I trailed along the wet pavement with luggage on one hand, a cup of hot chocolate on the other and a question in my head: where should I go?
I knew time was playing a cruel trick on me as it sent a warning to my empty stomach. I only had a couple of dollars to spare for dinner but it was the least of my problems at this point in time. A few paces came about until I heard faint music from a distance, the soothing ballad whispering in my ear to stop and think about what to do next.
They said it was for the best. They said they could never afford to tarnish the family name and they spoke those words with such indifference as if I was a creature to be lured deep within the forest, a monster. A decision had been made and I was stripped off from everything I own. Everything but myself.
We're sorry, Arthur, they said before bidding their farewell.
All my life I did everything I could to make my family proud. In return, I only wanted them to accept me for who I am but seeing myself wandering along these gloomy streets I figured that's too much to ask.
"Hey."
A friendly hand landed on my shoulder, pulling me out of my racing thoughts.
"H-hey."
My mouth hung open until I managed to stammer a couple of words which took a little while. The hand belonged to Alfred Jones, our school's star football player.
"Aren't you supposed to be inside?" I asked.
"You mean the prom?" He chuckled and scanned his own appearance.
I nodded.
Brown bomber jacket, torn faded jeans, worn out sneakers and not to mention a huge backpack strapped on his left shoulder. He didn't look dressed for the prom at all, not unless he was confident enough to flaunt himself into the dance hall looking like the way he does.
"Aren't you supposed to do the same?" He put his backpack down and sat on the edge of the sidewalk, giving him a clear view of our school right in front of us.
I shrugged and watched the dancing silhouettes and neon lights escaping the glass windows. Absentmindedly, my lips stretched into a smirk at this ironic moment. Alfred and I barely talked in school. He's the star athlete and I'm just an English literature-obsessed geek he only had to approach when he needs help with class. Not that I mind it or anything, I just don't have any other way to put it more simply.
"I didn't really have the chance to ask the person I like," Alfred broke the awkward silence.
I secured my luggage near me and took a seat beside him though I wasn't sure if it was the cold that made his face turn bright red or he was blushing. "Why not? I don't know of any girl who'd dare refuse your offer if you had the chance."
He smirked at the ground. "I never really had the guts, no. Didn't expect that from a bigheaded player like me, didya?"
Alfred looked at me almost as if assuring himself that I would give him a positive answer. "We never really talked, y' know," he continued, his baby blue eyes glowing against the dim streetlights. "Always at the library, if not in the classroom. It makes me feel like a total jerk every time I talk to him when I need help with English class… that person I wanted to ask. I wanted to, really. I was just worried, okay scared, that he might think I was hitting on him, that it was ridiculous and I was hopeless and he might bulldoze my face with his hardbound copy of Macbeth."
I laughed. Alfred and his strong sense of humor. I couldn't help but laugh because whatever he said was all too familiar I must've misheard it. I laughed so much it hurt. "Alfred, that's – that's just –!"
The song ended as my laughter died. Just when I thought Alfred was walking out on me for laughing at him, another song played. He stood in front of me and curtsied.
"Shall we dance?"
Considering my rotten luck, I wanted to pinch my cheeks to check if I was daydreaming. Still, I rose up and wrapped my arms around him while he did the same to me. We held each other so close as if one would fade away if the other let go. Alfred smelled like rain forest and I wished I smelled something as pleasant. We couldn't have been anywhere better. Right there under the streetlights and the pale moonlight, we swayed into the music as the melting world surrounded us. Nobody was watching, nobody was judging, nobody was telling us we're wrong. We gazed into each other's eyes, filling the silence with words left unsaid.
"You too?"
The three minutes came to an end and we were once again sitting side by side on the edge of the sidewalk with our bags lumped up before us.
"I ran away," Alfred said, fiddling with the hemline of his jacket. "I'm so fed up with everybody telling me 'no, don't do that' or 'you should do what we say because we know what's good for you'. I mean, they never even bothered asking me about what I want so I'm going after it once and for all."
He looked at me. "What about you?"
I began with a sigh as I recounted what happened before we came across each other. Mine was a simpler story, cliché even. At least Alfred had the choice I didn't have.
"Must be tough coming from a family with a long military background, huh?" He asked.
I chuckled. "Clearly, my family wasn't ready. Everybody was expecting me to live their lives but I can't do that. I can't surrender my life to anybody."
I was too preoccupied that I failed to notice it was drizzling until the heavy raindrops spat on my skin. The first thing that came into my mind was to rescue our belongings somewhere dry, under the roof of the nearby coffee shop which reminded me of my postponed dinner.
"Alfred?"
"Yeah?"
"What are you doing?"
From inside the school building, the music switched from mellow to upbeat, the kind that they play on house parties I never attended. The rain didn't seem to trouble Alfred at all - he was swanking off his goofy dancing, owning the middle of the street. I wrinkled my nose with an awkward smile. I wanted to cover my face with my hands but I told myself I wasn't the one who should feel embarrassed.
"Celebrating my freedom! Haven't you heard of the word before?" He said and pranced across the street towards me.
"I-I don't think so. Here, let me check my dictionary," I said, rejecting his unspoken offer. "Alfred, I-I'm fine under the roof, really."
If there was anything I hate the most when it rains, it would be my shoes getting wet. I never liked the sensation of cold socks against soppy leather. But I guess I had to forget all about that when Alfred grabbed my arm and dragged me under a lamppost.
"You silly boy! Wait until I put my hands on my hardbound copy of Macbeth!"
"They're playing Hot Chelle Rae! How can you not enjoy that?"
"You're impossible!"
We laughed and danced even though I didn't know how. We lost ourselves into the music, put our hands in the air and nodded our heads like crazy and jumped and stomped our feet in and out of beat. I never felt so free it was as if I was another soul and I would never forget that night …
I trailed along the wet pavement with luggage on one hand, a cup of hot chocolate on the other and a question in my head: where should I go?
Then there came Alfred who took me by the hand, looked at me straight in the eyes and told me I wasn't alone, not anymore. Together we wandered aimlessly until we finally found a place… somewhere we truly belong.
From that time on, I knew I was home.
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