Disclaimer: Do not own anything
Summary: "We are not naming our son Ozulai!" Katara and Ty Lee have a certain problem with what Azula is planning to name their possible future adopted son.
Author's Note:
Warning people: Azula is going to be incredibly OOC in this story, just thought I should let you know that in advance.
Names are a serious business:
"We are not naming our son Ozulai!" The Water Tribe woman hissed, disturbed at the very thought of it. The Fire Nation princess didn't respond, only watched as Katara fumed. Azula had suspected that her lover would react this way. Though she would never say it, Azula knew Katara well enough to say to herself at least that the waterbender was fairly predictable. "You don't approve." Azula answered in a calm, but confident voice, stating the obvious, "Ozai's my father. He raised me. He taught me everything I know."
"Oh yes," Katara growled, storming back and forth in Azula's bedchambers, refusing to meet her lover's golden eyes, "And he's just a model example of what a father is supposed to be, isn't he?" The waterbender stopped pacing and faced the firebender, voice becoming calmer and more reasonable, "Azula, he's the reason why you had a mental breakdown five years ago. He's the reason why you thought you had to be perfect every single second till finally your mind snapped. He scarred and exiled Zuko just for having a different opinion when your brother was only thirteen. Him and Ursa...…they're the reasons why you became so paranoid and thought you didn't deserve love. How could you want to name our son after one of them?"
Katara stopped ranting and said in a pained but passionate voice, "And he didn't teach you everything you know. My dad, Gran-Gran, Sokka, Aang, Suki, Ty Lee, Toph...me....are you going to tell me we didn't have anything to do with how you've turned out?"
Katara observed Azula and took note of the firebender's lower jaw clenching at the accusations being made about the former Fire Lord, and the fire in the younger woman's eyes sparked immediately, but the rest of the fire wielder's face was neutral. Katara was guessing the steady expression was not without difficulty on her lover's part.
"I'm not saying that you didn't," Azula digressed, "You did and I acknowledge that. But Fire Lord Ozai did what he thought was best." Azula's voice was becoming harsh and Katara knew she had crossed a line, "Ozai is…..was a great man. I know what he is now….I'm not gullible enough to think that he ever should have been a father, but I can recognize him at least for the leader he was. Besides, I said 'Ozulai,' not 'Ozai,' I mean to name him after my grandfather Fire Lord Azulon too."
"Oh that makes it so much better," the waterbender spat, feeling her blood nearly boil, "Azulon…..Ozai….they made you into a weapon, Azula. They brainwashed you. Spirits, Azula, don't you remember what you were like after the Agni Kai?" Katara almost flinched when she said that. She knew she was going into dark territory that would make Azula revisit things honestly nobody should revisit.
"I'm sorry." Katara mumbled, knowing she had just made a grave mistake.
"Obviously," Azula sneered, this time showing the fiery rage that she had suppressed for so long in her golden orbs, "You need to go vent your anger somewhere else. I know what I'm doing. If you really don't want to name our son 'Ozulai' then so be it. I can accept and respect that. But don't pick at old wounds because you're too disgusted by my father and grandfather. When you learn to show some manners about the subject, then I'll come and speak with you again."
The firebender turned and exited, leaving a forlorn Katara in her wake. "Zula," Katara mumbled out, glaring away from the door where the firebender had walked out of, "Wait. I'm sorry…"
There was the sound of movement outside the door and Katara looked up, hoping to see Azula coming back in, but it was Ty Lee. The brunette blinked, wide grey eyes fixed on Katara as the waterbender pressed her fingertips to her head, rubbing her temples.
"Just saw Zula go by," Ty Lee mumbled, grey eyes concerned, "She…..she didn't look very happy."
Katara gave a dry laugh, "Does she ever?" she heard a small giggle from Azula's other lover. It was an odd arrangement that the three of them had, but Katara was very happy that it had happened. She saw how happy Ty Lee made Azula. She knew that she made her girlfriend happy, but Ty Lee seemed to even them both out.
