Title: HINTS REDUX
Author: illicit azure
Theme: An eighteen year old turned twelve, Time –travel, and Sakura.
Summary: In her beginning was nothing, but to survive she had to be something. In which Danzo finds potential and even the smallest of potential can be turned into something – especially for ambition. And Sakura finds herself surviving, because she had to.
Author's notes: Here you go, HINTS REDUX. Although very much like the old hints, I took the liberty of making it all orderly and less confusing.
R&R :))
What keeps me alive ties me to hell.
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She woke up in a hard mattress, no memories, nothing. She didn't know what to do, but she wanted to get up – her body felt weak, so weak of being unused for so long. –so long? It felt like it.
Gingerly she tried to move her limbs, weak tiny limbs tried to reach the floor.
Creak, Thud. Her feet met the cold floor. Trudging her arms to her sides she pushed her torso up next. She could she herself, tattered clothes, unblemished skin save for the grime that stuck at her unbathed body.
Suddenly, her body froze. Someone was approaching, her senses told her.
She turned to face the door as it opened to reveal and old man – Danzo. Danzo. Danzo. The name floated. She could only stare as he walked in alone, closing the door behind him as he entered.
"I see you are awake and well" she eyed him suspiciously as he walked slowly towards her, leaving a few feet between them. If she was possibly an enemy, he was either really stupid or didn't deem her as a threat. The last choice made her blood boil – she didn't like the feeling of being underestimated.
"welcome to Ne, child." Without anymore preamble she felt him strike her left arm with a forceful and commanding chakra. As the excruciating chakra consumed her, starting from where he struck her, down to her toes, she cursed silently to herself for underestimating his age, and the fact that she wasn't able to avoid his strike.
Sakura, her name. It was one of the few things she could remember. But she also scorned but at the same time those little things that she could remember was what kept her alive – and at the same time what kept her here, tied to hell.
Danzo, that old man (which she never dared to voice outside her mind) had taken a liking to her little knowledge.
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It was dark…
She couldn't feel any of her limbs…
Her mind felt blank, she could almost swear she had to wait until she remembered just who she was…and her mind felt oddly devoid…
She could hear footsteps, they were heading towards her.
Her mind became clearer; she could already make out 'sedatives'. She suddenly revelled at her knowledge, she supposed she knew a few things about medicine, along with the feeling of sedatives; her mind was unconsciously working her chakra to heal herself.
In a matter of seconds she had already burned most of the drug of her system, her senses becoming more defined by the moment…
…and just in time before she heard something akin to a projectile.
Without thinking, her mind urged her body to move, dodging the 'kunai' that went past her.
Her movements were awkward, the IV on her hand, long gone.
She had almost tumbled out of stiff table – she guessed, that doubled as a bed. Her limbs felt as if they didn't belong to her…her legs felt short…the way she had expected her feet to touch the ground as she instinctively moved out of harm's way…and her arms…she had tried to grab on the table as she fell, it was futile…and so she found herself sprawled on the cold floor, her left leg tucked awkwardly under her body.
She tried to move and was thinking to herself, as she heard voices, she presumed somewhere in the corner of the dim room. She still couldn't exactly pinpoint where, her senses where still murky, something like a new born deer's.
"Very good reflexes, do you think she was an infiltrator?" A very old voice.
Infiltrator…they were referring to her?
"She was found bleeding out on the woods…" A monotone
Sure enough she had lost a lot of blood, the slightly brown patches on her clothes said so much. So she was bleeding out on the woods, huh?
"She doesn't seem to have any coherent memories, I've checked it out Danzo-sama, she couldn't be a spy…her mind doesn't have any restrictions, whatsoever." An odd voice
It seemed so…she had to almost struggle to get her name out. Sakura. That was all she could remember…and then 'Danzo-sama?' Images of an old man came to mind, the name seemed familiar…
"Medic, remove the sedatives on the girl, I want her partially healed, I believe you informed me of her unconscious healing. I want to know the scope – she could prove to be useful some day." It was the same old voice; she did not like the old voice, no, not at all.
She guessed she was experiencing some kind of amnesia...she still wasn't all too sure…her body seemed to remember a few things...
The footsteps came closer…
Suddenly she could only see blinding white light. She covered her eyes with her arms, groaning as the light burned her retina.
That was the last thing she saw before she felt a surge of chakra knock her out.
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And somewhat, he took her to fulfil her potential – for his own goals.
(Sakura)
"Welcome to Ne, child."
That one sentence became the start of everything.
The first few months, these were the months that she had almost taken her own life away. She literally had to avoid thinking and being near anything – even a tiny little comb was dangerous – her mind literally made everything a suicide contraption.
Her sheets could hang her, those plates could easily slice her wrists, and even her comb would serve as makeshift knife. And god, she could remember planning out her own death a hundred times…a bed sheet tied to the bed frame, the other to her neck…down the window; or that she would yank her chains across the lake and with rocks in her pocket she'd drown; and the one she almost-almost-almost-almost –her no doubt fool-proof, favorite scenario – a chakra scalpel to the jugular.
But something always stopped her.
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Something was keeping her alive. There was something always nagging in the recesses of her mind, keeping her alive – she had to be alive and that was enough – she had to survive.
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'you have to sakura-chan…' 'sakura…please survive, ne?' 'forehead…survive, okay?' 'survive…sakura…' These voices, she wondered who were they?
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The things she could remember during her first months were blurs of pain, pity, and just a drive to live. The moment she woke up she was dragged from her room and into another and all of a sudden she had to dodge, just dodge and dodge because if she didn't she was going to bleed and die.
And so on and so forth her life consisted of fighting of one thing to live and fight another.
