Warning: This is just random ideas that popped in my head. I know nothing about mental disorder (and I don't even want to know. I'm not that helpful person in that situation LOL)

Elsword's POV

"If you had one wish from Lady El, what would it be?"

"Death."

The girl next to me sighs. "You need to get life motivation, you know? You can be useful to someone else."

"Two kidneys exists for a reason, so you can sell both of them and die," I reply as I look at her. She doesn't look happy at all. "Should I do it to be useful?"

"No, Els," she looks straight into my eyes, "When are you going to tell me your problems? I'm ready to hear everything, you know."

I force myself to smile, "Some things better left as mysteries, Aisha."

"Stop making me curious!" she shouts at me and slams the table. I'm sure that was loud enough to create quiet atmosphere all of a sudden. As I look around, I realize everyone is looking at us.

I chuckle, "This would be another memorable moment at school canteen."

"Shut up."

We're not saying anything until the atmosphere comes back to normal. The girl, Aisha, gives me a concerned look. "You don't have to put those fake smile every time, Els."

Hahah... I think she knows me better than myself.

"You're not hungry?" she asks as she opens her lunch box, "I'm going to eat, if you don't mind."

"Go on. I'll eat later," I say to her. It's not that I'm not hungry.

I don't have money.

Someone comes from the back and pats our shoulder. "Are you two officially a couple now?"

Ah, this voice.

"Hey, Ara," I greet her.

The girl that just came, Ara, smiles at us. "What do you want?" Aisha asks as she narrows her eyes.

"I just want to meet you guys!" she shouts with a frown, but then it turns into a grin, "or you want some time alone?"

That doesn't make any sense to me. "How can 2 people be alone in a crowd? Explain."

Two other people come. A blonde boy named Chung and a white haired Nasod named Eve. "Hey! I heard a rumor about our homeroom teacher!" Chung shouts.

"According to my analysis, the rumor is 79.34% accurate," Eve continues.

"Cool!" Aisha turns around to face them. She's always excited with this kind of thing. "Tell me!"

"People said his Nasod arm is not just for arm replacement. It can actually do something like explosion!" Chung shouts with sparkling eyes.

Our homeroom teacher is a bit weird. His left arm is a Nasod arm, but no one knows what actually happened to his arm.

After a long day of school, it finally ends. Four of us usually walk home together. It's always good until we part ways.

I don't like being alone. I'm not saying I like being with people, it's just...

"Hey, chop us off already!"

That voice again! I'm not sure if I'm imagining things, but my hands always feel numb when I hear it. They're resisting to be one with my body.

"You kill people with your own hands! You're using us!"

"It... It was an accident..."

"You made us your murder weapon!"

"Okay, it's my fault! I'm sorry!"

"Hey, how about the other people who lost their loved ones? They didn't deserve death! It should be you!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Elsword!"

Someone holds my shoulders and looks at me in the eyes.

"Aisha? Why are you here?"

"Because there's something wrong with you!" she shouts, "You never told me, but I know you're suffering!"

I don't know what to say to her. I'm just here, listening to her.

"Let's go to your home. You need to tell me everything," she says as she grabs my hand.

We arrive at my house. No one's here, actually. It's just me.

"Where's your family?" Aisha asks.

I'm a bit happy to know that someone actually cares of me, but... it's annoying at the same time. I just want to be alone.

"Mom and sis have a job at Hamel," I mutter. Hamel is the best spot to get a job with high salary, but the things there are far more expensive than here.

"What about your dad?" she asks again.

Dad...

She shakes her head. "I think I get the point. Sorry for bringing that up."

"It's fine."

Sometimes I wonder...

It should be easier for my mom and sis to live if I'm gone, right? They don't have to work hard for me.

Right...?

I don't have anything to live for anyway. I'm worthless and I hate myself.

"I just want you to know that you can call me anytime if you need someone to talk to," Aisha says as she smiles at me, "By the way, can I use your ingredients? I can cook for you."

...

Why would I talk about something that I'm not even sure if it's right? Does anything matter anymore? I...

I just want to die. I'm sure everything will be better without me.

HAH whatever

I'm thinking if it's better to post all of these (it's completed already) rather than just wasting memory in my PC

Thanks for reading *claps*