"Cliché" - by Shinjin Chronicler
A story of lust, pie, and clicheness.
Disclaimer: All the disclaimer stuff you've seen in other fics applies here.
This fic is intended to be as cliché as possible. This is dedicated to the people out there who give positive reviews ("mro!1!1one Continuh or eles and emaiuh me new chaptahs!") and who review one-shots by telling the author to continue.
Besides being dedicated to the people above, big thanks to SilverCaladan for betaing this and everything.
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Usagi looked at the note she had been given. "5:30- Senshi meeting! Don't be late, asshole!" That was ok. Usagi had been told that being an asshole meant you were one helluva skateboarder. She could live with that. "I mean, I can go forward on a skateboard as well as Pamela Anderson!"
Pamela Anderson was Usagi's favorite skateboarder. Tony Hawk was her favorite model.
Luna padded on behind Usagi, randomly slurping, jumping, and bearing her teeth. Luna had gotten rabies recently, and was just about ready to lunge for Usagi's neck.
"Silly cat, you've got toothpaste all over your mouth!"
Luna sighed. She had always thought it would be cool to have rabies. Those kinds of diseases always carried a certain amount of sex appeal.
Usagi kept walking; blissfully unaware that she was three hours late.
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Usagi finally reached the Cherry Hill Temple, and stopped to rest before confronting the rest of the Senshi. She heard loud voices inside, and decided to listen to what everyone was saying.
"The DUMBASS! She should have arrived here three hours ago!"
"Yeah! I should tear her a new asshole! THROUGH HER GOD DAMNED RIBCAGE!!!"
"Shush, you. Mamo-chan, give it to me! We can make two Rinis!
"No problem, sweety buttons."
"Oh god.wait.Mamo-chan! No! The other hole! That one's the."
"I'm sorry. It must have been the pie."
"The pie? I've got some pie right here!"
"My turn comes next."
"MAMO-CHAN! I've filled out five inches since yesterday! So."
Usagi was confused. Were they baking cupcakes? Or maybe they were talking about pie!
"I like pie, too!" she thought. "Especially apple pie! Almost like Cheerios!"
Prepared to have a discussion about pie, she ventured inside the temple. Everything was overturned, whipped cream was splattered all over the ground and.one big playa named Mamoru sat in the middle, busy being "involved" with eight other girls.
Usagi was tempted to say that those girls were hers first, and that she had rightfully met them on her trip to Hawaii that she had given the pilot two cookies for. She was pretty sure it was Hawaii.but she still wondered why "Public Bathroom" was written all over the place. She pushed the thoughts out of her mind, and realized that HER Mamo-chan was cheating on her.
That was scheduled for yesterday! She stayed silent, softly crying as her best friends got laid. For a brief moment, she contemplated forgetting this incident to go clubbing, but forgot that thought due to her short memory.
Eventually, Mamoru and the Senshi realized Usagi was staring at them.
"Usagi?"
"Oh my GOD! Maybe she wants to join in?"
"Nah.isn't she supposed to be yelling now?"
"No shit, Sherlock."
"Oh! Maybe she's gained superior cerebral acumen, and wants to analyze our fucking procedures so she can maximize her potential benefit!"
"So.she wants to join in?
"Usagi, you're supposed to be doing something funny right now."
Usagi eventually came to her senses, and began gnashing her teeth while making wolf noises like she had seen on the Animal Channel. She walked over to Mamoru, and a reverberating *SLAP* was heard throughout the temple.
Mamoru's only response was "Mowr."
"Whoa.does Mamo-chan have a bitchslap fetish?"
"Who doesn't? I."
"Isn't this cool? I mean, we FRICKIN' RISK OUR LIVES for her almost every day, help her with anything she needs, try to be there for her- and now we're all suddenly fucking her boyfriend for NO REASON!"
"Yeah! And Mamoru is destined for her, does whatever he can, and all of a sudden he's demanding to have sex with all us!"
"Pretty convenient, huh!"
Usagi couldn't take it anymore. All the colors of the temple overloaded her brain, and soon she was going to start having seizures and twitching. Her brain was clogged quite a lot.
Somewhere in the temple, the sacred fire was raving with its dual glowsticks.
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Usagi broke down, whining in high pitched screaming noises that attracted huskies. Her boyfriend cheating on her was okay, but purposely overloading her small brain with colors? NO FAIR!!!
After the ordeal, Usagi had gone out clubbing. Of course, she met Setsuna there, and the two had walked out, chatting amiably about the Time Gate.
"So.next year it's my birthday!"
"Oh, WOW! I guess I'll be getting you those Orlando Bloom keychains, huh?"
"Yep. Every princess' dream. Now they're in PURPLE!!!"
"How sexy!"
However, Setsuna quickly brought her usual façade up again. She had to look mysterious. After all, how could she meet guys if she wasn't mystifying and cryptic all the time?
"Oh, by the way, my boyfriend cheated on me."
"That's okay. I will send you to the next dimension. There you will find true love. I will even give you a 'tru luv' t-shirt!"
"Gotcha! Off to all the hot guys I'll meet in the next dimension! Pluto, let's GOOOooOOooOOOoOOOOO!"
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Whoa. You have to admit, it had all the elements of a cliché story. Next chapter, I'm introducing the Gundam pilots. Obviously, in a very cliché- ish way and very.stupidly. Romance is cliché as well.
This fic is fun to write, and easy to write. So while I plan to continue "The Life and Times of Trowa Barton", I'll be able to pump out chapters of this really quickly. So many cliché things to use.
So.review if you liked it, review if you didn't like it, and have fun.
