AN: I know nothing about the topic of this story so forgive me if anything is inaccurate, trigger warning pls dont read if you are easily triggered. Ladies and gents, I give you a badly written story. Enjoy.
Before I start, don't worry, this isn't some sad story, she lives. I remember the night she rang me and it was some stupid time, and I remember the anger I felt at her, knowing Chloe it was going to be something completely stupid, so when I answered "What is it now Beale? Have you seen the time!" I was stopped by the sound of sniffles down the other side. My face softened as the worry kicked in.
"Chlo..?"
"I have cancer." She choked out.
My entire world stopped, it was the first time in my life I genuinely couldn't feel anything. My best friend had cancer. Chloe had cancer. Cancer. I couldn't grasp it. I rushed out and grabbed my car keys, driving straight to hers and nothing else on my mind. Once I had pulled up I rushed to her door and knocked heavily on it. I heard shuffling inside then the door opened slowly, but I rushed through and held her in my arms tightly. She began sobbing uncontrollably, and a few stray tears fell down my cheeks too.
It was the worst night of my life.
Chemo was long. I'd always be there to drop her off and pick her up, every single time I never failed to show. I'd put on her favourite songs out of my mixes, from a playlist called Chloe. We'd sing along if she was in a good mood. It got rarer the more we went.
Chloe wasn't at school anymore but I went to her house everyday with a new idea for a mix and she would give me her thoughts and opinions, then she'd watch me make it. She said she loved watching me be completely focused with the music and in sync with it. I called her weird. I remember when I came round and everything was fine but then she suddenly started violently vomiting, and I had no idea what to do, I just watched her spill her guts out. I was in shocked, I called for her parents and then held her hair back and tried to lead her to the toilet. It was the best I could do. She told me to leave. She said she didn't want to see me.
Don't worry, she lives.
I remember the first time I realised my feelings for Chloe Beale. I watched her fall asleep on my lap after we came back from chemo. Her beautiful red hair, her beautiful blue eyes, everything. She was precious. And she was dying.
Chloe's hair had fallen out completely. I was now banned from seeing her. I wasn't allowed to drop her off and pick her up from chemotherapy under her demand. I couldn't bare it. I stormed to her house and her mother opened the door.
"I'm here to see Chloe." I demanded.
"Beca, honey, she doesn't want to see you.." her mother sympathized. I knew this would happen so I stormed passed her and walked up the stairs to her room.
There was Chloe, sitting by her window, head completely shaved and skin pale; dark black bags around her eyes and soulless.
"Chloe.."
"I thought I told you to leave me alone, Beca." She said in a quiet tone.
"Nothing could ever possibly keep me away Beale." I said sternly, shutting the door behind me and dropping myself on her floor crossed legged with my mixing equipment.
"Get out Beca."
"No"
"Get out, Beca."
"Nope"
"GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!" She screamed at me, raising herself from her bed and storming towards me. Frightened, I dropped my laptop and scrambled up.
"Get out" she said shakily then began sobbing, as she dropped to the floor, from the lack of energy she had. I rushed to her side and comforted her, repeatedly telling her I will always be there for her. She never sent me away from that day forward.
I remember when Chloe got really sick. Her seizures got worse and worse and worse. I remember the first one I ever saw, and got it was hard to watch. Chloe spent most her days in hospital now.
It's fine, she survives though.
I took her out in her wheelchair every time I got the chance, and she was having a good day. We'd go out and I'd buy her ice cream and play her some of the new mixes I had made. She laugh and smile. That beautiful smile I will always cherish. Id take pictures of it as much as I could. Chloe Beales smile could heal the world, I tell you.
Chloe couldn't go out now, she was too exhausted and the doctors thought it was unwise. I sat with her all day, even though most of the time she wasn't awake, or didn't have the energy to talk. She'd watch me, I could feel her eyes but I didn't look back, afraid she'd stopping looking. I would read to her sometimes, or I'd teach her how to mix. She wouldnt do much, but she told me it made her feel safe listening to my voice.
I remember the night when she told me she loved me, I don't know whether it's the way I wanted it to be but it was enough for me, it would always be enough. Our hearts where on our sleeves, and she was drifting off to sleep but I was sure I heard those three words escape her lips.
I decided I was going to tell her my feelings. It was time. I had put all my feelings into this original song and I was ready to show her. I went to her room and I said "Chloe, this is for you." Her eyes glazed over me as I pressed the play button on my laptop and put my headphones over her head. I sat down on the chair next to her refusing to look because I was so frightened.
After the four minutes were up, I looked at her, and she had a smile on her face with a few tears down her cheeks. I took the headphones off, then her heart monitor started beeping.
"Chloe, no, stay with me," I panicked, calling for a doctor as it lowered and lowered and lowered. She just stayed smiling at me, eyes fixed on me.
Chloe Beale died that afternoon.
Thats the thing with cancer, no matter how hard you believe she'll survive, it won't be enough to save her.
Her funeral was a couple of days later, her family had already planned it. I stayed in my room that day. My mum came up the stairs saying that Chloe had written a letter before me, that she wanted to give if the worse became true.
I opened it, and inside all it said was
"Beca, you gave me the best time of my short life and I am so thankful. But it's time you moved on now.
I will always love you,
Your Chloe."
AN: I am so sorry.