.

'I miss you.'

Everything turned white, as blank as a canvas.