It's been a long time I haven't publish a fanfic on this site... Hehe. Yeah this was in my notebook and I wrote it when I was sad at some point in school but it turn out that this one is really great and I love it!

Oh yeah I don't care your whines if it doesn't go with the canon one. This one shot is one of the parts of my Naruto AU and doesn't have anything to do with Naruto whatsoever. It isn't supposed to make sense neither. I'll probably keep making chapters for this AU but that's a maybe because of school. I'm also practicing on POV. (Characters point of view.)

This is base on a song and it will contain suicide thoughs so watch out for that. I accept nice criticism but please don't be too rude in your review, that doesn't help me at all.

My life will never changes and never will if I stay any longer.

I gently sat down on the train tracks to wait for the train to come here and erase me from this miserable life of mine. I was unlucky usually, everything is getting worse or falling apart every time I woke from the dream of my cousin Neiji getting crushed by the same train track that I'm sitting at in the Leaf Village.

Maybe I could make a family tradition if I die here. My death will become the same death as Neiji.

Wouldn't that be wonderful? Yes, I'll keep telling that to myself.

Oh the pain… When I went to school today I saw my crush Naruto talking with the pink haired girl on the bench. They always do this every day. Laughing, smiling, and maybe saying a few things there I never get to understood so I decide to separate them until it was too late.

It didn't work at all like it should be.

And now Naruto hates me. He probably is with that Sakura girl again but I couldn't blame them, they were too happy together and it should stay that way forever. How unluckily I am. I fail all the times, so what is a reason to stay in this life while I'm broken? Maybe I'll be better off in another life. This life wasn't the best anyway in my point of view, Sasuke keep telling me the opposite of what I think but I didn't listen to him. I felt if he did I will get him trap in my own webs of problem and I don't want that.

And of course I suddenly lower my grades since I keep having thoughs and some more thoughs about the future. There's no future for me. My birth was an error anyway.

I don't want to tell what my family do to people... They are the reasons why Neiji isn't here anymore. It is their fault that his death turn out to be a suicide but they couldn't see that through my pain in my own emotionless white eyes. I planned to ran away from them but they keep pulling me toward them so I can become exactly like them. I don't want to be like them.

Neither does Sasuke, I always told him everything what is going on and he didn't like it at all. I guess I'll see Sasuke in another life if he ever dies. It could be fun now that I'm thinking about it. I always hated my eyes though, it didn't suit me at all and of course the clan likes it very much since it have special powers or something like my father told me. Maybe I should have get eye contacts that are green eyes but there's no need for that anymore, I'm not going to be here.

There's was a noise coming close to me. It was the train who is coming toward me. This is it. This is what I was waiting for, what everyone was waiting for.

I was going to die. There was no one stopping me from doing what I am about to do, I did deserve it after all. Right? I am right.

Sasuke will be upset if he ever find out I kill myself. I'm not sure what he will do if he knows I submit to commit suicide. Maybe this wasn't the best idea. Maybe I shouldn't do this, but I did agree with it at first though. Why did I have second thoughs on this matter again? It was because of that raven haired boy, it always have been like that. I never could get myself death because of him.

I guess my distorted soul is safe once again. ''Haha...'' I let out a laugh of how frustatered I am right now, I can't even decide to kill myself or not. I'm so tired of this nonsense story of mine. I was supposed to kill myself but here I am regretting everything. I'm truly a garbage someone should pick me up and get me to a nearest dumpster.

Before the train have slow down before it strikes me I stand up and walk away unharmed.

Maybe another day... Maybe another day I could get myself death one day if Sasuke finally bring himself to hate me. Will he ever hate me? He did say he loves me too much even if he seems emotionless or cold all the times to everyone around him. Maybe I wouldn't have to kill myself if Sasuke never came to hate me.

''Maybe another day I will get what I deserve...''