Title: Well Read

Rating: T (for some language)

Summary: Prior to being whisked away by the Christa, Miss Davenport discovers Commander Goddard throwing himself a pity party in his "quiet spot" at the Starcademy. Both are under pressure from outside forces and for very different reasons. Commiserating over a shared bottle of scotch, truths are shared, while other secrets lie beneath the surface.

Disclaimer: I don't own Space Cases. Also, Saturnian Dreamer is the reason this crazy conspiracy idea of mine has gotten serious fleshing out, so thank you, thank you, thank you.

She found him holed up in one of the tucked away catacombs of the school. Top floor, under a thick-plated sheet of glass that looked out to the heavens that surrounded the school. Had her father not suggested the location, TJ never would have thought to seek out Commander Goddard here. There he was though, laying prone on the ground, discarded jacket and vest beside him, as he stared upward through the window. For a moment, she thought he was sleeping until, upon approach, she saw his eyes wide open, and wet streaks on his cheeks. Her heart ached seeing him that way. While TJ Davenport typically would have felt the need to scold the man for obviously drinking (noting the bottle of scotch and glass beside the discarded pieces of his uniform), his glistening baby blues, shining with unshed tears gave her pause. This situation called for a more delicate hand.

Gently lowering herself to the floor beside him, she tentatively made her presence known. "Commander?"

"How did you know where to find me?" he asked brusquely.

Slightly taken aback, she told him, "I didn't. Father suggested I look here. Apparently it was a favorite place of yours as a student?"

That earned a brief half smile. "I should have guessed."

"I take the liquor wasn't part of your early days though," she observed wryly.

"You gonna rat me out?" he challenged.

TJ paused, making a quick decision as she studied his face, before answering. "No," she said softly.

Seth sat up then, getting a better look at her to gauge whether or not she was serious as he wiped his face and eyes with the sleeve of his red uniform shirt. After a moment, he determined she was sincere and sighed. "You should."

"Pardon?"

"Drinking on duty must be a violation of something," he offered.

"Are you on duty?"

"I'm always on duty."

TJ pulled a face. "That's not quite how this all works. You are not currently in the vicinity of any students. No one can see the state you are in. Except me of course, but I never would have found you had my dad not given me the idea."

"Details."

"Why are you up here, Commander?" TJ asked tentatively. There had to be a reason he was in such an isolated spot, alone, with the remnants of tear tracks on his face.

"Needed a place to think," he said vaguely. "As a student, I had always done my best thinking here. Found this spot accidentally while exploring during my first year. I liked the solitude. Did my best work up here."

"Did you come here often?" TJ asked curiously.

"Couple times a week," he said with a shrug. "Your dad was the only one who knew where I'd go when I needed to be alone to think or get work done. Library was too crowded, dorms were too noisy. Kept my secret all these years. Until now." He added those last words with an edge to his voice.

"I'm sorry," she said quickly. "When I couldn't find you anywhere, I got slightly panicked and the only person I could think to ask where you may have gone to was Father. Even he was vague. He revealed your location through a series of riddles and puzzles that I needed to work out myself." She rolled her eyes at that.

Goddard full out grinned at that news. "But you figured it out." He nudged her playfully as he said that.

TJ flushed a deep shade of red. "Yes. Well…." She scrambled to think of something to say in response to that, finally landing on, "How did Father discover you would come here?"

"He had heard from a few people that I disappeared occasionally and they didn't know where to find me. So, your dad followed me one night and saw me come here." Seth smiled at the memory. "He said he was relieved I was here and not off planning trouble somewhere else."

TJ smiled softly. "I could say the same."

Glancing over, Seth shot her a lopsided smirk, seeing in her eyes how it briefly disarmed her before continuing. "Your dad and I talked for a long time that night. He made me promise to keep a watch from then on so I could keep track of time. Apparently I had been spending hours at a time here. Never felt like it though." He paused as he thought about what he was saying. "I was gone for hours wasn't I?" he asked sheepishly.

Her raised eyebrows were all the answer he needed. "Is that why you were panicked? Thought maybe I ran?" Seth was trying to keep the mood light, but in the back of his mind, he wondered if she thought him capable of running.

TJ hummed slightly before answering. "You are many things Commander. A deserter is not one of them."

"How do you know that?"

"You've been here for over two and a half years, Commander. If you were going to run off, you would have done so long ago," she pointed out. "And perhaps you should start heeding Father's advice and start keeping that watch again."

Her cheeky grin almost did him in. "I forgot it in my room… wait. So you were worried?"

