Chapter Five of Book One

Redux

"Mrs. Thursday, I've asked your daughter to marry me".

Win was about to give it up and leave. She had knocked on the door of her daughters flat more times than she had thought necessary. She wasn't really concerned, perhaps she'd had to pop out for a minute. One more time and she'd go on with her morning. After all she really didn't want anything. Just feeling a little, well if she admitted it, she was just a little lonely. Needed to have a little company this morning. Maybe share a cuppa and a catchup with Joan. It would probably make them both feel a little better.

She was just raising her fist to make one last rap on the door when it opened. The person who opened the door had the strangest look on her face. A look which was almost a kaleidoscope of shifting emotions. "Hello, Mum" in a voice that was seemingly drained of feelings. A voice that didn't invite her inside immediately as she had expected. Her motherly instincts told her that she had arrived at a moment of crisis for her daughter. "Can I come in, or is it a bad time?" That seemed to almost physically snatch her daughter from wherever her mind had been at. "Ah, certainly Mum come in"

As Joan stood to the side Win entered and as was her habit started toward the kitchen. To her mild surprise she saw that her daughter had a visitor already. And it was little more than that when she realized that it was Morse. After all he and Joan had known each other for several years. Ever since he had shown up on their doorstep to pick up her husband and drive him to work as part of his duties. No reason that they shouldn't be sharing a cup of tea on a Saturday morning.

But there was something in the air, something which she could sense. There was more to this scene than just sharing a cup of tea. She had walked in on a moment. What kind of moment she wasn't sure, but by the look on their faces her timing wasn't good. Whatever was afoot it was obvious that they would prefer to be alone.

"Good morning, Morse, so good to see you again! you're looking well". "Good morning, Mrs. Thursday" The pleasantries exchanged nobody seemed to know what to do with themselves. Thankfully, Joan broke the silence by asking her mother would she like a cup of tea. Win of course accepted, otherwise she would have no excuse for remaining, and to just turn and walk out would be rude or insulting depending on your viewpoint. Once everyone had their cup the silence returned. And if it hadn't been so ominous everyone's behavior would have been almost funny. Eyes darted back and forth between them as if expecting some parlor trick or conjuring act to happen if they turned away for too long.

Neither Joan nor Morse appeared eager to engage in any substantive conversation, both giving off signals that they were extremely uncomfortable with Win's presence. Win on the other hand was probably overcompensating by trying to pretend she didn't notice those signals.

After several minutes too long of this charade Win accepted that it wasn't going to change if she was present. She had obviously interrupted, innocently of course, something important between those two. She gave them another couple of minutes before finally giving up. "Well kids, I've got to be going. Joan, I just wanted to look in on you dear to see how you were getting along. To ask you if you wanted to go shopping." Getting no response, she bid her farewell to Morse and asked Joan to give her a ring if she got the chance. Turning to go, she walked toward the door with Joan trailing behind to see her out. Reaching the door, she and Joan exchanged a goodbye hug before leaving.

One more step and she was stopped by the commanding tone in Morse's voice. "Mrs. Thursday, a moment please." Both she and Joan turned to see Morse standing in the entrance to the kitchen. "I want to apologize for my rudeness this morning." Wondering where this was finally going, if anywhere Win could only say "that's alright son, I'm sure you two have things you wanted to discuss."

"Mrs. Thursday, I've asked your daughter to marry me."

Seldom in her adult life had Winifred Thursday been speechless, but this was one of those times. When she did recover her balance, she could only turn to Joan and say something that was completely inane "Joan, is this true?" as if Morse would have said it in front of the two women if it weren't. The response was a wan smile and a weak "yes, it is mother".

Win didn't know what to do, Morse, proposing to her daughter? How had this come about? When? And more importantly why did they look so unhappy?

"Well, I must say that I've seen happier proposals in my time". Joan let out a long sigh, and with a sweep of her arm directed her mother back toward the living room. "Morse, will you join us in here? It's more comfortable and maybe it's time we all have a little talk.".

Once everyone had taken a seat Joan looked at the others. Each of whom was waiting for someone else to break the ice.

"Morse, please hear me out before you say anything….Yes, I will marry you….but not right now." The wave of disappointment which flashed across Morse's face was almost painful to watch. He opened his mouth to say something but before he could get the words out, Joan stopped him by placing a calming hand on his knee. "Before you say anything please listen". Having taken a deep breath she began to speak in a low tone. A tone so low that it compelled her companions to pay attention to her words. "Morse, I do love you, and I want to be your wife"…." But I loved you the morning I left for Leamington"….."And you know what happened there"….."You're the only one who knows the story, or at least most of it"….."I thought I loved Ray at the time as well. Now how could I be in love with both of you?"… "I know that I love you"….. "But I need some time to let some scars heal, scars of my heart, not the physical scars."… "I hope that you can do that, I know that we can be good for each other, please."

Win's heart went out toward her daughter, but she could only think of one way to approach her. "Joanie, do you want to tell me about Leamington?"

Joan could only nod yes, she didn't feel that she could look her mother in the eye. "Mom when I left that morning, Morse tried to stop me." ..He told me I shouldn't do it. That I meant everything to you and dad." Another breath. "And he tried, really tried, to explain that he loved me. But I think I already knew that. Or maybe just suspected it." Win couldn't help but look to Morse to see what his reaction was. He also was concentrating so heavily on the pile in the carpet beneath his feet, just like Joan. "But I was too stubborn, too proud, I couldn't just turn around and walk back home."

Win wanted to go to Joan and just hold her, to make her feel good, because she could see that she was starting to struggle with her story. But before she could Joan resumed her story.

"Mom, I was living with a married man, well not really living with him, he put me up in an apartment." Looking over at Morse she said, "that's where I was when Morse found me"…, "Tried to get me to go back home"…"But I stayed, because I loved Ray, or thought I did, and"….."because I was pregnant with his child".

Joan had looked up as she had said the words. She'd expected the look of surprise that crashed across her mother's face. She waited, giving her mother the opportunity to say something, to ask "when, or why?" Any of those questions, but to her surprise she didn't, just drew herself a little straighter and pursed her lips tightly together.

"But he wasn't the first man I'd been with in Leamington. Oh no. You know what they say about preacher's daughters, maybe the same holds true for coppers daughters." "Ray was just the last." "I met him in a pub one night, and one thing led to another" She paused to look at her audience. Morse looked absolutely gone, just didn't want to here anymore. Mom was listening but had already made up her mind.

"Then Dad came and he beat Ray up….scared Ray." She couldn't look them in the face now. "And Ray told me to get out, but I had nowhere to go" she told herself she was not going to cry, not now. "So I visited Morse at his flat….Ray had just beat me up…and Morse asked me to marry him". The involuntary gasp from her mom made her want to stop but she couldn't. "But I couldn't take his pity… so I went back to Leamington….Ray and I argued and I fell down the steps…." Win could only whisper "you poor dear". "They took me to the hospital…I lost the baby…they thought Morse was the father." "When it came time to be discharged I had nowhere else to go so I came home."

Time to bring this to an end. "So that's the story". She took Morse's hand in both of hers, held it to her cheek saying, "And Morse, please know that I do love you, just give me a little more time. It will be good, I promise."

Win looked at them sitting there, side by side, still as statues. There were several things she wanted to say, to both of them, but now wasn't the time. So getting up she said. "I think this is where I came in."…. "Joan ring me when you get the chance, I will let myself out."

Reaching the door she looked back, they were still sitting there in silence, side by side, hand in hand, both looking down at the floor.