A/N

New fic! From scratch! Please someone tell me why I can't write Sherlolly all the way? This is getting ridiculous. At least I contribute some Jolly/Hoopson in this world. Thanks! Reviews are appreciated!

Disclaimer: I own shit, as usual. Exept my mistakes. All mine. Still no beta, just me.

8*8*8*8*8

"What?!"

"Would you keep your voice down, please? Rosie is sleeping in her room!" she hissed. Molly understood that what she'd just said to him was a great shock and everything but having the little girl awake in all this mess wouldn't help.

"Keep my voice d-! Molly, do you understand what you're saying? That, that y-you were..."

"Yes." she said sounding deafeted and looking at the kitchen floor near their feet.

"Pregnant. And you didn't think to tell me?"

"Of course I thought of telling you! But you and Mary...you moved so fast and everything happened so quickly. And then Sherlock and all! There wasn't enough time and..."

"What happened to the baby, Molly?" he asked. John could see that even thinking of all these brought distress to Molly but his questiones had to be answered.

"I miscarriaged. Two and a half weeks after the first semester. The doctors gave me no specific reason. Everything was going perfectly. We were both healthy. I-I just...I don't know what went wrong." she said and started heaving.

Nobody knew about this except her doctor and a few nurses. She had tried to keep this under wraps and having Mycroft Holmes as a good friend helped. He was there when she needed someone. And John couldn't know. He was considering asking Mary to marry him and she hadn't the courage to tell him such awful news and stall him from his future. Plus, they hadn't seen each other in two months. Suddently coming up to him saying she was pregnant and that she'd lost the baby was too cruel to do. So she had kept quit about it. Sherlock had commented that she looked awful but the didn't go further then that. He'd just returned and getting in John's good graces was more important then sorting her out.

She hadn't told anyone till now. Years had passed. John had married. Mary died etc, etc, etc... Nowdays those two were back together as best mates and colleagues and Molly was their dedicated pathologist and friend. But being here, in her new home with John and Rosie, even if it was for the occasional babysitting duty, hurt her deeply. A little pang inside told her that this could be hers. Her family. John, her husband. Rosie, her daughter. Ans she always felt a little jealousy for Mary and all she had. But Mary grew to be a valuable friend of hers so this traitorous feeling subsided after a while.

"But WHY didn't you tell me?! I could have helped! I Would have helped! I'd be here for you both! How could you take this away from me? I-I can't believe it!" he shouted, waking Rosie up in the process.

Molly rushed to the baby, shushing her and putting her back to sleep. Thankfully, John had some time to cool off and see things in Molly's prospective. Her pain all these years must have been unbearable. And having no one to share the burden with... They had all gotten used to the quit strength that was Molly Hooper that they never asked how she was faring. Fine worked for them. Well, once more, looks can be deceiving.

"She's asleep once more." Molly said entering quitely the living room. She didn't dare look up to him. It wasn't her fault but she could have talked to him sooner.

"That's why you've been so lost today? You were thinking about this?" he tried.

"I-I lost him today. All those years ago. An ambulance came but there was nothing they could do. I...just lost him." she said and started crying anew. It was like her heart was cut into. An emptyness that was still here after all this time. Sometimes in the silence of the dark night, she could fantasize about hearing his heartbeat.

"Him..." John came closer and embraced her tightly in his arms. Images of a little buy with brown hair and blue eyes came to his mind. Crawling around just like Rosie. Laughing like a little sweet angel. Salty tears poured down on Molly's hair while hers stained John's shirt. She hugged him tighter to her. Trying to replace the coldness with his sweet and safe warmth.

Whatever happened, both knew the truth now and would try to continue together. And frelly grieve for what they lost long ago.

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A/N

This started in a different way...I have no idea how it came to this sad fic. Sorry. Though I had this idea for a while and it was freeing to finally get it out of my chest. I have never miscarriaged or gotten pregnant ad I hope I offend no one with my fic.

Thank you for reading,

Andriana, Greece