Beth6787
4 January y
Parallel Paths
A sequel to 'Home'. Kathryn Janeway has an enlightening conversation with the Founder Odo & some choices to make...
0253 hours.
Here she was again, lucky to get a couple of hours sleep a night. It had been a long day : just the latest of many. Nine months into their mission to the Gamma Quadrant and negotiations were still in full swing. If she had thought the Vulcans were sticklers for detail, pouring over the minutiae of every phrase in the Treaty : they had nothing on the Vorta. Of course, the major burden of this mission lay squarely in the lap of her former First Officer, now Captain, Chakotay. Apparently he had been of considerable assistance to Ambassador Telak and rumour had it that he would be encouraged to accept further diplomatic missions. She, on the other hand, had been relegated to a relatively minor role - at least as far as diplomacy was concerned. As Captain of the security escort vessel, the U.S.S. Curiosity, her role was to ensure that no trouble flared between Starfleet Security and the Founders' J'em'Hadar .
Come on Kathryn she mentally pinched herself. If any role was challenging, then her's was it! The tension was palpable and there had been several arguments that she had diffused just before they broke into all out resumption of hostilities. It would only take one trigger happy officer (let's face it, on either side) and all the hard won diplomatic concessions and ,ultimately, the very fragile post war peace for everything to be lost. To descend back into open warfare and chaos. It was this state of affairs that had brought her into the orbit of a particular Founder, Odo. He had been Chief Constable for the Bajoran police force on Deep Space 9 for seven years and an 'impartial' security officer during the periods of Cardassian occupation of the Bajoran sector prior to that. So his security expertise, as well as his familiarity with Alpha Quadrant 'solid' lifeforms, made him the perfect liaison.
Kathryn had immediately warmed to him, which had somewhat surprised her. She had heard through the grapevine that he was cold, efficient, almost Vulcan in his singleminded pursuit of order and justice. A black and white being with little understanding of the many shades of grey that held a vastly disparate collection of worlds - such as that of the United Federation of Planets - together. It was well known that the Founders imposed order through draconian measures and the threat of deadly force in the form of their foot soldiers for any planet that contained sentient life forms that came within their sphere of influence. The Jem'Hadar of the GQ had a lot in common with the Borg of the DQ she had to concede. Probably why Nechayev had seen fit to assign her this mission!
It was no good, her mind was whirling at a hundred miles an hour. She was not going to sleep any longer tonight. May as well replicate a decent coffee if she was going to sit here for the next three hours staring at the bulkheads. Coffee in hand, Kathryn curled up on the sofa with a warm blanket and let her mind mull over last night's meeting with Odo...
—
They had finished the official business by 2100 hours and he really should have beamed back to the Vorta vessel to return to his gelatinous state for a few hours. It was taking considerable energy to maintain his humanoid form, having not rested for over forty Earth hours. But he felt that he needed to get to know his counterpart a little better. Actually, truth be told, he wanted to. She reminded him of Nerys in so many ways. Her feisty and determined nature, her stubbornness and insistence on having the last word... There were even physical similarities : in size; that auburn hair that caught the light and seared through the greyness of never ending diplomacy; her innate isolation. Loneliness on a profound level. He recognised it in others because he knew it so well. A little companionship, from one who understood, may make that burden a little lighter for them both.
"So Captain Janeway, how are you finding your first mission to the Gamma Quadrant?" he opened with, having persuaded her to join him for dinner. She needed to eat, even if he did not, and she looked noticeably slighter than when she had first arrived here nine months ago.
Kathryn smiled half heartedly at him and shuffled her food around her plate before giving up and sipping her hundredth coffee of the day instead. " Honestly?"
He just inclined his head a little "I'm not one for platitudes Captain."
At that Kathryn gave him one of her genuine smiles. "Me neither, Constable. Please, we are off duty now, feel free to call me Kathryn."
"Likewise, Odo will more than suffice. but you haven't answered my question...?"
