The Doctor smiled at the Adipose that was waddling towards him. They were such adorable creatures, even when they tried to look angry. It was amazing to him how human fat could sustain life in such a tiny form.
While he was busy thinking about the Adipose, it had come up to him. It planted itself in his lap and demanded he tell it a story. The Doctor thought back to all of the amazing adventures he'd had….Rose, Rickey, Jackie, Captain Jack Harkness, Martha, Donna…where to begin? He decided to focus on an aspect of his favorite companion: Rose. So he started to tell the blob of fat sitting on his lap the story of Rose, the pink and yellow human whose handwriting was too damn big.
But perhaps her neat handwriting was not her fault, so maybe she should only be prejudiced as pink and yellow. Then again, he did hate huge handwriting, and he thought small writing was neater than that huge girly nonsense. But didn't Rose make up for her girly handwriting? Maybe, but she would be more appealing if she wrote in a reasonable size.
But did her handwriting really define her? He decided it did. Through handwriting, skilled analysts could determine everything about someone's life, from their job to their mother's name. That would make Rose's handwriting unique, and it should therefore be celebrated. But it was less unique than other handwriting since millions of other girls had handwriting just like it.
Well then how could the handwriting of Rose determine her life if it was the same as everyone else's? It was slightly different, but to him, all girly handwriting signified idiocy. But Rose Tyler was amazing. Surely her handwriting reflected that?
No. Because inside, the part of her where her writing originated, was contaminated with the slime of the Earth. But she was human. No human's writing could compare to that of a time lord. But he was purifying her, and some humans had reasonable handwriting. So what? Rose was amazing. But she could have been more amazing if her writing was smaller.
Rose could never be more amazing. To the Doctor, she was everything. He loved her for her faults, not in spite of them. Therefore her handwriting could not be more amazing than that.
The Doctor agreed with himself, but he did hate the handwriting of a different human he once met. That human's name was Molly, and her writing was terrible. At least Molly got to meet him and fulfill her dream.
With these roiling thoughts, coming to him as if from two different, squabbling humans, he accidently scratched his nails on the Adipose's back, causing it to squeal in pain and run away. He didn't care, though, because he hated Molly and wanted to burn her in fire. In fact, he pushed Sherlock off a tall building in front of her because he wanted to make her sad.
The Adipose stopped and turned around. "Well fuck you!" it yelled back towards the Doctor. And it left without its story.
A/N: Who won? I was against the girly handwriting and my friend was trying to defend it.