A/N: I have to apologize for how long this has taken me, but I'm graduated from college with much more free time so I will be able to stick with this.
This is NOT canon compliant. This takes place after 'How stupid could I be' (previously "How Stupid Am I") and I highly recommend reading that first. SPOILERS FOR THAT STORY IF YOU READ ON. IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS, GO READ THAT FIRST OTHERWISE CONTINUE. If you don't want to read it, all you need to know is that Blaine slept with Sebastian during Kurt's senior year, causing Kurt to confront Sebastian. The two started a sex only relationship and Kurt ended it before he moved to New York. This picks up eight years later so Kurt and Sebastian are 26 (even though Sebastian was still a year behind Kurt in High School).
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
You're the only one I see
Chapter 1: Chance Encounter
Sebastian hated shopping for clothes on a good day and the week before Christmas in New York City was about as far from a good day as it could possibly get. The stores were overcrowded, the people were, if possible, even ruder than normal, and to make matters worse, Sebastian was convinced everything cost twice as much. The only saving grace that Sebastian could see was that he knew exactly what he needed to get and where it was located. Or where it had been located, since apparently the concept of returning items to their previous places was a foreign one to the people in the store.
An hour and twenty minutes later, his temper showed no signs of improving even as he walked out of the store into the chill December air. He drew his coat tighter against the wind, pushing his way in to the crowd, clutching his bag to his body to avoid losing it in the bustle of the city. Familiar sounds accosted him as he made his way towards the subway, the noisy buzz of people talking layering over everything though no individual words could be discerned and Sebastian wasn't listening anyway.
He existed in his own bubble, walking near but never interacting with anyone around him. His face was set, determined and blank, discouraging anyone from approaching him which was exactly how he wanted it. People in general weren't his favorite, and he avoided them whenever possible, a near impossible feat in a city with such a high population density. He had his circle of friends, most of them closer to admirers and leeches of his power and money – or his father's power and money – then because they actually liked him, but even those were held at arm's length.
'Home' was an apartment his father owned in the city, on the edge of Manhattan which meant it cost a small fortune but wasn't as over the top as the ones located closer to the city. Sebastian knew his dad was making a point by putting him up in such a low scale area, but since the last time he saw the man was close to six years ago, he wasn't all that concerned about the politics of his dad's world. He had agreed to work for the company, Smythe Enterprises, for five years after graduation if his dad paid for his school. After that, he was free.
Three years in and he was completely miserable, but no matter how poorly he performed, the manager refused to fire him. Once, he'd gone in to work wearing tight jeans and a wife beater, sweat and body glitter evident of a late night even if the smell of alcohol on his breath wasn't obvious enough, and no one had said a word. He'd gone home with a worse headache then the one he arrived with but not so much as a verbal warning.
The coffee shop wasn't some place he frequented, but when it was convenient he made a point of stopping in even if just to flirt with the barista. There were no deeper memories of this coffee shop, no half veiled threats made over overpriced watered down coffee and the flash of eyes that aren't quite blue or green but some weird mixture of the two that Sebastian could have look at forever and never put a name to. If there was ever something Sebastian Smythe would admit to regretting, it would begin and end with that boy from high school.
All of the coffee shops in New York City were required to be busy, and this one was no exception. The line filed around the edge of the shop and every table was occupied but Sebastian wasn't planning on lingering any longer than it took to get his nonfat vanilla latte. Hipsters and failed actors were the only people who hung out in coffee shops and Sebastian wasn't interested in either.
"Your regular?" The barista asked, giving Sebastian a confident smile that had Sebastian smirking in return as he nodded. Flirting was easy for him. He could exchange light banter as comfortably as breathing and Craig was always willing to reciprocate without expectation of going further. Soon enough his coffee was in his hand and he could be on his way. Or he could be if he didn't turn right into someone, spilling his coffee between them.
"Fuck!" He shouted, jumping back and holding his arms out as if that would keep the scalding liquid from his skin.
"I am so s- Sebastian?" For the first time, Sebastian looked at the other person, straight into eyes that even in seven years hadn't managed to settle on a single color.
