Dedicated to WhenLighteningStrikes for being an awesome writer and for understanding when I take forever to review her stories (not to read them! Just to review them ;).
"She is a living fire, she is a reason to live, she is killing me burning only for him."
Sam arrives at the restaurant a few minutes ahead of schedule. He knows Sally will be early, because that's the kind of girl she is, and he knows Casey will be late, because that's the kind of guy she's with. He wants a few minutes alone with Sally to prepare her for what's to come. Except he doesn't know if you're ever really prepared for something like this, if there are any words that will make this right and acceptable. But, as someone who has dealt with this—situation—for two years running, he figures he has a duty to warn the girl who has recently become such a huge part of Derek's life.
He wanders over to the table where she's sipping on oolong or Earl Grey or something equally artsy and adult. He knows this because that's what Casey drinks, and Sally might as well be Casey's calmer, blonder twin sister, except without that spark that makes Casey so fascinating and so impossible to give up. She glances up as he slides into the booth across from her with his back to the door.
"Hey, Sam! Casey's not with you?" Typical. Derek leaves Sam to do his dirty work.
"No. Derek's bringing her." As usual, he tries to keep the bitterness from his voice. It's getting harder.
"Oh. I guess that makes sense." Does it really, though? Sam doesn't think so. He's Casey's boyfriend. He should be picking her up and dropping her off and taking her wherever she wants to go, especially on dates, which this is. This is a double date, and right now the pairs are mismatched.
"I'm so glad I thought of doing this," Sally says, smiling at him, completely unaware of what is about to take place. "We're going to have a lot of fun." Sam stares at her, unable to believe she truly thinks that being around Derek and Casey together is fun. How exactly does she imagine this little scenario playing out? Because he knows that as soon as the other two arrive, he and Sally will fade into the background, the supporting cast in Derek and Casey's never-ending soap opera. He can't let her continue under this delusion. He leans forward, willing her to understand his words.
"Have you ever been around Casey and Derek before? I mean, when they're together?"
"Of course I have."
"Really?" She tilts her head at him as if he's crazy. And maybe he is. Why else would he continue in this masochistic relationship, in which he is forced to—in which he chooses—to watch the bizarre courtship perpetrated by his best friend and his girlfriend.
"Sam, I've been to their house a million times. Sure, they go at each other every now and then, but it's nothing I can't handle."
"Sally, they don't go at each other every now and then. They go at each other constantly. Any time they're in a room together. And when they're not together, they're talking about how much they hate each other. And when they're not talking about that, they're planning ways they're going to 'go at' one another the next time they're together. The way they act together, it's…" Sam can't think of the right way to describe Derek and Casey's sexual-but-not relationship. He can only describe the way it makes him feel. "It's…frustrating and it's…hurtful." And still she doesn't understand.
"Well, yeah, I'd say they are hurtful to each other. Derek says some seriously mean things to Casey. I don't know how she puts up with it. Did you want me to talk to him about it, or something?" Sam almost slams his palms onto the table in frustration, but settles for running his hand violently through his hair.
"No, I mean it's hurtful to—"
"Oh, look, there they are!" Sam hears a car door slam and muffled yelling. Yep. There they are. He can't bring himself to turn around just yet. He looks up at Sally as she stands to wait for them to come inside. She looks so…innocent and unconcerned. He hates that that will change, and hopes for her sake that she is stronger than Sam is, that she can break free from Derek's magnetic pull in a way he can't from Casey's.
Because he is watching Sally and not the scene outside, he registers the second her face morphs from exasperation to a horrified comprehension. He finally turns. He always forces himself to watch Casey and Derek be Casey and Derek. He's determined that one day he will see something that will break Casey's hold over him, that will hurt him enough that his love for her will die and he'll be able to say, "Case, it's been fun; I'll see you around," and leave. So far nothing has worked. She's still crazy and beautiful and fun and smart and just so herself that Sam can't help loving her, can't help wanting to be with her.
This argument doesn't look any different from the others. Casey's face is flushed and furious, and Derek is standing too close. Then Sam glances down. Derek's hand is on her hip simultaneously trying to push her away and keep her near. His palm presses against her front pocket, but his fingers curl possessively along the curve of her ass.
Sam swallows. Is this it? Will this mostly innocent, completely par for the course moment be the one that sets him free? Casey never lets him touch her so familiarly in public. She says she believes touching anywhere but the shoulders and the hands and maybe occasionally the stomach should be reserved strictly for private moments. Any public display of casually naughty affection is disrespectful to her and anyone who could see them, never mind that no one ever pays them any attention. Even when they kiss in his room she only lets him get a quick grope in before she reprudifies herself and tells him she isn't interested in going that far yet.
Sam wouldn't mind waiting. Really he wouldn't; he's not a jerk. But he knows she lets Derek touch her more intimately than she's ever allowed Sam to do. Sam knows this because he's seen their fights—not their verbal sparring, but the knock down, drag out ones they have every chance they can. At first it was funny, and then Sam started noticing how Derek would press his pelvis against Casey's to pin her down, or the way Casey would thrust her chest out when struggling to get him off of her and always maneuver it so he was on top. Finally, they stopped wrestling in front of Sam altogether, and that's when he knew there was more to it than just sibling rivalry.
But Sally hasn't witnessed any of that yet, or, at least, she witnessed it with an untainted perspective. Sam knows his suggestion of the inappropriateness of Derek and Casey's relationship is what triggered that look he saw in her eyes—one of complete disbelief and dismay. He's sorry for it, but she needed to know. And maybe if she knows, she'll do something about it—like dump Derek. And if she has the courage to do that, maybe some of it will rub off on Sam, because nothing else is working, and things really can't continue on as they have been. Not if Sam wants to escape the relationship with his sanity, if not his heart, intact.
As Casey and Derek approach the door, Sam turns back around to check on Sally. She is still staring outside, but when the chime on the door rings, she shoots him a desperate look. He doesn't know what she wants—an explanation? Advice? A place to hide? Sam has none of those things—if he did, he probably wouldn't be in this situation—so he just gives her a shrug and what he hopes is an encouraging nod. Call him on it. Please, please call him on it. He wants them in a fight right there in the restaurant. Casey would do it if she were in Sally's position.
They reach the table and Casey plunks down next to him as Derek gives Sally a greeting way at odds with his policy against public displays of affection. Sam doesn't miss the look he throws Casey or Casey's carefully averted eyes as she gives Sam a peck on the cheek. He also doesn't miss Sally's reaction—her initial hesitance and Derek's questioning look. But then she kind of shakes herself and smiles, leaning in for another kiss, effectively erasing Sam's last hope. He turns back to Casey.
"Hey, sorry we're late. You know how it is," she says, rolling her eyes. Yep. He knows exactly how it is. Because now he can smell her vanilla scent and feel her body curving into his. She gives his hand a quick squeeze before she reaches for the menu, and he knows he's lost yet again.
"It's no problem." He didn't know smiles could hurt so badly. "No problem at all."
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Hello, hello! This is my third LWD story and the third story in my "Unrequited Love" series—a series of unconnected, mostly introspective one-shots about unrequited love in the Dasey-verse. Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it.
So, please review! And check out the first story in the series, "So Nice, So Smart," which is about Noel, and the second, "Just Breathe," which is about Casey.
DISCLAIMER: Life With Derek and the song "Our Love" by Rhett Miller are properties of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.