Disclaimer: I do not own Harvest Moon.

Summary: Lumina is tired of having to follow the conformities that society places upon her, and is unhappy with her way of life. Though she wants to break out and express herself instead of obeying Romana and society's expectations for her as a pianist and a model young lady, she is afraid of the consequences. With the help of an unusual companion, she may just find the courage to be herself. Lumina x Nami friendship. Vague ties to 'Karen, You're Being Irrational', but not a sequel.

Dedication: To my mysterious contact, who I still haven't had the courage to talk to, and doesn't know of the existence of this fic, even though she inspired it.

Prelude

Twelve was an awkward age, Lumina thought. It was at the crossroad of leaving childhood behind, but not quite on the road of adulthood. It agonized her, it teased her, it tortured her.

As a small child Lumina did not have any friends her own age. After her parents' death, she was raised by her grandmother Romana to be a polite, well-mannered young lady with respect for her elders and the thirst for learning that was in favor with the adults of the valley. So it was not that Lumina was unliked, simply that she had no one to relate to.

This had never been a problem before. Lumina learned to invent ways to amuse herself as she grew older, like only children do, and was quite happy with all that was offered to her. But at twelve, spinning towards thirteen, and then teenagehood, the arguments began.

Romana had been determined to raise Lumina to the best of her ability, and with her granddaughter's rising talent in the music field, she was determined to give Lumina the opportunity to succeed! Lumina had once been very excited about this, but the late year had shown upon her losing interest in the piano bench. Lumina began to neglect practicing, and spent more time alone, sometimes ignoring Romana's nagging to practice, or work on other chores.

She hadn't realized it at first, but Lumina had begun to change, as well as the world around her. As the pre-adolescent girl clung to her past, time was moving ever faster and the clock inside her ticked away the minutes. Underneath her soft exterior, a ghost of rebellion was beginning to grow in Lumina. She had believed once, that she would never be like the teenagers she read about in books and elsewhere, but was only to find that she could not prevent the hormones from raging through her body to tear her world apart.

In the beginning, Lumina hardly noticed the small changes around her, but then began to resent them. Maybe it was the way the women always called her the 'model child' or 'pretty little thing'. Lumina often wondered who they saw when they looked at her. When she looked in the mirror, she often wondered who was standing before her. Her path in life had already been mapped out, paved and painted for her, just like a dream, but where was she in all of this? An individual? Sometimes, she felt merely like a doll, or a puppet, playing her role perfectly, but never anything more.

"Lumina, it's time to practice piano," came the expected, creaky old voice from the foot of the stairway, sneaking in under the cracks of Lumina's door. Lumina herself was perched on her windowsill, looking out on the afternoon in the valley.

"I don't feel like practicing right now, Grandma, I'm too tired," she called back in a slightly louder tone than she had intended. Not that it mattered, with Grandmother Romana's hearing failing of late.

Lumina paused to listen to see if her grandmother would respond. No answer came, only a small sigh, and the creaking of the floorboards as her aged caretaker walked away from the stairs, probably to the kitchen. Romana tended to retreat to the small, tiled, never-quite-completely-stocked room when she needed solace, and Lumina could only guess why.

It was, after all, her fault again. Romana only wanted Lumina's best interests, and Lumina was instead unkind and rude to her, this woman who loved her, her kin. She couldn't help it sometimes nowadays, though. Lumina felt bitter, sometimes wondering if her life had meaning at all, though her thoughts never strayed quite as far as death.

Like a caged bird looking out through the bars of her cage, the golden-haired dreamer wondered if she'd ever be free.

The Mysterious Contact

Lumina was feeling very shut-in this fine morning. After playing a few, simpler songs, if only to suppress her conscience, on the piano, and then feeding the cats, she was at a loss of things to do. Romana had gone out on a walk, and Sebastian was too busy cleaning to talk to, so Lumina was feeling every fiber of isolation.

Peeping into the guest room, where the family butler and longtime friend, Sebastian was dusting the furniture, Lumina cleared her throat slightly. When Sebastian raised his head, she edged slightly into the room, standing halfway through the doorway.

"I was wondering if I might go out into the valley this morning," Lumina said, hopefully, and then adding, "I've done all my chores." Sebastian smiled kindly and nodded.

"Just be home in time for lunch. Also, you may have some apologizing to do to your grandmother when you return, so think about what you are going to say. You know how your lack of motivation hurts her. If you no longer want to play, at least tell her why," he spoke in a slow, thoughtful voice, less cracked then Romana's but never the less aged and dusty, rather like the books in the living room.

Lumina nodded and walked back out into the hall, shutting the door with a small click behind her. She sighed, and then with a momentary flash of irritation thought to herself, but how can I tell that to Grandma? She would be terribly upset and disappointed in me, and I can't let her down…this pressure to do well is overwhelming. I'm trying hard to please everybody, but I just can't! Not when…not when I can't be me alongside all that! Oh, stop it, Lumina! You're being selfish!

Sunlight poured into the house as Lumina opened the front door and stepped outside. She had to shut it quickly, though, so the cats wouldn't get out, but Lumina was outside now, where all the sunlight was, and so she wasn't dissatisfied in the least. It wasn't particularly warm this morning, which was nice, and there was even a gentle breeze that ruffled the grasses and played around with Lumina's hair.

