Incarceration
A Sirius Black Microfic/headcannon
Author's note: A very very very small fic I wrote in the night before I fell asleep. Just a headcannon on how Sirius would've spent his birthday in Azkaban. Do review.
Surrounded by the four black walls, there was nothing to do but stare at them. Sirius looked at the chipped stone wall and slowly ran his fingers over it. The prison cell was barely six feet by four. The walls were the same thick grey stone as the dwellings of the region, but instead of a wide window with a flower box there was a mean barred opening with thick metal bars and no glass. It was either suffocatingly quiet or pierced with the screams of other tortured criminals. Given enough time a person could forget their own name in there. The isolation was total and the stimulation was zero. No sound, no light, no furniture or cloth of any kind. It was all an inmate could do to feel the cool walls, but even they were smooth.
"Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear Sirius," he sang to himself.
Tears burst forth from his eyes and the salty dotted droplets rolled down his pale, waxy skin. All of his skin clung to his bones, he looked weak and paler than ever. Sirius rubbed his eyes slowly, wiping away the tears that dripped from his cold,metallic eyes. There were bags under his eyes, his skin had turned charcoal like.
Sirius felt his heart ache. He was filled with regret and guilt. More than any of these, he simply missed James. James had become a silhouette, as if he walked from a photograph and left behind blackness. He would describe his heartache as like a the music of a great orchestra. At times it was quiet and allowed him to function, at other times the violins would play and he would be sad, then at other times it would rise to a crescendo and the anger would burst from his chest in a vicious shout of anguish.
Regret washed over him like the long slow waves on a shallow beach. Each wave was icy cold and sent shivers down his spine. It would've been so different today, this very moment if Sirius had trusted Remus. They all would've been celebrating Sirius' birthday.
This was not going to be easy. He didn't know what he was going to do in here. He decided that he wouldn't allow the dementors to have any effect on him. He was Sirius Black after all, son of the Potters. James was going to be so proud.