"The day I found out that Michael was dead - that was really the day that I at last grew up", Edith murmured into Bertie's ear.
She was lying comfortably in his arms in one of the bedrooms in Hexham House in London where they spent their first night together after their wedding, before leaving for their honey moon on the continent. It had been well past midnight when they arrived, but they had had other things than sleep to keep them busy on the first hours of the new year when finding themselves alone in bed for the first time as a married couple...
...
But now it had all calmed down. They were tired and satisfied and no longer so overwhelmed by all the things that had happened to them - in their honour - during the last few days.
Now it was just the two of them, and in some ways that was the most overwhelming thing of all. That they had found each other, that they loved each other, that they belonged together.
Bertie was close to falling asleep when Edith started talking, and maybe also a little annoyed that she should think about Michael on their wedding night, so he didn't know what to answer. So he just held her a little closer, and said: "Oh...", giving her the chance to either stop talking or explain what was on her mind.
"Up until then I was just a silly little girl, even if I was already a mother", she went on. "I had some romantic thoughts of him rescuing me - of any man rescuing me, actually. But that day I understood that I had to fight my battles alone. No one else was going to do it for me. I had to take my daughter back myself."
Bertie mumbled something in her ear again, not really wanting her to go on, but Edith felt a need to tell him this right now. Because it was all so very different with him. So different and so much better.
"Perhaps it was the way women in our circumstances were not allowed to grow up when I was young. The only thing we were allowed to do was to find a man. And I was more or less desparate to get one. All I wanted was to get married and live happily ever after. Like in the fairy tales... I was expecting to get somebody to take care of me."
"Ah!" Bertie said, suddenly a bit more awake. "Was that the way you saw me? Is that the way you see me?"
"No, I already had Marigold when I met you. I was, at last, a grown up, a capable human being. I took care of my daughter and I was in charge of the Magazine. I met you as an equal. That had never happened for me with any man before."
"I didn't really feel like an equal to you", Bertie said. "At least not to begin with, your circumstances were so much above mine. I just fell madly in love."
"You were always an equal to me", Edith said. "I never doubted that. I saw you as another human being, a sweet and gentle man. With you - I never expected you to take care of me. I just wanted to snuggle up with you on the sofa. I just wanted to have a friend and enjoy some of that human warmth."
...
Edith was silent for a while before she continued.
"I never expected you to propose to me. It just complicated things. I was determined to remain a spinster for the rest of my life, I never expected to have to tell any man about Marigold. And then... I... I couldn't give you up. I could never give up Marigold and gradually I realised I couldn't give you up either."
"Well, you didn't have to, did you. You have me and you have her. Everything has worked out quite wonderfully."
"Yes, it has", Edith said with a happy sigh.
Bertie kissed her again.
"And now I think I will need some sleep", he said then. "There will be a new day tomorrow. And a new night."
AN: Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment!