Harry Potter and the stupid ness of stones.

Chappie 1. wtf?! He didn't die?

The Dursley's were a perfectly normal boring typical stupid family thank you. Mr.
Vernon Dursley was a wrecking ball for the local construction company. Petunia Dursley

was a giraffe that worked for the SOYNA (spy on your neighbors association). And then,
there was Dudley. Dudley was so fat; he is the reason for the seasons. He put the world

off its axis. At the ripe age of 5 months the world went hurling into the sun, but that's
another story. So anyway Aunt P had a sister, who had a mother who had a father who had a sister who had a brother

who had a neighbor who had a cat who had a lawyer who had a cousin who had a relative who had a car who had a squirrel who had a block of cheese who had a llama who owned a nightclub. Her sister was called Lily and she was dun

dun duuuuuuun! A wench! Oops I mean a witch! She had a husband named James and they had a house where they had wild parties because they turned it into a rave. They had a son named Harry. Aunt Petunia didn't want her baby

blue whale mixing with a little buttmuncho like that. So one day when Vernon was leaving for work, he saw a cat sitting on the fence. This cat was odd because it was dressed in a Hitler mustace smoking a cigar. It also had a large neon sign

next to it which read: I AM NOT MCGONAGALL! So he thought nothing of it and ran away even though he was in a car While driving to work he saw oddly dressed people in the streets who had glowsticks in their mouths. When he got

to work he saw boxes of bisquick flying in the sky. At his lunch break he went into town he felt hungry. The fact of the matter was, when he felt hungry, well why do you think there is world hunger? While walking in the streets he heard

people whispering about people named Lily and James. They also mentioned Harry. This bothered him. His nephew's name coulb be Fifi, potato chip, or Ed. On his way home from work, he saw the cat again. He glared at the cat, and the

cat gave him the bird. When he got home he asked Petunia, "What was our nephew's name again?" "Isn't it Ed?" "No it's Harry, nasty common name if you ask me." "Oh! Dudley learned a new word today! Say it honey!" "Yo momma!"

"good! There's my diddy-fat kins!" While Petunia wrestled baby butt has it's own zipcode and mortage payment plan, people all around town raised their glowsticks in the air and shouted. "WTF?! THE KID LIVED!!!!!

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Wow that chapter sucked. Sorry.
Please R& R!!!!! Flames are soo welcome!
I have an evil little muse sitting on my desk eatin all my chips. He is a purple Llama named Frederick the 83rd. blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

More soon!