Her cheeks reddened again. "No," she denied. "Annoyed, perhaps, that you missed yet another staff meeting-"

"Oh. Oops-"

"But then the Headmistress made some less than kind remarks about it as well and made some passive aggressive commentary about my inability to 'keep Commander Goddard under control.' I'll have you know-"

Seth sat straight up then, sobering instantly, eyes darkening with concern. "TJ, did she threaten you?" he asked worriedly.

"I wouldn't call it a threat," she said quickly, backpedaling. "Just implying that I'm not doing my job." She sighed loudly and stared wistfully up at the stars.

"It's not true," he said quietly. "I don't know anyone who works as hard as you."

"You're probably the only person who feels that way," she said dismissively. Reaching across his body, she snatched up the bottle of scotch that had been beside him and inspected the label. "Dad's favorite," she murmured.

"Who do you think gave it to me?" he asked quietly.

Another eyebrow quirk. A wry smile. A twist of the cap. Then a deep swig straight from the bottle. Seth's jaw hung open. It didn't escape TJ's notice. "Never seen a woman drink before?" she demurred.

"Never seen you drink before," he offered back with a smirk. "Let alone straight from the bottle. I didn't know you had it in you."

"Lots of things you don't know about me." A wide smile, a challenge.

"Anything you're willing to share?"

Another deep swig from the bottle. "Father really does have excellent taste," she noted.

He laughed. "Changing the subject. Although I'm not sure whether to be impressed or shocked by this turn of events."

TJ turned contemplative, considering her words before speaking. "It's rather hard sometimes. I work hard to prove to everyone that I have earned my keep. I work late and come in early. My reports are always filed early and I stay abreast of each student's personal progress, regardless of their academic level."

"I know. No one works as hard as you," he repeated.

"Then why does it feel as though I can't do anything right?"

"Who told you that?"

"Everybody. The Headmistress is constantly reminding me of my place and-"

"Your place?" The Commander looked genuinely concerned. "As an administrator?"

"She's not an easy personality to deal with," TJ admitted.

"The Bride of Frankenstein?" he quipped.

TJ snorted. "Commander!" she chastised, but giggled despite the mild admonishment. "Heavens, she does look like that, doesn't she."

"That hair!"

"Good heavens, that hair!"

Both laughed at their shared realization, taking turns pulling long drinks from the bottle. "It's okay to say it to me," he assured her. "I won't tell."

TJ glanced sideways at him, noting his genuineness before continuing. "I know."

Seth tried going back to the original topic, now that TJ seemed more relaxed. "What makes her a tough personality?"

TJ sighed. "I… have a lot of pressure on me. Everything I've gained in life has been earned through a tremendous amount of work. I'm not the sort of woman who looks for things to be handed to me," she started.

"I know that," he agreed. "You do things the right way or not at all."

"I suppose," she said.

"You do," he repeated emphatically.

She flopped onto her back and heaved a great sigh. "Then why does it feel as though every choice I make is scrutinized by her? I chose to move up the ladder because I felt like I could use the position to impact all the students of the Starcademy, just like my father had. Instead, I'm made to feel like an ineffective figurehead on a daily basis."

"How?" Goddard was curious.

She thought for a minute. "All right. You are aware Mr. Radu has been having a struggle acclimating?"

He nodded. "Caught Trevor Stodsky and his goons swarming him last week. I broke everything up before it could get messy," Seth told her.

"Unfortunately that's not the only incident with him and other students. The bullying has been cruel and I refuse to stand for it," she explained passionately.

"As you should," he readily agreed. "Radu is soft spoken and aware of his own strength. He is afraid of hurting anyone which is why he refuses to fight back."

"Which is why you helped him?" she asked.

"It was the right thing to do," he answered with a shrug.

"I agree with you. The boys were sent to my office soon after and I began the process of disciplinary action. When I presented it the Headmistress I was ordered to not pursue the matter," she revealed.

"What?!" he yelped. Seth's face held a mix of confusion and anger. "That woman let them off? No punishment for aggressively threatening Radu?"

"It wasn't just last week. It's been a half dozen similar incidents since Radu arrived. The poor boy's grades are suffering, even though I believe he is quite bright. I have been tutoring him on the side despite having been ordered not to help him either," she sighed. In a voice barely above a whisper, she added, "I don't know what to do."

"That woman," he growled menacingly.

TJ sat up. "Seth-"

"It's wrong!" he yelled. "She's allowing a child to be brutally terrorized in a place he should feel safe. I should give her a piece-"

TJ caught his hand just as he made to get up. "Don't. I'm afraid that if you go storming the proverbial castle it'll only make things worse for me."