"Ku – Hummel?" His voice betrayed his surprise even as he tried to keep his expression neutral. He thought he may have broken his façade for a moment, and was sure that Kurt could see through him as easily as when they were in high school. "Fancy seeing you here."
-xxxxxx-
Kurt wasn't one to believe in a higher power. Personally, he believed they were all chickens running around with their heads cut off trying not to crash in to anything. He did believe in fate, to a point, but in that moment all he could think was that someone or something was playing a cruel joke on him.
He'd moved on. Or he'd convinced himself he'd moved on since the pounding in his chest seemed to indicate otherwise. It was an ache directly over his heart that, when he tried to push it aside, grew in intensity until he would have been gasping for breath if he hadn't been working so hard to keep up the façade.
The shock at seeing Sebastian again almost made him forget the scalding liquid that drenched them. When he could tear his eyes away, he saw that his outfit was ruined – the white scarf around his neck stained brown and his yellow peacoat similarly discolored. It was with grim satisfaction that he noticed Sebastian's outfit was also going to require changing.
"I thought you were in Ohio," Kurt said, almost wincing at the rude tone Sebastian always seemed to bring out in him. "I mean…" Sebastian held a hand up to silence him and, to his mild annoyance, he shut his mouth.
"Obviously I'm not," he said. Kurt thought the sneer looked forced but didn't say anything. They hadn't known each other for a long time. Just because once Kurt had been able to read every microexpression that crossed Sebastian's face didn't mean the same rules applied now. Sebastian looked down at his outfit and groaned. "And now I'm going to be late for my company's Christmas party since I have to go all the way back to Manhattan to change."
"I'm right around the corner. You can borrow something from me if you don't mind looking like you just came off a Puerto Rican Pride parade." The words were meant to be mocking, an echo of an insult from high school, but instead they came off like a joke and Sebastian cracked a smile that looked more like a wince.
"Fine," he said. "But only because I'd probably miss the whole thing if I went all the way home."
Kurt tried to remember what his apartment looked like, desperately praying Rachel and Finn had cleaned up like they'd promised. Not that he would count on it, considering the fact that they were newlyweds and seemed to have a hard time leaving the bedroom. And that train of thought only reminded Kurt that he would need to find a new apartment soon, since one of his wedding gifts to Rachel and Finn was full ownership of the apartment. It wasn't close to Kurt's job anyway, although with his budget he doubted he would be able to afford much.
"So what are you doing in New York?" He asked Sebastian, unlocking the door to let them in to the building.
"Working," Sebastian said tersely. Kurt couldn't blame him for his attitude. Not a day went by that Kurt hadn't replayed their last conversation in his mind, cursing himself for his own insensitivity. But he had done what he had to. He had been coming to rely on Sebastian more than was healthy and he didn't want to give the teen a chance to hurt him.
He was relieved to see that the apartment was clean, no sign of Rachel or Finn. They'd graduated from the loft in their last year of NYADA to a real apartment, complete with walls and doors. It was small, though. Two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a kitchen that extended into a dining room/living room combo, but it was home.
"Wait here," he said, disappearing into his bedroom before waiting to see if Sebastian was going to listen. Thankfully, Sebastian's pants were coffee free because even though Kurt had grown, he was still several inches shorter although in a pinch Sebastian could wear something of Finn's. He grabbed a conservative button down shirt to replace the stained one and walked back out to find Sebastian looking at the shelves of books in the living room.
Sebastian looked good, he realized. He was still tall and slim, but he was broader in the shoulders and the arrogance that had once been prominent in his features was tempered. Kurt had to remind himself that he was the one who'd ended things; he had no right to be looking.
"I'm sorry," he said, mouth working without the permission of his brain. At Sebastian's raised eyebrow, he added, "For that day at Dalton."
"Which one?" Sebastian asked. "The one you came in and hit me? Or all the times after that?"
"All of them," Kurt said. "But mostly the last one. I…I messed up."
Sebastian spun to face him so fast Kurt almost fell backwards in his surprise. "I'm borrowing clothes from you. I'm not looking for a heart to heart or an apology. We fucked a few times. It wasn't like we were in love. You never owed me anything and I didn't owe you. We're strangers now and after I return this shirt tomorrow, we can go back to being strangers. So give me the shirt and I'll change and get out of here."