A story of lust, pie, and clicheness.
Disclaimer: All the disclaimer stuff you've seen in other fics applies here.
This fic is intended to be as cliché as possible. This is dedicated to the people out there who give positive reviews ("mro!1!1one Continuh or eles and emaiuh me new chaptahs!") and who review one-shots by telling the author to continue.
Besides being dedicated to the people above, big thanks to SilverCaladan for betaing this and everything.
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Usagi looked at the note she had been given. "5:30- Senshi meeting! Don't be late, asshole!" That was ok. Usagi had been told that being an asshole meant you were one helluva skateboarder. She could live with that. "I mean, I can go forward on a skateboard as well as Pamela Anderson!"
Pamela Anderson was Usagi's favorite skateboarder. Tony Hawk was her favorite model.
Luna padded on behind Usagi, randomly slurping, jumping, and bearing her teeth. Luna had gotten rabies recently, and was just about ready to lunge for Usagi's neck.
"Silly cat, you've got toothpaste all over your mouth!"
Luna sighed. She had always thought it would be cool to have rabies. Those kinds of diseases always carried a certain amount of sex appeal.
Usagi kept walking; blissfully unaware that she was three hours late.
-+-+-
Usagi finally reached the Cherry Hill Temple, and stopped to rest before confronting the rest of the Senshi. She heard loud voices inside, and decided to listen to what everyone was saying.
"The DUMBASS! She should have arrived here three hours ago!"
"Yeah! I should tear her a new asshole! THROUGH HER GOD DAMNED RIBCAGE!!!"
"Shush, you. Mamo-chan, give it to me! We can make two Rinis!
"No problem, sweety buttons."
"Oh god.wait.Mamo-chan! No! The other hole! That one's the."
"I'm sorry. It must have been the pie."
"The pie? I've got some pie right here!"
"My turn comes next."
"MAMO-CHAN! I've filled out five inches since yesterday! So."
Usagi was confused. Were they baking cupcakes? Or maybe they were talking about pie!
"I like pie, too!" she thought. "Especially apple pie! Almost like Cheerios!"
Prepared to have a discussion about pie, she ventured inside the temple. Everything was overturned, whipped cream was splattered all over the ground and.one big playa named Mamoru sat in the middle, busy being "involved" with eight other girls.
Usagi was tempted to say that those girls were hers first, and that she had rightfully met them on her trip to Hawaii that she had given the pilot two cookies for. She was pretty sure it was Hawaii.but she still wondered why "Public Bathroom" was written all over the place. She pushed the thoughts out of her mind, and realized that HER Mamo-chan was cheating on her.
That was scheduled for yesterday! She stayed silent, softly crying as her best friends got laid. For a brief moment, she contemplated forgetting this incident to go clubbing, but forgot that thought due to her short memory.
Eventually, Mamoru and the Senshi realized Usagi was staring at them.
"Usagi?"
"Oh my GOD! Maybe she wants to join in?"
"Nah.isn't she supposed to be yelling now?"
"No shit, Sherlock."
"Oh! Maybe she's gained superior cerebral acumen, and wants to analyze our fucking procedures so she can maximize her potential benefit!"
"So.she wants to join in?
"Usagi, you're supposed to be doing something funny right now."
Usagi eventually came to her senses, and began gnashing her teeth while making wolf noises like she had seen on the Animal Channel. She walked over to Mamoru, and a reverberating *SLAP* was heard throughout the temple.
Mamoru's only response was "Mowr."
"Whoa.does Mamo-chan have a bitchslap fetish?"
"Who doesn't? I."
"Isn't this cool? I mean, we FRICKIN' RISK OUR LIVES for her almost every day, help her with anything she needs, try to be there for her- and now we're all suddenly fucking her boyfriend for NO REASON!"
"Yeah! And Mamoru is destined for her, does whatever he can, and all of a sudden he's demanding to have sex with all us!"
"Pretty convenient, huh!"
Usagi couldn't take it anymore. All the colors of the temple overloaded her brain, and soon she was going to start having seizures and twitching. Her brain was clogged quite a lot.
Somewhere in the temple, the sacred fire was raving with its dual glowsticks.
-+-+-
Usagi broke down, whining in high pitched screaming noises that attracted huskies. Her boyfriend cheating on her was okay, but purposely overloading her small brain with colors? NO FAIR!!!
After the ordeal, Usagi had gone out clubbing. Of course, she met Setsuna there, and the two had walked out, chatting amiably about the Time Gate.
"So.next year it's my birthday!"
"Oh, WOW! I guess I'll be getting you those Orlando Bloom keychains, huh?"
"Yep. Every princess' dream. Now they're in PURPLE!!!"
"How sexy!"
However, Setsuna quickly brought her usual façade up again. She had to look mysterious. After all, how could she meet guys if she wasn't mystifying and cryptic all the time?
"Oh, by the way, my boyfriend cheated on me."
"That's okay. I will send you to the next dimension. There you will find true love. I will even give you a 'tru luv' t-shirt!"
"Gotcha! Off to all the hot guys I'll meet in the next dimension! Pluto, let's GOOOooOOooOOOoOOOOO!"
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Whoa. You have to admit, it had all the elements of a cliché story. Next chapter, I'm introducing the Gundam pilots. Obviously, in a very cliché- ish way and very.stupidly. Romance is cliché as well.
This fic is fun to write, and easy to write. So while I plan to continue "The Life and Times of Trowa Barton", I'll be able to pump out chapters of this really quickly. So many cliché things to use.
So.review if you liked it, review if you didn't like it, and have fun.