She glanced at the other brunette. Ty Lee was many things, and one of them was honest. They both were honest about their lover. Though nearly five years had passed, their lover was still just as rough and unpredictable as when Katara first fought her at Omashu with Aang and her brother. The only difference was she was more open-minded and loved the people of the Earth Kingdom and the Water Tribes. They had been her family now for years.
The princess's mentality was a lot better too. She still heard the voices, still saw people who weren't really there, but at least there was some stability. She could bear hearing the voices just as long as people gave the princess her space. Katara had to smile to herself. She honestly was so grateful for her father. Hakoda had been understanding and caring when it came to Azula. In all of her harshness and rage, Azula seemed to have found a fatherly figure. Hakoda was a mentor to the firebender, one that never hurt her or betrayed her confidence. Katara imagined that the respect Azula gave the Water Tribe chief was unlike any other kind of respect she had given anyone else. Certainly not the godlike status that Azula once believed Ozai had. Azula saw Hakoda as a person and loved and respected him as a person, as he did her.
Deciding to fill Ty Lee in on what just happened, Katara breathed out solemnly, "Ty…..Azula wants to name our adopted son after both Ozai and the old Fire Lord Azulon. She says 'Ozulai' will be a fine name."
The Water Tribe woman watched Ty Lee's eyes widen. The acrobat shook her head in disbelief, now seeming to be very uncomfortable. "I…..that isn't right." The acrobat said quietly, "After what her father did to her…and if Fire Lord Azulon really did order her father to kill Zuko….." Ty Lee appeared pained at the thought of Azula doing this.
Katara watched her friend sympathetically. She could relate perfectly. "I know how you feel," The waterbender supplied, "When she told me that she wanted to name the boy 'Ozulai' I really felt like I had just been punched. After all this time? After everything she's been through and all the progress she's made? She's going to name our adopted son after two of the people that twisted her and made her mind break?" Katara heard her voice crack and she glared down at the floor, upset.
Ty Lee's voice was pained, "I guess it's something we're not meant to understand. Azula has always been complicated as I'm sure you've learned." Katara found herself laughing again. "Knowing Azula," Ty Lee pressed on, "It might be something very meaningful. I don't know if it's because she still loves Ozai and if she still respects Fire Lord Azulon."
Katara lifted her head, staring at Ty Lee as she moved her dark brown hair from her face. She chose her words carefully, "Is that what you really believe, or wishful thinking?" She watched as Ty Lee laughed, shrugging with a duck-sheepish smile on her face. Katara smirked. She was grateful for Ty Lee too. Ty Lee had known Azula ever since the two of them were children. She understood Azula when many others more than likely were unable to. It was one of the ways that Katara had been able to get under Azula's skin and into the firebender's seemingly cold heart. Ty Lee had acted as a 'translator' for the princess's mood swings.
Katara imagined that nowadays having Mai and Zuko's daughter around the palace helped too. Little Kaliza wasn't just adorable; she was affectionate and seemed like she would grow up very kind. She had immediately taken a liking to her aunt Azula. Katara honestly loved the effect Azula had on children. Kiyi, Azula's little sister, now at the age of nine and now small Kaliza both adored the fierce lightningbender. Kaliza always shrieked happily and grinned widely when she saw her auntie come into the room. The little one year old would try to articulate that she wanted to be held by her aunt, but all she could do was make attempts to "talk" and would try to crawl over to the firebender before Mai just picked her baby up and handed her to Azula.
The waterbender exhaled. She was hoping adopting children would make Azula even happier and give the warrior some kind of normal life. She knew how good the princess was with children; she knew that she, Azula and Ty Lee would all be good mothers. She just hadn't been expecting this. She hadn't been expecting Azula to still be paying some kind of tribute to Ozai and Azulon; not at all.
Even after Azula had made a gigantic breakthrough three years ago at the South Pole and broke down crying in her and Sokka's Gran-Gran's arms, confessing that even at that time, she didn't understand why Ozai had hurt her so much as a child-had abused her so horribly and then abandoned her…..and Azula still loved the two former Fire Lords?