When her eyes adjusted, Lumina began to walk in a relaxed fashion, looking at everything around her with such care that she almost didn't see it. That is why she didn't notice the young woman some years older than her walking up the path at first. However, upon second glance, the deep red hair was so striking that Lumina wondered why she had not noticed it in the first place. The older girl had sharp blue eyes and a very intriguing face that pulled Lumina in. She suddenly realized she was staring, and immediately turned the other way. The redhead walked a little way farther up the stone walkway, and then turned and proceeded back down. Morning walks were common for many people of the valley, Lumina had noticed. Though, she couldn't say that she'd seen this woman before.

Lumina's thoughts wandered as the tall figured disappeared from site around the bend. It was now that she remembered that turtle she had saw at the pond a week or so before. Maybe she would go down that ways and explore around there…

"You're late again," Sebastian was waiting at the door when Lumina tromped in, far after the lunch hour, as well as being muddy and quite disheveled. Romana was sitting silently at the dining room table, having already finished her main bit, and was chewing methodically on her salad, eyes unfocused. The old woman did not say anything, and Lumina could tell that she was deeply upset.

"I'm sorry Sebastian, Grandma…I lost track of time," she stuttered, looking down at her shoes and feeling thoroughly ashamed of herself. Gah, stupid again, Lumina thought.

Romana looked up, "Your soup went cold. You'd best heat it up." She went back to her salad and spoke no more.

"Grandma Romana, about yesterday…" Lumina hurried to appease her, but Sebastian gently ushered her towards the kitchen.

"Now is not a good time to talk," was all he said, and then left her alone in the kitchen to think.

It was all Lumina could do not to run immediately up to her room and start crying.

The next morning Lumina stayed at home and helped Sebastian clean. Romana had forbidden her to leave the house that day, and had said nothing more, leaving for her morning walk earlier then usual, and coming home far later, as if to make her point. Guilt plagued Lumina. She had to make up for hurting her grandmother, she had to.

That evening, Romana was ready to talk.

"Well, what do you have to say for yourself? Do you no longer wish to play the piano? I can't invest my time in this if you continue to be unmotivated. Either pick up your studies, or I'll simply have to end the lessons. If you're not going to try, then I'm not going to put anything more into this." Lumina shifted her weight from one foot to the other, not looking her grandmother in the eyes.

"I'm sorry, Grandma Romana, I really do want to learn. I'll try harder," she said, sniffing slightly. Romana's expression changed.

"I was a bit hard on you, Lumina. You know I just want the best for you. That's why, if you really don't want to continue piano, then you don't have to. I just want you to be able to communicate with me." Lumina couldn't help running over into her grandmother's arms, blinking rapidly so she wouldn't start crying again from this stress that had been building up lately.

"No, I really want to learn! I've been tired lately, but it'll change! I'm going to give it my all!" she whispered, her voice breaking as she buried her head in Romana's shoulder. Romana patted her gently on the back, smiling in a soft, loving way.

Later, Lumina sat on her bead, trying to decide if she had done the right thing. Because, she didn't enjoy piano that much anymore, but she could never tell her grandmother that…it would crush her feelings. So had she lied?

"No, I did not lie. I will try harder. Just to please Grandma!" she spoke aloud to reassure herself, but even then it came out hollow and empty.

The next day, Lumina saw the unfamiliar woman again. She watched her for a while, as long as she dared for fear of being noticed, and thought about how very different the other one was. Lumina could not find the words to describe her, but she found the older girl very interesting, and she wanted to speak with her, but found herself suddenly shy. Lumina could deal with grown ups and the lot, but this girl was different. She didn't know what to expect. What if she said the wrong thing?

A month passed. Spring bled into summer and the weather became gradually warmer, the colors of the valley gradually brighter, and the air gradually thicker with the scents of flowers in bloom. The strange redhead that Lumina had taken to watch in the mornings did not come around regularly, in fact, she seemed to have no set schedule, but Lumina didn't mind. Seeing her every once in a while was a comfort to her confused and lonely heart.

Secretly, Lumina had begun to pretend that this woman was her friend, though she didn't even know her name. The woman didn't have as quite an open air as the other young woman in the valley did. Celia and Muffy were very friendly and talkative, which almost put Lumina off sometimes. Perhaps that was why she was attracted to this particular woman herself. Existing in her own little world herself, Lumina would try to guess what the woman was thinking, what she was like, and so forth.

Lumina couldn't build up the courage to talk to the redhead, since she was so much older, but sometimes she could swear that the older girl looked over at her when she passed by. Maybe one of these days Lumina would talk to her. Someday…someday…

Lumina stood in front of the mirror, trying out various greetings that she thought she might use to speak to the older girl. They all came out cheesy and stupid, but she couldn't think of anything else. Finally, in her desperation, she asked her grandmother.

"Just say 'Hi, my name is Lumina, what's your name?'," Romana responded promptly, "It's usually hardest to begin to conversation, but after that, you'll be talking well enough." Lumina looked doubtful. Somehow, it isn't that easy for me. Maybe I just think too much…

She stayed up for a long time on her bead, thinking about conversation starters and topics to talk about, even though nothing seemed quite right. Maybe I'll figure it out when I see her again, thought Lumina as she drifted off to sleep.

End of chapter one. Not much going on, but life can be that way sometimes. Heh heh.