Kurt didn't have a response, so he just held the shirt out for Sebastian who took it and turned around. The stained shirt was off before Kurt realized what was happening and he felt himself blush before he turned around to give Sebastian a semblance of privacy. He heard a chuckle from Sebastian. "God, Kurt. Don't tell me you're still a prude. It's nothing you haven't seen before."
"Forgive me for giving you privacy," Kurt said, refusing to turn around until he was sure Sebastian was dressed. He'd only caught a glimpse of bare skin before turning around but it brought back memories of trailing kisses down his spine or the way his muscles would contract when he fought to retain control. "And for your information, I don't want anything from you. I just wanted to acknowledge that I should have ended it better. I'm not a teenager anymore, Sebastian. Even if I had any feelings for you, they would be long gone by now. Besides, I'm seeing someone."
He fought the urge to fidget under Sebastian's gaze, holding eye contact defiantly. Sebastian smirked after several moments and the tension between them eased. "Fair enough, Hummel. Now I should go. I'm already late and while my boss can't fire me, he can make my life difficult."
"Yeah. Blaine'll be here soon anyway," Kurt said, following Sebastian toward the door. He didn't expect Sebastian to stop at his words.
"You're back with Blaine?" He asked, voice sharp.
"Do you have a problem with that?"
"Nope. Couldn't care less," Sebastian said quickly. Kurt didn't read anything in to that. "Just didn't think you two were talking."
"A lot changes in eight years," Kurt replied. He wasn't going to discuss his personal life with Sebastian Smyth. Especially not this Sebastian, who he was realizing he didn't know at all. This wasn't the Sebastian he'd sought refuge with during his last year of high school that was abundantly clear. "Goodbye, Sebastian."
"Take care, Hu – Kurt," Sebastian said, turning away and walking out the door. Kurt closed it behind him and tried not to feel like he'd just missed an opportunity to fix his biggest mistake. Or second biggest mistake maybe; the first being his decision to take Blaine back.
Not that he didn't love Blaine; he did. Blaine was…Blaine. Ever since their reconciliation after Blaine started NYADA the year after Kurt, he'd been nothing but kind and supportive and loyal. He'd shown up in New York with a ring and talking about marriage, but Kurt had forstalled him on that. He had agreed to date again, but only on the condition that they went to therapy. Now, seven years and four proposals later, he didn't worry every time Blaine stayed out with the cast from his show or was ten minutes late for a date.
But that didn't mean he was entirely happy. Their relationship was perfect from the outside, but Kurt was bored. It was entirely selfish of him, and he knew it. What right did he have to be upset about anything? Blaine never forgot important dates. He always knew the right thing to say. At twenty-five he was already making a name for himself on Broadway and his latest show had been tapped for a Tony. He was basically everything Kurt had wanted in a partner since he'd seen his first Broadway show at age seven.
His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door and he laughed at himself when he startled. It was just Blaine, right on time for their date. He took a minute to compose himself, smoothing out the tension that lingered and erasing all thoughts of Sebastian.
"Right on time. Like always," Kurt said, lifting a hand to Blaine's shoulder when his boyfriend leaned forward to press a greeting kiss on his lips.
"Of course," Blaine said, stepping around him into the apartment. Kurt's eyes went straight to the dirty shirt but Blaine didn't seem to notice it. "Ready to go?"
"Just let me change. It was slow getting my coffee today," he said, grabbing the shirt and tossing it into Finn and Rachel's room so Blaine wouldn't notice. He was so focused on appearing nonchalant, he realized he'd missed Blaine's question. "Sorry. What did you say?"
"I just asked where your coffee is."
"I finished it already. Long day and if I have to spend the night playing nice with a bunch of stuffy business men, I need all the caffeine I can get." He walked out, buttoning his clean shirt as he walked and grabbing his coat from the rack by the door.
"Alright. Let's get this fundraiser over with."
"That's the spirit," Blaine said with a chuckle. Kurt, for his part, was finding it harder and harder to focus as Sebastian invaded his thoughts. Hopefully Blaine would be too busy to notice and the next day Kurt could forget about the man he'd probably never see again.
