The letter and the stake from Dimitri--no. Not Dimitri. The Strigoi with Dimitri's face, Dimitri's body...It was just the beginning. I began receiving correspondences from my dear beau pretty soon after I began my classes again. There was never a return address, but the post marks where erratic, from all over.

On top of that, I had an impressive five-page outline handwritten from Adrian telling me why he would be a good suitor. It was not all that good in the organization department. He kept forgetting things and then would go back and make tiny notes in the margin. It was illegible at best, but there were many admiring points. Even if I hadn't been pretty convinced before, I certainly am now: Adrian is serious about wanting me. I think...Well, it may be a stretch, but I think he might be in love with me.

That may have been just the thing to help me move on after staking Dimitri, but he's not dead. My aching heart reminds me of that every time I receive a new letter from him. If ever there was a time that I could distinguish between Dimitri and the soulless being who looked like him, it was now. His letters are bordering on psychotic.

I told Lissa about them. She reads every one, and she shows the appropriate reactions to them. Her and Christian are on their way to repairing their relationship or whatever so she can't really be depressed with me. Christian certainly can. We sit in broody silences a lot. Then I make fun of him, he makes fun of me, and we lapse back into our silences.

"Hey, little dhampir." Adrian fell in beside me. There was a cigarette rolling between his thumb and index finger but he refrained from lighting it. "You're aura is a little darker than usual," he said thoughtfully.

"What?" I asked after it was apparent he wasn't going to say anything else. "No offer to brighten it up?"

His small frown brightened into a smile. "What could I possibly give you that you don't already have?"

"Happiness?" I muttered darkly.

"Little dhampir," Adrian said almost mournfully, pulling my hand into his. He was getting serious. He only really did that with me, and it was disconcerting. He brightened. "Hard liquor sometimes helps acheive temporary bliss."

The laugh that bubbled up from my stomach startled me. "Adrian, you know I don't drink."

"You can guard me tonight, little dhampir. I know you won't let anything happen to me, even with a little alcohol in your system," he practically purred.

I extracted my hand from his. "I don't drink." I spotted a building attendant headed my way with a familiar white envelope. Hell.

I ripped into it as soon as he walked away, and my face immediately heated up.

You looked so beautiful with my bites blooming on your neck. My own personal blood whore.

-D

I didn't realize Adrian was able to read it from his position in front of me until he inhaled sharply. "Rose," he said, his eyes going from my face to my neck.

At that moment, I hated Dimitri. I hated what I became when he bit me. I hated the fact that he lived. God, I hated the way Adrian was looking at me. He saw me when he was in my dream.

"Rose," Adrian said again.

I ripped the paper up. I kept them all, but I was so ashamed of myself. I realized that it wasn't something I could help, but I hated myself. "Stop," I said when he moved toward me. I was shaking.

"He played on your love for him, Rose," Adrian said quiely. He didn't know what happened. It was only a guess, and I knew that, but he was right on the mark. I couldn't help but take comfort in that.

"I have to get back before curfew." I turned to walk away but stopped. "I don't think I can ever love again, Adrian. I feel like my heart is iced over, and if there's a chance I can save him...I'm going to take it." It's best for him to really know what he is getting into.

"I'll take my chances, little dhampir." The amusement was back, but there was still that underlying seriousness that I couldn't help but be charmed by.

I walked away. There was still a hope that I could change him, but if it was Dimitri's unlife or my life, I knew I would be able to stake him. I did it once, I had had to believe I could do it again.