One minute she was in a room, another thrown back in, day in, day out.
She remembered getting used to being pulled back and forth like a little rag doll – until one day she was dragged into another…a classroom with assorted children. That was the day everything started to become a tad more, less painful, as the only description she could offer.
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The children, like her looked as ragged as she did and the gruelling silence did nothing to ease her nerves. Quietly she took a seat, near the walls, not too far from the front, not too far from the back. She played safe, sitting in the middle, seats a part from the nearest person and near a wall. Walls always gave her something akin to comfort. After all, those endless bleak, gray walls were the only things she minded. The walls took away her pain.
She mused. Walls are nice.
Suddenly, without preamble the man in front, the man she would soon call 'proctor' for the coming year spoke.
"I take it you have survived the first months – surviving means one thing, because you were good enough to." Loud. Monotone.
And then a stretching silence.
"We start with basics." He spoke once more.
And with that she began absorbing everything.
Because indeed the classroom was better than before – and that she would do everything to be good enough to survive.
She had to survive.
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The first time she had ever been scared of the classroom was two months in. She was copying everything her proctor said, "ROOT is Danzo-sama. Danzo-sama is god." She scribbled. When all of a sudden a boy was called,
"number fifty eight come forward." And a boy, with black hair came forward. He was nothing special. Nothing noteworthy, had he not been called. Sakura looked slightly up, watching the boy walk, just like the others did.
Observe. No questions were raised.
The proctor sent him away, through the door no one ever question what was for. And then screams.
Screams she knew was from the boy.
Silence.
"And that is our first example of not being good enough."
She waited that day – surely he'd come back? Maybe he was tortured?
"They do not live."
Surely they would not kill him...?
Sakura secretly counted each of her classmates the next day, and the next, and soon it was a habit.
They never became more than fifty-seven. She finds for the next few months they decreased. Sometimes they would just be missing. Sometimes, like the very first time they were called upfront, sent to 'the door' and never return.
The first, second, …seventh, she had freaked out. But soon her eyes became steel, contending.
'Not good enough' Sakura tsks, as she counts her classmates today. Thirthy-two. Someone was missing, but she didn't care, in fact had she not developed that little quirk of hers she would not notice…
She learned she did not have time to think what happened. She needed more focus. She was number five- and their numbers were dwindling. She wanted to survive – and for that she needed to be one, not number five.
A year later she finally understood why those not good enough always died. They couldn't live, not after seeing what ROOT was…
A year later the numbers had dwindled down to eight. And she was nowhere near being number one. She was always four, five – she was getting frustrated. They weren't teaching them anything useful…it was like they were letting them compete who would be the most puppet-like!
Mentally sighing, she couldn't voice anything – she would never even dare to.
Danzo-sama this, Danzo-sama that.
Always about Danzo-sama being for konoha, being hokage!
Keeping her face straight when the class – a good eight, was called in front. She was utterly scared, but she stayed calm, unblinking. Sakura held her breath. This was it.
"Come with me."
And that was all her instructor told them. She was uneasy, and scared.
It was that very door – the door no one ever returned from.
But this was different, right? They wouldn't kill everyone…?
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Walls.
There it was again, long, winding bleak walls.
It was dark, and she could hardly see what was in front of her.
Sakura glanced at her right, eyeing the remaining eight of her class, the very same people she had spent a year in those never-ending drilling of ROOT loyalty…but at the same time she didn't know them. They didn't even speak to each other…
She knew their faces, how could she not when they were already so few?
Names…they weren't relevant, in fact she thinks they didn't have names...
They all had numbers, each striving to be one all the while avoiding becoming the last number…
Eight was shaking, not literally of course…
But she knew he was terrified…
She had been too, after all she was never on top, never number one…
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"we're here."
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Sakura's heart skipped a beat.
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Right in front of them was an outline of a huge door. And their proctor pushed open the large doors, revealing…
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"Danzo-sama"
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And with instinct, they all kneeled.
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She curses that day, the day her tongue had been marked – to ensure their loyalty to ROOT no matter what. It hurt, it stung, but if it meant she was good enough to live another day she would take it.
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But it was also that day she had been brought to another room, her former classmates, each to different rooms. But she didn't care, all she wanted to know was if she was good enough…
And then a handful of medics – she instantly knew they were medics…
"Danzo-sama specified your natural inclination; your abilities are to be mednin." "You must not disappoint Danzo-sama for he had set his eyes on your ability from the very start."
Sakura could only nod.
She watched as they presented her with a dead fish. W-what…?
"Danzo-sama will not be pleased. What are you waiting for?"
And then it clicked, something was familiar…and the 'Danzo-sama will not be pleased' was enough incentive. No matter how much she hated being a puppet, being a tool, that was what she was for the moment, and like ever thing else she would take it, because someday she would be free, and she would survive for now.
"Yes" monotone, just like they taught her.
And the fish gaped. Only to die once more.
"Excellent. On the first try too."
"Thank you Danzo-sama" She kept her bow low.
She would definitely survive – because there was something she had to do.
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A/N: Edited again. I've had to reread a few things about Naruto-verse again and well, I haven't caught up to everything yet but I think I've grasp a few things (started with the time skip because I just really think I would never finish the thing from start). I think I remember some of the craziness that I call plot. Too bad really, I can't find my old notes on this thing. Anyways, I'll be tweaking a few things and correcting some mistakes here and there before adding content. I'm pretty surprised there's a bit of a following even before all the corrections. Like – wow. I'm sure I had to smack my forehead a lot when I read HINTS for the first time.
Thanks to my new friend Artemis for taking time to reread whatever old notes/plans I did find as well as telling me what to do (and in what order as well). Thanks Arty!
-Kat