"Levi! Above!"
The shout is enough to take him out of the half-trance he'd been in, swinging through buildings without much effort. He'd been in a daze, stunned by the fact that this—this—is the horrifyingly difficult 3D training everyone's been talking about.
This—this is no harder than breathing. This is life, soaring around the rooftops. There's a fierce wild joy in knowing he's no longer earthbound, no longer subject to the restrictions of the rest of the humans herded in like cattle, that his boots aren't wading through the filth of humanity anymore.
This is freedom.
The shout jolts him from the moment, and Levi looks up just in time to see Gunter spiraling down, shooting a torrent of gas from one of his cannisters.
Levi curses, enough that Gunter's eyes go wide, and detaches his wire to go into free fall. That idiot, making me fall—I could kill him, it would be easy—
His train of thought crashes into a swift end when he feels a huge blunt weight sideswipe him, and then they're both careening through the air, him and Irvin both.
Trapped—caught—
His mind goes blank, and he thrashes, getting a foot up to Irvin's shoulder (only to tangle in one of the wires) before the man catches him with an arm like steel, a burst of gas carrying them to a rooftop. "Easy," his commander says, and it sounds more like an order than a gentle word. They're still tangled, Levi's boot snarled in one wire, his belt strap caught on Irvin's own 3D gear. He starts to move, and Irvin shuts him down with a look.
Quietly, filled to the brim with unhappy tension, Levi holds still while Irvin systematically disconnects parts and straps, reconnecting them once they're free. "You forgot to watch below you."
"That fucking piece of shit cumbubble was falling on—"
"That trainee is your comrade," Irvin says, and the harshness of his voice cuts through the self-righteous anger burbling up inside him.
Levi hates feeling stupid. He hates feeling weak, and after crashing into his superior officer, he feels both. "He'd never have lasted with the Ring of Havoc. They'd have torn a piece of—"
Irvin's hand connects with the side of his face—not hard, not as hard as anyone had hit each other in the Ring. Just enough to remind him to shut his mouth if he wants the second chance he's been promised.
I could kill him. I could kill all of them. I'd be away from here before anyone could stop me.
There's nowhere to go, and Levi knows it. Oh, he could go back to the Ring, he could probably claw and slice his way back to the top where he'd been before, but it wouldn't be the same.
He's not the same, after meeting Irvin.
The wind is chill against the shaved part of his head, but Irvin's hand is warm against his cheek, cupping now instead of slapping. The man's broad face is kind, but firm. "You have to forget about that now," he says, and Levi hears a strangled protest come out of his own mouth when Irvin moves to step away. "When you wear that uniform, there's nothing but the men you serve. There's nothing for them but serving you and humanity. You find that fire within, and you'll be a great man someday."
Levi doesn't believe it. A great murderer, sure. He can kill titans. He's never seen one up close, but Irvin says they have a weak spot, and he's trained all of them to hit it.
If it bleeds, he can kill it. That's never not been true. So he'll kill titans, and probably be the best at it. He's the best at pretty much everything he tries. "All I have to do is kill as many dickless fatties as I can and I'm a hero, right?"
Irvin laughs. It startles Levi at first, hearing the sound come out so...rusty. Genuine. There's a hint of cruelty to it, and that makes Irvin feel like home. "That's right, kid. Just try to do it without bringing everyone else down with you."
"Try?" Irvin hasn't been big on try before. He's kind of a yes or no guy, as far as Levi's been able to tell.
"Yeah. Try." The laughter dies from Irvin's eyes, and he sets his hands to Levi's shoulders. Each of them is easily the size of his head, could crush him if he moved, but Levi doesn't feel intimidated. "You kill titans. You follow orders. You cut your hair. You survive." His mouth twitches in a smile, but there's little mirth in it. "You try not to bring people down with you. You try not to care."
"You fucking suck at it."
"Yeah."
"Fucking gross old man, you're being sappy."
"Yeah. Deal with it, Trainee."
"Don't fucking wanna."
"I didn't ask you what you wanted."
"Yeah, you did. You asked me if I wanted to live or die."
"No." Irvin turns, and his eyes aren't quite present as he scans the skyline, watching trees fade into walls. "I asked you if you wanted to die as a slave or a soldier."
"Oh, stop feeling fucking guilty about it," Levi grouses, and flops down on the top of the building, legs splayed out in front of him. "There, you have permission not to feel guilty."
"It doesn't work like that."
"Know what we used to do?" Levi asks, looking up at Irvin from his position on the ground. "We used to picture each other dead. Brains splattered all over the ground, choking on our own puke and pus and shitting our pants."
"Uh—"
"We'd talk about it all the time." When there had been a we. Irvin doesn't need to tell him about not getting attached. "We'd take bets on it. The grown-ups always bet on how we'd die on the risky missions. That's why they liked sending the kids." He laughs, leaning back on his hands. "If our heads got blown off, they'd go farther."
"Levi, stop."
"You should recruit more kids from down there," Levi continues, unfazed. "We're all ready to die after years of that shit. You'd—"
He sees Irvin's hand fly back, and shuts his mouth before the slap can fall, this time. He looks up, browns drawn tight, confused and angry that he's being shut down again. "Why? Why don't you like hearing about it? You're the one who's getting all pissy about my death before I even fucking died."
There's a long, warm silence, and a gentle Northern wind brings the smells of the South with it. Levi hasn't heard a thing about what's out there, and he's never cared, but all the air from that way smells better.
"I don't have any use for those with no hope," Irvin says finally, interlocking his hands behind his back. "Being prepared for death is one thing. Seeking it is another. So many people give up their lives fighting these beasts-I'm not training missiles. I want you to come back."
He sounds a bit forlorn, and Levi sighs, kicking his legs into the air and hopping up onto his feet without using his arms. Without warning, he slides an arm forward around Irvin's waist, surprising them both. "Don't be stupid," he mutters, face buried in the small of the Commander's broad back. "I'll kill any cocksucker that tries to make me die before you. I swore you that."
"Not in such colorful terms," Irvin says, the smile back in his voice, "but yes." He pats Levi's hand slowly, letting his own rest over it. "I'll hold you to that."
"Fuck you, I never go back on a promise.""You will."
Irvin's voice is turning sad, and Levi can't have that. He reaches up and yanks out one of his Commander's hairs, making him grunt. He pockets the hair, ignoring the weird look Irvin turns on him. "Why did you do that?"
"Felt like it."
"Oi—"
"I feel like surviving too, I guess." Levi lets go, and starts putting on his gear again. "I'm pretty sure it's against those regulations you like to leave this shit on the ground. I'm a fucking shitty-ass soldier, I guess."
Irvin watches him, an unreadable look on his face. "No. Just a trainee."
"Not for long. Then we'll go kill dickless fatties together, yeah?"
"Yeah, kid. We can do that."
"No try."
"No try."
Because I want to.
Not because Irvin saved him. Not because of humanity. Not because there's nothing else waiting for him.
Because he wants to stand on a building with Irvin again soon, and prove everyone wrong who bets against them.