Paris
To say its beautiful would be a sheer understatement.
It's everything Blair Waldorf has ever wanted crammed together in one fairyland kingdom. Its romance. Its art, its history and its designer clothes. The home of labels and the home of love. Right here. This is the place with the perfect combination of familiar and foreign.
She doesn't know how she ended up here. When she thinks back to the process, it's all just a big blur. It's the same old story, it always has been. She loves him; she'll say it and she'll prove it. He claims he loves her too but he won't commit. When he kisses her, it sets her on fire and makes her feel like the most powerful, cherished woman alive. He'll buy her anything that catches her eye. He'll travel with her around the world but he won't put a ring on her finger.
She should have known, she did but something keeps telling her she's wrong and he'll surprise her, like he's done so many times before.
Serena's become something of a therapist of late. She uses the knowing tone of a wife. She told Blair that Paris was good because Blair needed some time to "soul search" and figure out "what you really want." As if she didn't know. Blair Waldorf knew what she wanted since she was seventeen and even before then, she had a good idea. Serena was in the position though, she was lucky. Nate was there, willing and sure that she was the one for him. They already had a perfect blond addition to the family. Blair isn't bitter at all. She's not afraid of being alone and she doesn't care that she's thirty two and times running out. And Serena knows this, because Serena knows everything.
Dan's now living the good life now in the Upper East Side, writing oh-so tragic romantic novels. Blair scoffs and grins whenever he and Vanessa host brunch, because Dan Humphrey hosting brunch is the definition of hypocrisy. Behind all his disdain, Blair always knew that once you see her world, their world, you want to be a part of it.
She's only talking to Dorota and Serena. She sends postcards. She sent one to him telling him to fuck off and go move in with Nate because he's shown more commitment to his 'bromance' rather than his girlfriend.
She's adopted a thrill seeking attitude these days. Bungee jumping, maxing out several credit cards in remarkably short time spans (yes, even by her standards) and sleeping with anyone who complements her past the hour of ten o'clock. She's a mess and she knows it. But you can't tell because she's donning every Chanel dress there is in the city and the hurt in her eyes is camouflaged by the Gucci glasses.
It's a good thing she's a goddess when it comes to speaking French. She's already vacationed here several times and its splendor only grows more spectacular. She takes walks in the small hours, because that's really when it's at its most beautiful. Tonight, she strolls into the quaint bookstore. There's a whole shelf dedicated to Dan's new novel. Hardback, paperback, CD editions. She doesn't read the title, the authors name dominates the cover and that's enough to tell her not to buy. She bought his last one and whilst it was entertaining, he wrote, "I will stand by you through anything, because I love you."
His latest might involve a girl losing her virginity to boyfriend's best friend and it's just not a risk she's willing to take.
So she turns around the spot she's fixed on and strides straight out again.
Blair considered staying with her father. But the more she considered, the more she thought it was best to dodge the train wrecks in her life as accurately as she could. That meant avoiding Chuck too. The calls. The letters. The e-mails. The "I love you"-s that came just a little too late.
When she compares and contrasts the two most important guys in her life, the ending film rolling in her head always differs. Had she somehow ended up with Nate, it's like a cheesy romantic comedy. They'd have two point five kids, a white picket fence and a lovely, huge home. With Chuck, it's an action slash romance slash comedy film and she doesn't have kids, she has several houses and she has a heart that's always racing.
Her cell phone rings and she answers.
"Salut." She waits for a reply from one of the twenty something French guys who can't get enough of her.
"Its Serena," she greets bluntly, "look there's something I have to give you a heads up over."
"S, please tell me your somewhere within this city." She asks excitedly, knowing that it's a bit of a reach, but if she's ever needed some of Serena's spontaneity its now.
"No…but Chuck is." Blair can almost see the look of anticipation and dread upon her best friends face.
"I can't believe you two would send him over to me," she replies, spitting venom, "it's over. Done, dead and over. I'm done with games now. You know, Serena, games are fun when you're eighteen and there's all the time in the world. But guess what, I'm thirty two and I don't have time."
"Hey, Blair he sent himself. Look I'm just telling you, okay?" She responds.
"Right, and you and dear Nathaniel had absolutely nothing to do with it." She scoffs.
"Just don't be surprised if you see his face. I love you B. Please come home." She clicks off. Blair's eyes are glazed over. Sometimes, its heart warming to know that someone knew you as well as Serena knows Blair. But frankly, sometimes it makes you take on the situations in life you don't want to face at all.
"Stupid Serena." She mutters. No, I'm not coming home, she thinks bitterly. Memories are powerful things, the sadness, betrayal and hurt can soon become too much. And as Serena knew herself, you just can't come home again. Not without repercussions.
--
After another hour or so of walking around in a daze, Blair sat down on a park bench. She was walking in a complete trance. He was here. Part of her knew it was coming, but an even bigger part didn't want to see his face ever again. He's been calling her frantically; she's been hanging up constantly.
I'm outside the Opera Garnier. – C, he texts her.
She doesn't reply. She wonders if he's hurting. She wants to hurt him just as much as he's hurt her. She shudders in the cold and strokes a lock of hair behind her ear.
They were friends before they weren't.
They were friends before they were something more.
They were friends before they became a lot less.
They were "friends" before they became nothing to each other anymore.
--
When you're faced with a decision, do you jump straight into the future, feet first? Or do you keep a little bit in the past, just in case?
Blair Waldorf played things safe. She never took risks. She assessed were she was before she did anything major. But when she received Chucks message, in a fit of complete impulse, she decided to meet him anyway, just to see just how much he wanted her back.
He's standing there outside the magnificent structure, hands in pockets. He's wearing a red bow tie. Armani always did great things for him.
When she approaches him, she doesn't greet him. It's taking all her strength not to slap his smug face.
But when he turns around, his face isn't the smug one she knows so well. It's broken.
"Blair…" He murmurs his voice cracked. She doesn't greet him back. Silence resumes.
"I'm sorry." He tells her with the most earnest tone Blair's ever heard.
"What are you apologizing for, Chuck? Sleeping with me in Vegas? Leaving me alone wondering where you were? Not saying goodbye? There's a lot of options so, Chuck tell me what the fuck you're apologizing for." She shouts, unable to contain any emotion, even though they're standing in the middle of a street and they're about to catch pneumonia.
"I'm sorry for everything." He admits, searching in her eyes for a faint spark of forgiveness. But he knows, she's Blair Waldorf and he's not going to allow himself to be surprised should she walk away this very minute.
She bites her lip. "I didn't want you here. It's been a year and a half."
"Its been excruciating." He admits, "but then again it always has been."
"I'm sure there haven't been many lonely nights." She snarls, her eyes falling on his mouth.
"You'd be wrong, to be frank." He snaps back.
"Why?" Is all she can ask him, "I was in love with you and you wouldn't let me do it properly. You never did." She says with resent. That's when she turns around and walks away.
He reaches out, taking her hand gently and seizing her heart. And it's finally dawned on him that she is the one. She looks back at him with a glare of revolt. But as he pulls her back to him, she surrenders because sometimes it just feels better to give in.
The kiss is slow, Blair feels hurt by it.
When they part, he looks down at her, their foreheads still resting on each others.
"Its always going to be like this, isn't it? You say jump and I ask how high." She says with remorse. A tear falls for the first time in a year and a half.
"Its always going to be like this." He agrees, getting down on one knee.
--
A/N: Thanks for reading (: feedback is appreciated.