Reflection
Summary: As the time draws near for Clementine to go and get Violet, Aasim and Omar back from Lilly's grasp, she first needs a moment of clarity to herself before she leads herself and her fellow friends towards 'the last day of their lives'.
Author's Note: This fan-fiction piece is a one-shot, and is based around the events of Telltale Game's The Walking Dead The Final Season- Episode 3. I was inspired to write this piece after listening to the wonderful song by Otis Redding- '(Sittin' On) The Dock Of The Bay' while I was walking to work a couple of days ago and feeling blue! I thought this song may fit Clem's mood perfectly before their siege of Lilly's ship! Anyway, I hope you all enjoy ? I just needed to write this, as I wanted to prove to myself that I can do it.
Sittin' in the mornin' sun
I'll be sittin' when the evenin' comes
Watchin' the ships roll in
Then I watch 'em roll away again
Clementine is here again, staring at the reflection looking back at her. It was the second time today she had visited the fishing shack. Her feet would often take her to the river, unbeknownst to her conscious mind. 'Who am I?' she pondered to herself, she never was too sure these days. Sometimes she needed a moment to reflect so she could remember. She needed this. Clarity, for what it was worth, reminded her of who she is. The calm was just an additional feat. Upon returning to the school with AJ once she convinced James to help them sneak onto the boat, she informed the others officially of her plan to save their friends… HER friends. They were all in agreeance to her plan, surprisingly. Their undeniable faith in her granted her the leadership title she ever so wished she was not forced to accept. But with Violet gone, she was by default required to step up and take hers and Marlon's place. 'Fucking Marlon' she thought bitterly and sighed at the sight of the grimace resting upon her face.
I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Watchin' the tide, roll away
I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time
Once she discussed her plan with her friends, she told them all that she was going out and assured them that she would not be gone for long. "Where are you going?" AJ frowned. "I am going to go and check on our fishing traps Kiddo, I will be back soon." Clementine smiled slightly, her vision already wandering to seek sanctuary in the depths of the forest before her. "But you said that it is dangerous to go anywhere alone. I am coming too!" AJ proclaimed. Clementine sighed and proceeded to kneel in front of AJ, resting her hands gently upon his shoulders. "No, you are not. Listen to me AJ, I need you here. I need you to check on Tenn for me. He needs his best friend right now." AJ glanced to one of the benches, observing a lonely Tenn's vacant expression resting upon a blank piece of paper beside his coloured pencils and looked back at Clementine. "I need you to be strong." AJ sighed and muttered, "Yeah, you're right Clem. Just please be safe? No bites." He declared folding his arms in front of his chest. Clementine lightly chuckled, proceeding to wrap her arms around AJ, her head buried into his shoulder, eyes closed, whispering, "No bites. I promise." After a minute of their shared warm embrace, AJ pulled away stating, "Me and Tenn will patrol while you are gone." Clementine nodded, "Thanks Goofball. Be safe." Clementine arose and proceeded towards the gate with a protective AJ following close behind. AJ opened the gate staring up at Clementine, brows knitted. "I will see you on the other side." Clementine reassured, adjusting the straps of her backpack while she proceeded to walk down to the river.
I left my home in Georgia
And I headed for the Frisco Bay
'Cause I've got nothin' to live for
Looks like nothin's gonna come my way, so
'I have to get them back' she scorned herself. She has to. 'Why was I not fast enough?' she questioned herself. If she were quicker, then they would not be in this mess and Violet, Aasim and Omar would not have been captured by the Raiders. A stray tear rolled down her right cheek, guilt-stricken by the pain of her inability to save everyone. 'I thought that Violet could handle herself, I did not know that she would get captured' she clarified to herself. Oh, how wrong she was. 'She is going to hate me.' She decided, letting another wanton tear trail down her grime-covered flesh. For Clementine, family was important, and the survivors of Ericson's Boarding School For Troubled Youth accepted her and AJ into their disfunctional family, despite the trouble they had caused them. Clementine could not help but wonder if she was a bad luck charm, or if was she a magnet for it? Clementine let out a soft "Ha" and grinned sadly at herself, recalling all the misfortune she has received and has caused over the years. "I have come a long way since Georgia." She said out loud to herself. She was forced to grow up and adapt to the situation at hand from the delicate age of 8. "And I have lost a lot along the way too." She frowned, placing her left hand into the water, swaying it around gently in time with the river's current in an attempt to erase the image before her. To no avail, her image remained, distorted but the same. As she watched the ripples smooth out her weary complexion, she sighed and realised long ago that only in death, she would finally be at peace. She wished Lilly had pulled the trigger, then Violet would still be here. As Tenn had depicted to her, there is something better on the other side, away from all this despair and ugliness. She had to believe, she has to.