She grit her teeth. She really hoped that Ty Lee was right. She really hoped that this was indeed just some kind of symbolic thing, and Azula didn't really still care about Ozai or her grandfather anymore. She just couldn't bear the thought that Azula might still love either of those monsters. After all the mental, verbal and physical abuse Ozai had done to his own daughter, it would break the waterbender's heart if he still somehow had his deceptive claws in Azula.
The Southern Water Tribe woman stood up, leveling her eyes at the acrobat, "I'm going to go find her and see if we can talk more civilly this time. I'll try to see if we can come to some kind of compromise." The waterbender hesitated, "And I'm going to apologize."
Katara watched the question emerge in her friend's grey eyes. She smiled sadly, "We got into an argument about the child's name. I got angry and brought up when Azula was chained up after the Agni Kai five years ago." Katara knew how Ty Lee would react. It didn't make the look on the contortionist's face any easier to see.
Katara could safely say that it was one of the few times she had seen the acrobat angry. She remembered when she had first seen the acrobat furious-it had been very startling for her. The braided young woman stared at Katara. Her grey eyes were even wider now and then they became narrowed. "And what made you think this was a good idea, Katara?" She asked, voice uncharacteristically hard, "You know that that still hurts her, right? Did you really want to embarrass her?"
The waterbender flinched. "You know I didn't." She said quietly, avoiding the acrobat's gaze again, "I'll go find her and apologize."
"Yes, please do." Ty Lee answered, voice almost chilly. Katara walked out swiftly. If there was one thing she knew Ty Lee hated, it was when someone hurt Azula. Ty Lee only became truly dangerous when she thought someone was hurting her princess. And if there was one person besides Azula herself that Katara would instantly confess that she never wanted to fight again ever, it was Ty Lee. Having her chi points blocked not once but twice was enough for her. The waterbender got down the palace hallway. Looking from the colorful tapestries on the walls to the garden in the square, outside of the palace halls, she felt a grin almost split her face when she saw bright blue-white sparks fly throughout the air, near one of the trees in the corner of the garden.
She ran down the steps into the yard of flowers and trees, getting close to the corner where she had seen the sparks. She saw some of the electricity simmer down and witnessed Azula firing some lightning in her katas.
"Azula!" She called, moving faster than she ever remembered moving, "Azula. Stop bending for a minute." She closed in on the pond and the tree that Azula was practicing between and the firebender, noting her lover, stopped her lightning, halting her moves and pivoting on her feet, facing the other woman.
The lightning now gone, Katara smiled again, feeling safe enough to move closer to her lover.
The physical sparks were no more but there was still a dangerously furious and icy look in the firebender's golden eyes that told Katara that she was in deep trouble.
"Azula," Katara started, hoping that she sounded as remorseful as she felt, "Baby…I'm sorry. She used the term of endearment rarely, knowing that Azula often saw those words as cheap, but hoped that it would work right now, "I shouldn't have brought it up. I'm so sorry I said that. I had no right."
"No you didn't," The princess snapped, voice stern and cold, "You still don't. Regardless of which side I was on, I'll never be able to forget a single moment of that day, and you know it. You did what you had to that day out of necessity and to win the war, but to remind me of the state I was in…"
As Azula's voice trailed off, Katara flinched, grimacing. "I'm sorry," She repeated, "I'm so sorry. You're right, it was awful. I hated seeing you like that, even back then. It was completely underhanded of me to bring it up. I was just so upset when you said you wanted to name our son after Ozai and Azulon. But that doesn't excuse what I said. I'm sorry."
"Five times." Azula said in a toneless voice, startling her lover. "Five times what?" Katara asked, now confused. Azula's face remained blank as she spoke, "Five times now you've said 'sorry.' I think I got the point the first time you said it, Katara."