His eyes narrowed. "What do you mean, worse for you?" he asked suspiciously.

"I'm already in enough trouble-"

"TJ?"

"She's rather vocal about wanting both you and Radu gone," she lamented. "I've been trying to fight back, arguing the case for each of you it's only putting extra pressure on me to produce results. And it's frustrating to no end because for very different reasons, neither of you are helping!" The last part came out shouted before she lost steam, flopping onto her back once more and sniffling.

Oh fuck, she's crying, Seth thought to himself. "TJ?" he asked carefully.

"'It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves,'" she whispered tearily.

"I'm sorry?"

"It's Shakespeare. Julius Caesar."

"Okay. Work with me here. It's been a long time since I read Shakespeare," he requested.

"I know that I need to control my own destiny and not to blame outside factors - the fates, Mr. Radu... you… for when things go awry. It needs to be me that accepts the blame. I'm the Assistant Principal. The buck needs to stop with me, especially when my superior refuses to handle things. That's what that quote is saying," she explained.

"Okay. I follow the meaning. You need to clear up the application," he prompted.

"You both need an ally. Someone willing to stand up for and support you both. I want to be that person. My job is to protect every student in my care, as well as to monitor your progress," she explained.

"Radu needs allies, agreed. I don't need help," he argued.

"I beg to differ," she shot back.

"Why? I made my decisions, got stripped of my rank and my life's work, and sent here to be scrutinized in a line of work that I'm no good at," he continued. "I'm not the person you want to ally with, especially if you dream of taking out the Queen Bitch and running this school one day."

"I never said anything about-"

"Didn't have to. People like you- the work horses, the genuine hard workers who earn their keep, deserve to be rewarded for their diligence. But hanging around with me… I accepted responsibility for Reaver and took the demotion because at the end of the day, as a Captain, the buck had to stop with me. Your position is important to you Miss Davenport. Fighting for a washed out, stripped in rank, former starship Captain will only cause more trouble."

"I wish you'd see what I do," she implored.

"And what's that?"

"You may have lost your rank Commander, but it didn't change your core values. The traits that make you a person worth standing up for," TJ told him firmly.

"And what might you suggest those are?" he said bitterly.

"Only a man of great integrity, nobility, and morality could clearly see what was happening with Radu and summon the courage to intervene- on more than one occasion- to try and end the repeated assaults on the boy. You care more for him than you care to admit-"

"What!-"

"And that's okay," she continued. "I do as well. Some of my reports that are filed even speak to your character. But you can't keep skipping meetings and coming late for class. I can't hide those transgressions forever, despite the amount of paperwork I've filled out but not filed."

He was deeply troubled. "What do you mean 'hide them?'" His mind and heart were racing. She couldn't mean that she was covering for-

"I want you to be able to go back out into space. To be the STARDOG you've always been. The Headmistress, Command, the tribunal- none of them will allow it if my final reports suggest otherwise."

"So you've been lying?"

"No! Heavens, Commander, I'm not a liar," she defended. "I may have omitted some things in my final drafts, but none of what has been submitted has been a lie."

"Why?"

Fresh tears pooled in her hazel eyes again as she answered softly, "Because, while I am in the minority, I have not given up on you. Neither has Father. Both of us feel you have so much more to give. Speaking for myself, I know the noble, brave, courageous captain is still inside you. Please show that wisdom to the students. Preferably before your assignment ends."

"How do I do that?" he wondered sourly. "Other than Radu who is facing real uphill battles, the rest of the misfits in my class are a mess. Tomorrow I have to break the news that their field exercise- which is about the only thing I've been excited about, let alone them- is cancelled. Gonna be a glorified babysitter. Yay." He laid back, parallel to her, gazing upward at the stars. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."

"Oscar Wilde? Interesting choice of words," she said.

"How do you do that?" he asked.

"Do what?"

"Always know where a quote comes from."

"I'm well-read," she said with a blush.

He looked over at her in awe. "You're brilliant."

TJ met his eyes, surprised by the adoration suddenly shining in them. She was captivated by him, sensing some sort of shift through her alcohol induced buzz. Many things ran through her head, but what escaped was, "You're no slouch yourself."

His eyebrows raised and a lopsided smirk appeared once more across his features. "I'll remember that next time you're referring to me in colorful terms." He had meant to wind her up slightly, and to his great pleasure, saw it had hit the mark.