There was no pulling the wool over the eyes of this man, it dawned on her. There was something in his eyes that told her he was not merely asking about her Starfleet assigned task. She put her coffee down and looked at him earnestly. "It's tiring. Draining. Remorseless. Diffusing one petty squabble after another. Feeling as though I am going around in circles, achieving nothing of note."
"Does he know ..?"
She was taken aback. And not entirely sure what they were talking about. On the surface, her Starfleet assignment but...Odo was sitting back, cross legged in his chair, nursing a cup of Bajoran Falla Tea in his hands. Something in his eyes caused her to pause...
"There is nothing worse than working in close proximity, day after day, year after year...and always being on the outside...looking in through an impermeable barrier ...is there?" Odo held her gaze.
Suddenly she knew. He understood. Those rumours about his relationship with Major, now Colonel Kira, had not done him justice. He was as capable of feeling...everything...as she. "No. And the worst of it is that I had thought everything was resolved. Once we were back home and not in a direct line of command, we would be free. Free of all those protocols, all those internal barriers..."
"Instead, it is worse. Far worse, isn't it?" He stood and took their cups to refill. Turning away from her. Giving her that refuge from scrutiny to allow her to say the unsayable.
" We barely speak at all these days. Except in an official capacity, regarding matters of security for the mission. In fact, you have taken the brunt of that task from me these last few weeks. ..." she raised an eyebrow at him as it occurred to her that may well be more than a natural evolution of events. " There is no real need..." she corrected herself when she saw Odo was about to interject "no official need. We are both commanding our own starships. With different agendas and responsibilities. I am not needed for the diplomatic negotiations themselves and he outranks me this mission..." she was damned if she was going to admit to the Admiralty's decision to have her 'mentored' though she would not be surprised if Odo how somehow discovered it. He was known to be exceptionally resourceful and he took his role as Head of Security very seriously indeed.
"And that has to hurt. Having been his commanding officer for seven years ...out there...with no one to answer to but your own conscience." He was staring intently at her now. "I know. I was in love for many years with my immediate superior officer. No doubt you have heard the story..."
She nodded "Major Kira of the Bajoran Militia." It was not a question.
"Yes and no. That was her rank and her...function. But it was Nerys that I loved. The girl who had grown up in the refugee camps. Torn away from her family who were all ultimately slain by the Cardassians. And yet, having endured all that, she had a profound wisdom and ability to love...Does that sound like someone you know?"
"Once. It seems that I have lost him to this..." she pulled at her jacket ..."uniform." She looked at Odo apologetically. "Sorry, I don't seem to have much of an appetite" as she got up to recycle her utensils. "Another drink?"
Odo nodded "Another Bajoran Tea. I recommend you try it. Quite invigorating and good for clearing the head. Nerys always told me so. She used to drink it after an Orb experience. When she needed to contemplate..."
"Two Falla teas coming up. Extra strong brew!" she winked at him "Something tells me we are going to need these by the time the evening is up."
Odo stood. "Come. Let's finish up in my office. There are a few PADDs I need you to peruse." This for the benefit of the Curiosity security detail who had just come off duty and walked into the replomat.
"Good evening Captain. Constable." This from Lieutenant Gregson.
She nodded at him and his team. "Have a good evening gentlemen. Excuse us. Duty calls." And with that she and Odo headed out.
—
Once ensconced in Odo's temporary office aboard the Vorta escort ship she decided to risk it. Really get to know him. Open up. Perhaps his experiences with Kira - which so mirrored her's with Chakotay - would help provide her with clarity.
"It's not that I cannot take orders from Chakotay. Actually, in a round about way, I have often done so in the past. When we were...out there. We were a command team, with only each other to rely on. We often had differing viewpoints, solutions to a problem. No doubt borne of our very different experiences prior to ending up flung together seventy years from home at maximum warp. After much heated debate." She half smiled, ruefully as the memories came alive in her mind " we would reach a consensus. His opinion, his choices often won out. No one witnessed our exchanges in the Ready Room - of course - and the logs were always appropriately entered to give me the final say. But, without him, we never would have made it home at all. There would have been no one left alive for Admiral Janeway to come to the rescue of..."