I'm just come sittin' on the dock of the bay
Watchin' the tide roll away
I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay, wastin' time
She tried to dismiss these dark thoughts from her head. She had to live, she needed to… for AJ's sake. She had people counting on her, and death was not ready to accept her defeat yet. But she was tired, tired of fighting and shooing away her inner demons. That is why she needed to be at peace. That is why she needed to be alone. There was something about water which had always soothed her, whether it be the sound of its hopeful rush or the delightful feel of raindrops following a humid day, she felt drawn to it. Removing her blood-stained boots and her old holey socks, she gingerly put her feet in the water, feeling the water rush between her toes and tickle the calloused soles of her feet. Breathing a sigh of relief, she rested her head back onto her neck, enjoying the last rays of precious sunlight before the dark ascension of the moon. She remembered fondly the conversation she had with Brody and Violet while on their first fishing trip not too long ago about where they would like to visit on a road trip. Clementine had always wanted to ride along the coast line, she and Brody desired to experience a beach and witness the beauty the foamy brine of the sea. Poor Brody. Clementine hoped it was nice wherever she was now. Kenny also had wanted Clementine to experience the sea, certain that he would make a sailor out of her once they reached Florida. But they never did make it to Florida, and Kenny had made a promise which proved to be fatal before his untimely demise. Maybe she would have had more luck sailing a boat, maybe she would have taken to it like a duck on water. But she would never know, and she cannot think of that now. She must keep going.
Looks like nothin's gonna change
Everything seems to stay the same
I can't do what ten people tell me to do
So I guess I'll remain the same
She was younger then. Sometimes Clementine wished her naïve innocence from youth remained. But she had changed, people had changed. She grew up. But survival remained the same, and once again she was responsible for the lives of her friends. Clementine scooped some pure and cooling water up into her cupped hands and proceeded to wash away her distraught, doubtful expression and with it, her sins. While rubbing away at the stains on her cheeks, she knew that one thing was certain. She must continue to fake it in order to make it. She must remain optimistic and show confidence for her friend's sakes as well as her own. She did not know how her dearly departed friend Lee knew what the right thing to do was. She wished every day that she could see him again and feel the warmth of his words soothe her aching heart.
I'm sittin' here restin' my bones
And this loneliness won't leave me alone
This two thousand miles I roamed
Just to make this dock my home
Now I'm just sittin' on the dock of the bay
Lee. What she wouldn't do to hear the sweet song of his reassuring words right now. Clementine sighed and sadly patted her face dry with the corners of her bruised sleeves. "I miss you Lee." She admitted out loud. For the first time since she was bestowed the gift of looking after and protecting AJ, she felt alone. The songs of chirping birds and the roam of the rushing river current proved otherwise, yet she could not hear it. Although her rational mind knew that she was not alone. She was alone. Withdrawing her feet from the riverbed, Clementine laced up her boots slowly, aware that the sun was beginning to set. 'I must get home before dark.' She commanded herself. Home. Ericson's was her home now, yet she did not want to leave the fishing shack, not just yet. Clementine began to rise slowly with the aid of her cleverly crafted fishing spear. After placing her backpack upon her shoulder, she continued towards the fishing shack behind her to place the spear back in the hut for safe keeping. The fishing hut was dark, the only source of its light being the window. Clementine proceeded to draw its curtains to welcome in the ligh. Appreciating it, Clementine's vision followed the light's beams which highlighted the whittled heart containing Violet and Minerva's initials. With a sad smile, Clementine traced the etched letters. Maybe, just maybe Violet will be ok with Minerva being there. At least she is not alone, or so she thought. Clementine withdrew her hand momentarily to place a sweet platonic kiss on her fingertips to bestow upon the initials. Once her finger tips reached the heart, Clementine breathed softly in a hushed whisper, "I am going to get you back… both of you back, I promise." Her hand lingered on the etched symbols for a little longer until the last rays of sunshine dulled.
Watchin' the tide roll away
Sittin' on the dock of the bay
I'm wastin' time
Clementine exited the fishing shack once the sun began to set. There was no more time to lose, she had already wasted her precious time for selfish composure. Her greed to be alone feeding her innate guilt. Taking her last observation at the harmonious scene before her, Clementine breathed in softly and exhaled in affirmation, "To bringing everyone home, whatever it takes." Clementine began to make her way home with a few bites in her hand.