The waterbender stifled a laugh. Go figure Azula would count how many times someone said something. It was just an oh so "Azula" thing to do. "I am though," She said, still chuckling a little, still appearing pained, "I'm sorry for what I said. I hate that I hurt you. I swore I never would. And I broke that promise."
Azula watched her lover with the intensity of a owl-cat. Her eyes were just as amber as an owl-cat's, especially in their glare. Now however, they seemed as neutral as Azula's face was.
The firebender stepped forwards. She said coolly as her the palm of her right hand cupped Katara's chin, "I do not love Ozai or Azulon anymore. I want you to understand that right now, Katara. I do not love either of them. I might have once five years ago, but not any longer. But I will not lie to myself and pretend that they were never a part of my life. I'm not going to act like they never influenced my life at all. It would be like pretending that it didn't happen." Azula sighed, the fire leaving her golden orbs, "You are right, it's ridiculous that I ever wanted to name a child of ours 'Ozulai.' I think I only truly wanted to acknowledge what happened. I can't act like Ozai and Azulon weren't some part of my life, even if they were what twisted me in the first place."
Katara sighed, taking Azula's hand by the wrist and moving it so that the firebender's palm was against her left cheek, nuzzling into it. It was exactly what Ty Lee had suggested that it was. This was all symbolic and meaningful in some way on Azula's part. There was no affection. Despite all of the years she had spent running from Firebending troops, wild animals, and evading Zuko and Azula themselves, Katara could safely say that she had never felt more relief than at that very moment when it was blatant that Azula possessed no love for her father or grandfather anymore.
To press her point further, Azula stroked her thumb repeatedly over Katara's cheek. "I don't love them," She emphasized, "I really don't think I ever did. Whatever it was between us, it wasn't love. Ozai certainly didn't love me." Katara looked at her lover curiously, trying to see if there was any bitterness left over from old traumas, but there was no sign of it: just pure honesty.
Azula smirked at her lover's look of wonder. "Is it that hard to believe that I see things for the way they are?" She asked, voice holding a dark mirth, "I have hallucinations, but I'm not delusional, at least not anymore. I'm not Zuzu or Ursa."
Katara tried not to wince. She knew that regardless of what Azula had gone through and how much she had grown as a person, she still saw Zuko and Ursa as part of the reason why she had broken down as well as Ozai and Azulon. She chose to leave all five Ozai, Azulon, Iroh, Zuko and Ursa behind. The lightingbender saw all five of them as part of the problem.
"Don't think too much." Azula said, shrugging, "You're Zuko's friend and I respect that. But don't expect me to be his little sister again just because he wants it. I've moved on. He should too." The firebender stared more intensely at her girlfriend, "You're one of the reasons why I was able to accept myself. If it wasn't for you….." Azula's voice trailed off as she leaned in, capturing Katara's lips in a tender, skilled kiss.
Katara forgot her thoughts and wrapped her arms around Azula's form, pulling her close. She moaned into the kiss. She loved it when Azula let go of the stigma her people had over "public displays of affection." Separating from their embrace, Katara stood back, smiling at her lover.
"I'm sorry." She repeated, knowing that Azula was counting this apology too.
"And that's seven." Azula countered, smirking again as the waterbender playfully smacked the Fire Nation woman's arm.
The golden eyed warrior offered, voice careful, "What do you want to name our child? I won't push anything, if you don't want." Katara nodded, smiling. She wanted a compromise. After everything Azula had been through, it wasn't fair for Katara to make all the decisions herself.
"I'll think about it." The brown haired woman answered, "We'll work something out. I want us both and Ty Lee to make the decision. Not just me and not just you. We should all decide. Give me a while to think."
Azula nodded, hand sliding down Katara's arm. She turned her head to the right a little, in the direction of the gardens behind the palace. "Walk with me?" She asked and Katara smiled at the request. She had gotten used to Azula asking permission for things instead of commanding and always liked hearing it from her lover. "Of course." She consented, hand joining with Azula's as the princess started walking towards the garden and walked with her.
Author's Note:
Okay, as I said, I know that that was incredibly OOC, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. No flames please.