"Yet now, it's different, isn't it?"
She looked up at him as she stirred her tea. "There is no us. No pulling together as a team. He briefs me, along with my First Officer, Commander Solok. Then Solok and I go through the motions..."
"You are both far more alone now - out here with all the official barriers taken down - than you ever were on Voyager." Odo probed. It was a statement of fact and they both knew it. "Perhaps that is because of what had continued rather than what has changed..." he prompted.
She looked confused, exhausted. Even the Falla tea could only do so much. He would spell it out to her. He had recently had the same conversation with himself and he knew what lay ahead now for him. There was so little time... "Kathryn. You are both still wearing that uniform, hour after hour, day after day...Had I stayed on Deep Space 9 the same would have become true for me. You will have heard that I made the decision to return to the Founders - permanently - after the War ended?"
Kathryn nodded her ascent.
"Of course, it was necessary in the short term. To stabilise the situation, prevent the war flaring up again. After all the female Founder was to remain in the AQ to answer charges of genocide. That would not sit well with my people. I HAD to share my experiences of humans, Bajorans...all solids...with them. Make them understand through their linking with me. Experience what I had..." he paused and his face seemed to shimmer for a moment, as though his life force was draining away. With a profound effort he re-solidified " But I could have left the door open to return. Nerys initially begged me to. Oh, she accepted my decision. Put a brave face on and even accompanied me back to the Link to say our final goodbyes. If anyone could adapt to loss it was her. Do I have to stay here indefinitely? No. Off the record Kathryn, the Founders have as much interest in this Treaty succeeding as your people do. This War has cost us all dearly and they have a deep understanding of your species now. All of them, through me. The agreement will be signed imminently and this particular task will be over. For both of us."
She had been about to speak then something in his expression stopped her. For a being with only simulated eyes, his held a breadth of expression and depth of soul she had seldom seen in another living being. Something beyond human. Something better...
Odo was speaking again, barely above a whisper. It did not matter, her heart heard and understood every word. " I told her I would stay here, permanently rejoin my people because of that uniform and what it stood for. It stood for everything that separated us. The Colonel and the Constable. She was about to assume the mantel of Sisko, Commander of Deep Space 9, defender of the Bajoran people. The Cardassians, the Dominion...there would always be another enemy, another battle. Another cause to keep us apart... in the end it comes down to simply this...It's either the uniform - or us." He paused, wanting this auburn haired heroine to understand. Looking back at her, with barely more than a whisper said his last on the subject "Nerys knows where I am. Waiting. If she ever changes her mind."
With that Odo rose. "You'll have to excuse me. I really need to return to my natural state now."
"Of course, and Odo. I do understand. Thank you for the Falla Tea, it's reputation is well deserved." With that Kathryn briefly patted him on the shoulder before beaming back to the Curiosity.
—-
So, here she was. 0510 hours and sitting alone, in her cramped quarters on the Curiosity. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. Yup, still wearing that titanium plated armour of the Starfleet Captain. And, more importantly, so was Chakotay. The man she still loved. How long before he became another ghost from her past. Replaced by Captain Chakotay...permanently. Was she destined to wait - perhaps forever - like Odo for the other to make the choice? Well she had never been one to shirk responsibility. To evade the tough calls. The choice was hers.
She opened the closet and found the dress she was looking for. A blue one she had worn many years ago in another place...tending her tomato plants whilst he made plans for their next adventure. Just the two of them. Slowly she discarded her Captain's uniform and then recycled it. She would have no further need for it. Ever.
She looked back at herself in the mirror and saw the real Kathryn looking back at her the first time in many, many years.
0550 hours. Time to wake him up in more ways than one. "Computer priority site-to-site transport. Security override. Captain's quarters, U.S.S. Contemplation."
With that her old life shimmered away.
THE END
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