Her eyes widened and she reached out to shove him away. "Honestly, Commander! Sometimes you are far too kind and the next moment, you're a great lummox!"

"Lummox?" His grin widened.

She scrambled up to her feet, wavering as she realized the scotch had made her unsteady. "I'm leaving," she declared.

He jumped beside her. "TJ, sit down," he told her.

"I will do no such thing!"

"You can barely stand up. Your dad would kill me if I let you try to stumble your way back to your quarters like this," he reasoned.

She contemplated this, then plopped gracelessly onto the floor. "I imagine he'd think you a bad influence, considering it was yourself that provided the liquor."

"You just showed up!" he argued. "And you helped yourself to the scotch without being offered!"

"You didn't stop me. I bet if I reached for more, you'd still let me," she shot back cheekily.

He considered this before replying, "But will you?" A challenge. Why did he enjoy the challenges she threw at him and likewise throwing them back?

She glared at him, seeing his smirk waver for a moment. If she were honest, that smirk was unnerving her. Best to forge on and pretend it doesn't affect her. With a sigh, she admitted, "Probably not. I'm not drunk-"

"Could have fooled me-"

"But I'm impaired enough to know I should not drink anymore. Besides, Father is coming tomorrow and I would quite like to be sober to enjoy his company," she revealed.

"Your dad is coming? Tomorrow?"

"Surely you knew that," TJ chastised. "Heaven knows the pair of you talk enough."

"He might have mentioned it," Seth said vaguely, racking his liquor soaked brain for that bit of information.

"Yes, well, he is. We're having a father-daughter theater night and after he wanted to discuss some things with me," she revealed. "It's been far too long since Father and I were able to sit together without a viewscreen between us."

"What does he want to talk about?" Seth asked curiously. It was true that Seth had expressed many concerns to his mentor over the years, especially regarding the Headmistress and what he suspected was a layer of not so kosher things happening. And while he had certainly given TJ more than a few headaches, part of it was to protect her from what he had been seeing. It sounded like she might be catching on… but… no, not completely. Could James be looking to reveal truths? Would she temper her naturally curious side and lay low? Or put herself in harm's way? Or-

"Commander?" Her voice snapped him from the silent rambling in his head.

"What?"

"I was saying Father wouldn't divulge what he wanted to talk about. Perhaps you know?"

He shook his head. Too much alcohol in his system to clearly think of what James might say. "No."

"Well, then please don't do anything overtly stupid while I'm gone," she pleaded. More softly she added, "I might not be able to save you from that."

He visibly gulped. "I'll- do my best," he managed.

"Good." Slowly getting back up, she steadied herself as Seth leapt to his feet after her.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I really should get back to my quarters," she told him. "Father will be here in the morning, but we need to break the bad news to the children first."

"I hate this," he ground out.

"I assure you, I gain no pleasure from this either. However, field training in space is both a privilege and a reward for excellence. I just wish they could be out there. It would shut the Headmistress up and give me some leverage to protect you- the children." She sighed. "I need your help, Commander."

"What can I do in three weeks' time, Miss Davenport? I'm not a miracle worker." His voice revealed a defeat she hadn't registered before.

"Perhaps channel some of that Oscar Wilde you were quoting earlier," she challenged. "I'm aware of your feelings of being at the lowest point of your life but here is a real chance to do some good. Don't just look to the stars you've been staring at all evening. Get back to them, where I'm aware you're meant to be."

She turned to go then, leaving him gaping behind her. "Let me at least walk you back to your quarters," he offered.

Looking back over her shoulder, she shook her head. "I've intruded on your private thinking spot long enough."

"It was good company," he said sincerely.

"I'll bet you say that to all the girls who come up here with you," she said teasingly.

His serious, troubled look wiped the cheeky smile from her face. "I don't bring people here," he told her quietly. "Davenports seem to find me-" She had the grace to look guilty. "- but otherwise, this has been my Fortress of Solitude. You're the only woman who's ever been here. With me. Well, not *with* me but…" He flushed a crimson red as he tried to backpedal. "You know what I mean."

She muffled a small laugh that threatened to escape. He looks cute all flustered like that, she thought. Just as quickly as that unbidden thought appeared, she beat it back. The more rational part of her brain reminded her that there were consequences for fraternizing. "Good night, Commander," she whispered before leaving him alone with his thoughts.

Sitting against the wall, he took a long drink from the bottle and stared at the ceiling. "For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream. Van Gogh." With a heavy sigh, he shook his head and resumed his line of thinking from before TJ had interrupted.