With a small jolt, she regained consciousness. Keeping her eyes closed, all she could hear was a distant ringing along with some muffled noises every now and then. She guessed that she was in some sort of med bay, and apparently her hearing wasn't what it used to be. She had been through similar situations before though and prepared herself for what was next to come. After a moment of hesitation she opened her eyes slowly, ready to be blinded by the lights, but was happy to see that someone had dimmed them. Of course, she was just happy to be able to see at all considering what she had been through recently.

Was it recently? She wasn't quite sure. Had she been out for long? Or was she dead and this is just the next step? She certainly had no expectation of survival as she pulled her gun on the system that would subsequently destroy all synthetic life in the universe. Hell, she would probably be happier dead. Who would want to face a universe that may or may not agree with the choices that she had made on its behalf? She could have been alright with staying dead the first time too. They had only revived her in order to throw her back into the fire, she was hardly even given a choice. Either way, she wasn't really too keen on the thought of an afterlife, but if this was it, she was happy that they weren't set on blinding her right off the bat.

Slowly she began moving her fingers. First the right hand and then the left. Every movement sent pain throughout her entire body, no matter how small the gesture. Still, it didn't take very long for her to become comfortable enough to move herself into an awkward half-sitting position as she began to take inventory of everything. Ten toes and ten fingers, wonderful, that was a very good start. Obviously she could see, and it didn't feel as though her mental faculties had slowed, so there was likely no brain damage. Legs looked moderately normal, along with her torso and arms apart from the new scars here and there. Scar tissue, she noticed. No stitching or bandages. Either she was still healing quickly thanks to Cerberus tech, or it had been months since she had arrived to wherever she was being held. Altogether she looked pretty well patched up.

Slowly her hands moved up to her face but when they got there it didn't feel right. Ignoring the pain and the alarms the detaching medical systems were now sending out, she quickly moved from the bed to search for a mirror. Propped up against the sink with shaking legs, she looked at herself. She was skinnier than before, and her muscles were nearly gone, but her eyes still looked like her own and she was glad for that. She continued to analyze the person staring back at her. This wasn't the first time that she had been rebuilt but whoever had done it this time apparently did not receive the reference photos. Firstly, her hair was gone. Simply gone. It would probably take more time than anything else to grow back without any help from doctors and she could cope with that but her face was. . .just not right. Very few scars but everything was different enough to put her past the point of recognition. She looked less like herself and more like a distant relative, perhaps a second or third cousin. Noticeably similar to those who knew what to look for but still definitely a different person by appearance.

She had only been at the sink for a very short time when a group of medics came rushing in, apparently ready for the worst. She looked at the medical equipment that was now reporting a false death and back to the group of people standing in front of her. An Asari with more of a purple hue gave her a quick once over and then turned to the rest of her crew and quietly dismissed them. The Asari ushered her back into the bed and began speaking to her while reattaching the medical equipment that she had ripped herself free from.

"My name is Anaren. You were pulled from the Citadel wreckage nearly three months ago, do you have any memory of the incident?"

She thought for a moment and nodded slowly. She was still alive and it have been three months. She had guessed pretty accurately then.

"We did the best we could. By the look on your face I am guessing that you do not appear as you used to. We apologize for any discrepancies, but you were nearly beyond any sort of recognition. Quite honestly, most of us are surprised that you survived at all," Anaren pause and gave her a calculated look, "Do you remember your name? Unfortunately an immeasurable amount of data was lost in the Citadel's blast. Our technology was easily repaired by people with working knowledge within their respective fields, but lost data is lost data. We lost all personal records and are unable to identify you through any form of DNA testing. Nobody could recognize you either so up until this point we've simply treated what we could in the hopes that you could provide us with the answers if and when you woke up."

She blinked a few times while processing the information just presented to her. Nobody knew who she was. But her crew. . .surely they had been looking for her. A wave of guilt and sadness washed over her as she finally acknowledged the questions that she had been successfully avoiding up until this point. Where was her crew? Her ship? Did they make it out alright and was everyone okay? Why was she alone? Surely one of her crew could have recognized her even if she had been pretty well battered. Where was. . .she refused to say the name of the one person she cared about most of all, even within her head. What if he hadn't made it? She couldn't face it, not yet. It was too soon. Those questions were for a little later. She stayed silent she felt the tears start welling up behind her eyes. She choked back the sobs that wanted to be let loose and tried to focus for just a few more minutes. If she told them who she was, would they believe her? Her eyebrows furrowed as she looked back up at the Asari, not ready to answer the question. Luckily she seemed to understand and continued on her little informational speech.

Anaren stood and walked to the medical supplies cabinet to grab a clip board with some pieces of paper on it as she spoke, "Now, we don't have all of our systems up and running again so we have to do this in a long winded manner. We don't have the resources to produce data pads so everything is on paper for the time being. Most of our efforts are currently going towards critical medical purposes as well as reestablishing long range space travel. I'll just need you to try to fill out these forms the best you can so we can get you an identification card and start rebuilding your personal file." With another glance at the equipment she smiled lightly, "I am very happy to see how well you are doing so far. You're quite the fighter. All your readings look wonderful and you've got enough strength to stand on your own, not to mention tearing free from my monitors. It's surprising to say the least. I assume that you're more than capable of writing then too. I'll give you some time to try and fill these out, when I come back we'll need to run some simple tests but for now just take it slow and try to remember as much as you can."

She had placed the clip board on the bed along with a pen and left the room quietly. It wasn't until Anaren left that she finally let the tears run free. She was completely and utterly alone and for the first time in her life, she found it upsetting. She had never once left a single person on her crew behind and yet here she was without anyone to even identify her. She tried her hardest to reason with her emotions. Apparently they were unable to recognize her by her face alone, but surely there would have been something? Dog tags, her uniform? Her crew would have definitely known who she was, if they had survived of course. They should have at least recognized that she was a soldier and started narrowing it down from there. Half the universe knew what she had looked like but after everything that she had done, the decisions she had to make, everything that she had to sacrifice to make sure everyone was safe, there was nothing? Everyone had accepted her death the first time and she dealt with that. She had been launched into space in a suit with a severed oxygen line. Nobody should survive that and technically she didn't. This time though there had obviously been a rescue effort most likely resulting in many lives recovered, but why didn't anyone realize that she could have been one of them? She continued her internal argument for quite a while until she decided that her feelings weren't going to be swayed, it didn't change the fact that she was once again lost. It wasn't anyone's fault and she knew it but she couldn't help how she was feeling. With the threat gone, perhaps she had just lost her fight. She was broken down. The steel will of a commander was simply gone and she sat in a med bay crying over the blank forms laying beside her.

*** Author's Note ***

Bioware owns all - I claim no rights to the characters or anything like that.

This is my first Fanfiction submission so I'm new to the system. Any constructive criticism is greatly appreciated, as I have no Beta.

Thanks so much for reading my work, it is very much appreciated 3