The doctor's scowl was deeper than usual, which, in this particular regeneration was saying a lot. He was not happy that the TARDIS was keeping the current location a secret from him. Navigation was down, and no amount of smacking the screen, or shaking his fist at the console was going to change it.
Something felt different. He was incredibly apprehensive about what lay beyond those double doors. His feet had somehow turned to lead. The Doctor did not want to face this mystery. Of course, in the end, it was the mystery of why he didn't want to face the mystery that got his feet moving. His long fingers touched the cold handle of the door. A shiver ran through his thin frame. He threw the doors open and stepped into the unknown.
A vast room full of hushed voices smacked the Doctor in the face. His hearts beat wildly at the site of a place he had hoped never to return to. Not even in a thousand years. The Library.
A thousand years had done the place wonders. Minus the Vashta Nerada, it was once again a thriving and functional institution. At least, that was how most people now saw it. For the Doctor, it was and always would be, a tomb.
Her tomb.
River Song. The centuries apart had softened his grief, for the most part, but this place was dredging up all of the old guilt, sorrow and anger he had tried so hard to shove down into the depths of his being. His wife was a wild and adventurous memory.
The Doctor was about to turn on his heels and walk back into the TARDIS. She'd certainly get a piece of his mind. Not that it would do either of them much good. It never did.
"Salutations fellow readers," a disembodied voice echoed across the hall, "Today is a great day."
The Doctor clasped his hands behind his back and spun toward the TARDIS. This was most certainly not a great day, not for one ancient old man and his immense plague of remembrances.
The announcement continued behind him. "The Head Librarian is pleased to welcome you to the event of the century. This is the day that we contact the Library's savor and ask if she would like to step back into the light of living. On this day, once every one hundred years, we invite her to be actualized again. It has always been her choice. Perhaps this day, with some enthusiastic encouragement from all of you, Professor River Song will return to us!"
The Doctor missed a step. His hand slapped the blue box, stinging the flesh of his palm and saving him from a further tumble. He froze there a moment with his eyes squeezed shut, trying to will himself to start breathing again. The rest of the Library erupted in a cheer that was no doubt only allowed once a century.
The Doctor's mind went reeling back in time.
The Vashta Nerada, 4,022 people saved, Charlotte. A blinding white light, and Donna.
Donna Noble. She had told him everything about her experience within CAL's hard drive, hadn't she? Of course she had, her mouth rarely stopped moving. Donna told him about the man, and her children, and the woman in black.
Miss Evangelista.
Miss Evangelista had told Donna something. Something very important. Something very important that the Doctor was missing. What was it? Something about... Actualizing.
The Doctor's eyes popped open with realization. Behind him, at the Library's main desk, the process of contacting River was already starting.
Donna's voice echoed in his mind as she repeated the words that Miss Evangelista had spoken to her in the virtual reality park.
"Your physical self is stored in the Library as an energy signature. It can be actualized again whenever you, or the Library requires."
He staggered back against the TARDIS as the full force of his realization hit him like a solar wind storm. He buried his hands in his face, ashamed that it had taken him so long to figure it all out. So much pain and sorrow could have been avoided if he hadn't blocked all of this precious information. What kind of monster was he, that he could so easily let the woman he had made his wife live as a stream of data on the biggest hard drive in the universe for so long?
Or course, they had said that she was given a choice every one hundred years to come back. Every time she had refused. Why, he wondered. They had said their goodbye's at Trenzalor. Perhaps she was finally done with him. Perhaps she was happy right where she was at.
His knees were about to buckle beneath him when the disembodied voice spoke again over the intercom system.
"And there she is! Please join all of us here at the Library in welcoming Professor River Song!" A rumble of applause sent a vibration through the floor.
The Doctor dared to sneak a peak from between his fingers. Above the main desk, on a large projected computer screen, was the beautiful face of River Song. His River. Amazing hair and all. She smiled at the group before her. The Doctor tried to force moisture back into his mouth. His hands fell away from his face and he stood up straight. His feet seemed to move of their own free will. He shuffled through the crowd, toward the main desk. His eyes never left the image of his wife.
"Hello," River greeted the crowd. Her voice, that smooth, sexy, deep voice still sent shivers through the old Time Lord.
"Professor Song," the Head Librarian said, stepping up to the desk. "It is that time again."
"Is it," River asked with a warm smile. It may have appeared warm to everyone else, but the Doctor saw something else there. After all this time, he could still tell when River was holding something back. "Time is so different here," she added.
"Will you allow us to download you back into the flesh," the Head Librarian asked.
River looked around the room.
"Thank you all for coming today. I appreciate your support. However," she said, "I'm in the middle of a project here that requires my immediate attention. Teenagers, you know? Quite the work they are, and I've been blessed with three of them." She laughed at her little joke and so did everyone else in the room.
"So then, you are happy in your world, Professor?"
River paused as she looked down at all the faces before her.
"Yes," she said simply.
Lie number two, the Doctor thought to himself. He was standing a few people back from the main desk now. Why was she lying? What was she up to in there, he wondered.
"Thank you for your time, Professor," the Head Librarian said sincerely. "Shall we contact you in the future?"
"Please do, I so enjoying seeing all of your lovely face-" River stopped before finishing her thought. She was staring down, directly at the Doctor. Everyone fell silent. The people standing near the Time Lord, followed River's eye line and stepped away from him, creating a space. He stood alone under her scowling gaze.
"You," she whispered. He looked up at her, holding her stare. Absolutely unable to look away.
"And what kind of time do you call this," she asked suddenly. Her face softened and the corners of her mouth turned up in a smirk. The Doctor couldn't help his own lips forming an embarrassed smile. Everyone was staring at him. He held up his hand and made a tiny space between his index finger and his thumb.
"Just a wee bit late, as usual, dear."
A short time later, the Doctor and his Professor River Song stood across a small expanse, and smiled at one another as she materialized back into the world.
Now, perhaps, he could find out what she had been so worried about within CAL's hard drive. Teenagers, it most certainly was not.