It was the annual Titans reunion following their breakup five years. This time, the location just so happened to be at the home of Beast Boy and Raven. They had been living together since the Titans disbanded, got married, and adopted Melvin, Teether, and Timmy together. A pretty normal life all things considered, but there was one aspect of it that just plain bothered Cyborg beyond all belief.
"All right now grass stain, what's new in your totally and utterly 'platonic' relationship with Raven?" He said the "platonic" part in the snarkiest tone of voice he could possibly muster.
"Oh nothing much, Rae's pregnant now."
"Seriously?"
"Yep!"
Cyborg stared at Beast Boy with the most stoic and straight faced expression he had ever put on.
"Are you seriously going to still claim that your just friends?"
"Why not? That's what we are!"
"You've lived together for five years."
"It was convenient!" Beast Boy countered.
"You're married"
"For tax purposes!" he countered again.
"You're raising kids together with a biological one on the way!"
"Hey leave them out of this, those kids need us!"
That was true. Out of all the Titans, Raven and Beast Boy had come out on top as the two the youngest Titans looked up to the most, and it wasn't helped at all when the three started referring to them as "Mom and Dad" one of day, and the two just kind of accepted it from then on.
Cyborg gave a sigh of regret, "Alright fine, but what about your two's little lovechild that's on the way.?"
"I don't know, it just happened. We don't have to love each other to have a kid."
It was time for a new strategy. Taking a deep breath, Cyborg presented his case.
"Ok, if you two are just friends, then why do you two spend so much time together? Going out to dinner, to the movies, plays, sleeping in the same bed at night, cuddling in the morning?"
"Is it so wrong for friends to hang out with each other so much?"
"Not to mention, you're exclusively having sex with Raven, and nobody else?"
"Hey, I think she's hot, she thinks I'm hot, and we have needs to take care of."
"And the part about you two being exclusive?"
"Eh, don't feel like going out with anybody else." He shrugged.
"And why is that?"
"Because I want to spend my time with Raven."
"But you're not in love?"
"Nope!"
Letting out a groan of frustration, Cyborg facepalmed, stretching his bottom eyelids out in exasperation.
"Ok, let me try something else. If it was us living together, and I was into men, would we be like you and Raven are?"
"Nah."
"And why would that be?"
"Because you're a robot, how would that even work?" Beast Boy pointed out the obvious.
Son of a bitch, he had a point.
"I just don't get why this is so hard for you to believe rust-bucket."
"Gee, I dunno, maybe it's because you're telling me that you married your 'friend with benefits' for tax purposes, are raising a family together, and have no interest in seeing other people. Maybe that could be it?" Cyborg proclaimed. If Raven were, she would probably have congratulated him on his level of snark. Right before throwing him across the street of course, since it was partially directed at her as well.
"Geeze Cy, it's like you've never had sex with a friend before."
"Gyaaaaaaaaaah!" Cyborg threw his hands up in exasperation and made his way toward the door. "Aaaaaaaaaa!" he continued to yell as he opened the door, and turned one last time: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" he continued to yell while walking down the street, Beast Boy could hear it drowning out in the distance.
Raven entered the room, "What was that all about?" she asked.
"Cyborg has this weird idea that we're romantically involved."
Raven gave one of her soft smiles, only reserved to those closest to each other. She pulled him into a loving kiss before pulling back.
"Dick and Starfire were questioning me about the same thing, where do they even get that impression from?"
Beast Boy smiled back at her, giving her a quick peck on the cheek.
"No idea, Rae, no idea at all." he said in genuine confusion. "Say, want to go out on Valentine's Day next week? You could teleport us to Venice, get Terra and Hot Spot to babysit the kids, and catch a gondola ride."
"Sounds like a pleasant idea, Garfield"
