Laura picked up her phone. There was something she needed to do. She'd been languishing for the last few days. Of course, no one-except perhaps for the Admiral-would have noticed. She prided herself on her ability to work through anything: illness, the apocalypse, and heart break. Billy. He'd be bringing her another cup of tea right now. Telling her to take a little break.
She used to humor him, letting him think she was following his orders. Mainly she thought he was sweet. The amount of concern he showed her. It hadn't diminished when she recovered. After the miracle. If anything, it increased, as though he were afraid she'd relapse at any minute unless he remained diligent.
She was able to fill his position quickly enough. But the Billy sized hole in her heart? That would remain empty, probably forever.
Laura called the CIC. Dee answered. "Madame President, the Admiral isn't on duty at the moment, but I could put you through to his quarters."
Laura smiled. Dee was endlessly pleasant. Helpful. She was Bill's very own version of Billy. The thought gave her another pang. It had been years since her thoughts actually caused her pain. She clenched through it, forcing the smile back into her voice. "Actually, Dee, it was you I wanted to speak with."
"Of course, Madame President. What can I do for you?"
"I'm planning a small memorial service for Billy. Nothing major, just for those of us who knew him best." She paused. She was doing so well, putting it in terms of work, something to do, to be done. But all she could think about was how Billy wasn't there. She was almost there. She just needed to finish her thought, her request. "And, I'd like for you to be there. I mean you were the most important person in his life-"
"I'm sorry, I'm going to have to correct you there, Madame President. You were the most important person in his life."
"I was his boss."
"You were a lot more than that to him, sir. And I, um, I wanted to-"
"No. That's not why I called."
"It was my fault."
"And how is that exactly?"
"I hurt him. Broke his heart."
Laura couldn't deny that was true. She'd seen the anguish his face couldn't hide. That was part of the reason she'd sent him to Cloud Nine. She wanted him to get away from the hum drum life of Colonial One. He was on business, sure, but it wasn't urgent. She'd hoped he'd spend some time socializing. She knew he'd never drink when he was on duty, but she hoped he'd have some fun. Instead, he had died. "That may be true, but you didn't shoot him. And I'm the one who sent him there, so I'm as much to blame as you." She sighed. "Here's how I see it. If we were to sit down and list all those responsible for what happened, the list would probably include every member of the fleet and the cylons. So, can we just accept it was a terrible tragedy, and focus on remembering Billy?"
She heard a sigh on the other end. She hoped it was relief, but she wasn't sure. "Sure. I'd like that. What do you need me to do?"
Laura smiled. They were back to doing. "Just show up."
"I think I can do that."
"I know you can, Dee. Thank you."
Laura hung up. Pulled out her to-do list, and crossed off Dee's name. She was one step closer to completing the task. She checked the time, smiling. Billy would have been trying to get her to eat dinner right now. "Okay, Billy, I'll eat. But only because I'm hungry. Being the President's a lot of work, you know."